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She looked out the window at the blue jay as it
roosted on the bird feeder thinking how nice it would be to be a bird without a
worry. What would it truly be like to fly on the breeze with open wings screeching
an alert as one swooped in to steal bits of food? She watched a moment before
turning back to the kitchen counter to continue cutting vegetables. The knife slipped
easily through the hard carrot as she sliced them for the dinner meal. Next came
the onion, then the celery, the potato, and finally the meat. The stew would
simmer all day as she did her other chores throughout the house its aromatic
mixture of flavors drifting to every corner of the house. The lid placed
securely on top of the pan, she removed her apron and moved to the sink to
clean the dishes.

She found herself looking out the window again as
several wrens landed on the feeder to pick at the openings to pull the feed
from the container. A green-backed one bounced from post to post pecking at
every hole testing to see if any were different than any other. A chorus of
tweets and chirps accompanied the birds as they ate, one being replaced every
so often by another as the first flew away.

She closed her eyes trying to imagine what it was like
to be carried by tiny wings that seemed frail as a spiders web, an image of one
of the birds forming in her mind. She swayed side to side as she pictured
herself flying through the air dipping side to side catching the breeze under
extended wings. Her tedious daily chores suddenly disappeared as she imagined
herself as the bird as it flew upon the wind.

She jumped as the door thudded closed bringing her
back to reality. Taro slammed his books on the counter as he grabbed an orange
then walked from the kitchen upstairs. She watched him go perturbed that he had
interrupted her daydream, but she knew it was probably for the best considering
she hadn’t accomplished a thing. She glanced out the window one more time
before stirring the pot on the stove then entered the dining room.

She stopped in front of the double glass doors leading
to the porch which offered light into the large dining room, moving a cloth
across the window absently as she watched the birds at the feeder again. It had
all become second nature to her, the cleaning, the cooking, the children, the
laundry. She had become so used to day to day living she could do everything in
her sleep. She wanted something different, like the bird flying across the
field.

Maybe she would get a job, that would certainly break
up the monotony of day to day life but then it would leave things undone. Could
she take that chance and hope she could still do everything she did now or
should she simply continue to do what she was doing? The boys were almost
grown, they would be getting jobs of their own soon and moving out or going to
college so she would have plenty of free time, maybe she would wait. But if she
waited, an opportunity may pass her by to actually do something different with
her life.

Parker startled her as he plastered his face against
the outside of the glass window she was cleaning making her jump and put her
hand to her chest. He grabbed his stomach and laughed heartily pointing his
finger at her. She scowled at him, opened the door, and ordered him to take
care of the garbage. He started to argue with her, but when she pointed her
finger the direction of the back yard that was covered with leaves he smiled,
gathered the garbage on the porch, and took it to the dumpster. They were going
to be the death of her one of these days with their antics that scared her half
to death.  Life would truly be lonely
without them even for all their outlandish pranks.

A bird flew close to her head making her duck back
through the door and close it so she didn’t get bombarded. She stood and
watched again as the bird landed on the birdbath in the middle of the backyard.
It hopped down into the water dipping its head under it and fluttering its
wings after it dipped them in the water. Several others joined it repeating
what it was doing spreading water everywhere.

So many times she wished she could do things differently,
change things up, or not do anything at all, but then she would watch the birds
and think how much she would miss that little part of her day to day routine.
It was the one thing, besides her boys, that truly gave her the ability to
continue on doing what she needed to do. She had grown tired of doing all the
things required to survive, she wanted something different. She wanted to walk
out that door and never come back leaving it all behind to find something she
had never experienced before. She had taught the boys to take care of
themselves, they knew right from wrong they certainly could make it on their
own, or could they? That’s when she stopped, thought about it, and knew she
could never leave because her responsibilities kept her bound to stay.

She had grown tired of the day to day routine yet she
knew there was no way she could ever leave it behind. When she thought of it
she had two wonderful boys to keep her going, keep her looking forward to
another day, keep her wanting to continue doing her day to day routine. She
would keep her daydreams to herself and watch the birds out her windows
pretending to fly with them as she went through her day to day routine. They
would give her escape while she trudged through life helping her cope and
giving her release when she thought about flying with them.











September 03, 2019 00:43

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