Easy Question?

So why does my story have to be between 1,000 and 3,000 words? Because you said so!

Growing up is hard enough. Many times it seemed like my parents, mostly my dad, forgot that.

Why his reluctance to answer such easy questions I will never understand at least that is what I thought.

He was that way with me. He was that way with my siblings. And when we were very young we thought our parents knew everything.

Most of the time mom would explain and we would understand right away. But dad seemed to avoid answering and when we would ask WHY his response would always seem to be 'because I said so.'

None of us kids thought that to be a fair answer. Then one time I had a sleepover at a friend's and he got that same answer. For sure they did not find it in the bood of good parenting.

So even though your school teachers taught you to ask questions once you got a 'because I said so' answer you were reluctant to ask any more.

The big difference, questions in school always had actual answers. Actual answers helped with the learning process.

My sisters always seemed to be annoying, especially when they were asked to do something they did not want to do, they would ask WHY. Nine times out of ten rather than an actual reason they would get the 'because I said so' answer.

Upon reaching those tricky teen years and still getting that answer from dad, I became convinced it was just his way of letting us know he was 'king of the castle' and had full authority over us.

What made it so frustrating for me was fathers and sons were supposed to have a special bond doing guy things together. For me there was no fishing, no hunting, no little league.....the only time spent with dad was evening meals or getting punnished for something.

One day we were having one of our daily challenges. I clearly remember flat out telling him when I had kids I would never raise them the way he was raising us.

Then in ninth grade I met Nadine. She took my breath away, knocked my socks off, made my stomach do flip flops, all that stuff I had hated until then.

We started dating, survived ups and downs through high school and were still in love when we graduated. Then she wanted to get married. I wanted to go to college as most good jobs in that day required one.

Derailing either of our plans was the Viet Nam conflict. The government started the draft and as luck or no luck would have it my birth date came up number five. I couold let the Army draft me and go straight to Nam after basic training or join and give them my preferred duty locations hoping to avoid Nam.

Thus Nadine was the one going to college and I joined the Army.

Do not recommend long distance relationships. After four years together, as fate would have it, she found someone else her freshman year and I found someone else my second year in the Army. Elaine and I got married whileI was on Thanksgiving leave. Almost a year later our daughter was born.

Elaine was elated as she always wanted a girl. We tried again and I was hoping for a son so I could bond with him the way I had wanted to bond with my father.

After a second daughter the son I longed for finally arrived. But I was now overseas and did not even see him until he was a year and a half old.

After five years I opted for a stateside assignment. I did not want to miss any more of my children's milestones as they grew up. But not long after getting assigned stateside things began to go amuck.

First Elaine's parents were in a bad traffic accident. Her mom died instantly and her dad was in a coma on life support, That kept our family on edge for almost a year.

Our children found themselves playing second fiddle to grandpa. They did not seem to mind but Elaine and I both knew what they were missing. With me still on dutyand Elaine at the hospital with her father, they spent a lot of time with their Uncle Bob and Aunt Grace and cousins Carrie and Callie.

We did not know how the girls were treating our son, Justin, until almost a year later just before Elaine's father passed away. While we were visiting Bob and Grace, Aunt Grace stumbled upon the girls having Justin dressed up just like them, in a dress and make up as only little girls could apply.

The ladies thought it was cute but I was quite disturbed seeing my son dressed up like his sisters and cousins. I was more than disturbed but the ladies did not understand why it made me so mad. I tried to explain tha a father-son bonding experience did not include a dress up like ladies outing. That when I was a boy and wanted to do something with my dad he was always too busy. I had missed out on making those memories and I was not going to let my son miss them too.

Then I was asked a question that kind of blindsided me, taking me by surprise so that I was speechless for what weemed like an eternity.

"So how would you handle the situation if your son wanted to take ballet and one of your daughters wanted you to take her fishing or sigh her up for little league?"

In my mind I could not believe I had been asked that question.

"Maybe I am kind of afraid of turning into the same kind of parent as my dad."

"That doesn't really answer the question. If Justin asks you if he can take ballet would you say no?"

"Probably."

"And when he asked you why?"

By now I was getting a bit angry with this line of questioning.

"Because I said so!"

There it was. I was not that different from my own dad.