Reawakening one’s former self

“Attention passengers, this is your captain speaking. We have just begun our descent into Boston and we’ll be landing soon. Please put your tray tables up and….”

The sound of the announcement faded away as Penny felt a plan hatching in her mind. It was just past 9pm and she technically hadn’t had dinner yet… unless you count a complimentary snack of impressively tasteless plantain chips. She’d find a nice restaurant – with a bar – in the terminal and grab some food and drink before heading out.

Sure, she’d just been gone for 2 days for a work trip and of course she missed her family… but everyone would be asleep by the time she got home anyway, she reasoned, whether she went home straight away or not.

It wasn’t that she was overly hungry or particularly fond of Logan Airport, but she just couldn’t bear to go home yet.

The sense of freedom and the inklings of her former self had too strong of a pull over her. It had been her first time away from home in so long she couldn’t even remember the last time. The first time away from being on call 24/7. The first time away from the relentless chants of “Mommy!” “Mommy!” “Mommy!”. The first time she could get a night of uninterrupted sleep. No dogs or children or husband taking up all the space. No cries – real or phantom. No middle of the night surprise sicknesses.

And most importantly, it was the first time she could breathe.

Without even consciously thinking about the trip beforehand – because who has time for that with young kids at home – she felt a weight lift off her shoulders as the cab drove them down her driveway and away from her loving, waving, on-the-brink-of-crying family. She couldn’t help but feel the corners of her lips turn upward. It wouldn’t be long before she began remembering that there was in fact life outside of motherhood. It was the same life she had enjoyed effortlessly, and perhaps naively, for her first 33 years on Earth. The life she had forgotten.

Even the smallest act brought a wide-spreading grin to her face. Being able to use the bathroom in public without her mischievous preschool-age daughter swinging the door open mid-pee. Having all of five seconds to enjoy a drink of water without fearing her newly mobile toddler would dart off into the crowd. These were indulgences that pre-parent Penny would have laughed her butt off hearing about. But now, parent Penny felt like she was living the life of luxury. Who knew peeing alone could be so exhilarating!?

Peeing alone wasn’t the highlight of her trip though. She had also gotten dressed in actual, non-sweats, type of attire for two whole days. She’d even styled her hair and applied some makeup. When Penny caught her reflection in the mirror, she wasn’t even sure who that was looking back at her. Yeah, sure that was her body. I mean, the bags under the eyes were still present. However, they were minimalized significantly by the giant smile she naturally found herself making. She hadn’t felt or seen that type of genuine smile in a long time. And it felt amazing.  

They say positivity breeds positivity and boy did she feel it. It seemed like her smile was mirrored back to her by everyone she encountered. A noticeable change from the receptions she was used to navigating in her town. Maybe it was because people pitied her at home? Or felt she should use her magic wand to quiet the naturally high-pitched tones of her children? Or thought she smelled? Penny smiled at the last thought. She definitely smelled at home. I mean, why wouldn’t she? She usually picked up the same clothes off the floor to throw on day after day. Why bother putting on fresh clothes if her daughter is going to rub her sticky yogurt fingers all over them? Or her son rub his snot on – or better yet, pee on?

Just then, the seatbelt sign beeped off, and the mad scramble to stand and wait in place began. It had always amused Penny how passengers raced to carve out their space in the aisle… their space to stand and wait while pushed against other passengers and their belongings. Penny was perfectly fine waiting the 5 to 50+ minutes it would take for the plane door to actually open and for the deplaning to actually begin. She really didn’t have a problem waiting all night. The flight had felt much too quick in her opinion.

A mere 15 minutes later and Penny was wheeling her suitcase down Terminal C. She spotted a very Boston-esque sports pub and made her way in.

After she ordered her beer, she realized she should probably power her phone back on. It was one thing to extend her trip by an hour or so. It was another to go radio silent.

Just as she was trying to decide between the fish tacos and the BLT, her phone started ringing. It was an unknown number. Usually she wouldn’t answer these types of calls but something made her pick up.

“Hello?”

“HAVE YOU GOTTEN MY MESSAGES!? WHY HAVEN’T YOU CALLED ME BACK?!” It was Trevor, Penny’s husband. And he sounded less than pleased.

“Oh, sorry, we just landed.”

“WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BE HOME?? WE ARE LOCKED OUT AND THE FIRE DEPARTMENT CAN’T GET HERE FOR AWHILE.”

“What? How did that happen? Who’s phone are you calling me from?”

“IT DOESN’T MATTER. THE KIDS ARE GOING CRAZY. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BE BACK? THIS IS THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE. YOU NEED TO GET HOME. NOW!”

“Ah, I’ll be home as fast as I can.”  

Obviously this happened, Penny muttered, as she signaled for the bartender to close her out.

She chugged the beer, signed the slip, grabbed her suitcase, and bolted for the taxi line.

While her buzz was soon lost, the sensations of her former self would not be. Penny was determined to tap back into those thrilling feelings. And she would make sure to do it again soon – work trip or not.