“It’s the first day on the job Abby, don’t mess this one up like all of your other jobs.” my mom says as I put on my jacket.
“Okay, mom I’ll try,” I say grabbing my keys.
Outside the sun is shining. Perfect for pictures. My car is sitting there ready to go.
“Okay Bert, let’s go,” I say to my yellow Volkswagen Beatle.
Now just to be clear being a google viewfinder driver wasn’t my first choice. It’s only going to be temporary, or at least that is what I keep telling myself. I didn’t have much choice though I needed a job. My mom told me that I couldn’t continue to live with her if I didn’t at least have a job. It’s not like I haven’t tried this is my fifth job in the past two months. It’s not all my fault. Let me explain. My first job was at a coffee shop. I got fired because this guy complained about how I wasn’t nice enough and I didn’t smile at him when he came in. most people wouldn’t think that this was grounds for being fired. however, the coffee shop had a strict policy if you had one complaint about you, your out. My second job was as a waiter. I tripped and dropped two trays full of food and drinks. The worst part is most of it spilled on a very high-class customer. I was fired immediately. My third job was at a clothing store. Someone stole a bunch of clothing when I wasn’t paying attention. Okay, so that one was all my fault. At this time I would not like to get into my fourth job. It’s still too soon for that story.
So now it’s the first day of my fifth job. Oh, speaking of which I should probably get going. I pull up my route using the GPS on my phone.
“You’ve got this Abby,” I say to myself. “You have no reason to worry.” I start up Bert and I’m on my way.
“Turn right in 300 feet,” my GPS chimes in.
“All right, turning right. See this is going great,” I say. As you can see my first day is off to a great start until…
Is that a guy standing in the middle of the road? Oh, shoot there is a guy on the road. I slam on my brakes to avoid hitting him. He runs around to the passenger side door. He raps on the window. I roll it down.
“What do you want?” I ask annoyed.
“Please I need to get to the hospital. can you please give me a ride?” he pleads.
“What? can’t you call an uber or something,” I say really annoyed now.
“Please help me, my wife is going into labor and I can’t get an uber,” he says. Cars are honking at me now.
“Okay, fine get in,” I say. As soon as the door is closed I’m off again. “Which hospital?” I ask.
“Mercy point,” he says as he buckles his seat belt.
“Turn left,” my GPS chimes. I turn it off and swing off to the right.
“I am so getting fired,” I mutter.
“What was that?” the guy asks.
“Oh nothing,” I say. We spend the next eight minutes in silence. As soon as the car comes to a stop he jumps out. I head back to my route and get back to my job.
“It’s ok Abby it was just a quick detour, I’m sure I won’t get fired,” I say. I stop at a red light. A lady is raping on my passenger window.
“Oh come on, not again,” I whine. I roll down my window. “Can I help you?” I ask.
“Can you please give me a ride? I’ve asked like five other people who said no. I have a really important job interview and my car broke down.” she says
“Have you tried an uber?” I ask. Even though I was pretty sure I already knew the answer.
“I… um… I can’t afford an uber that is why I really need to make this job interview,” she says.
“Okay fine, get in I say,” I say. She climbs in and I’m off again. “Where is your interview?” I ask.
“It’s at the coffee shop on Maine street, the name of it is slipping out of my mind right now I’m so nervous,” she says. “Do you know the one?”
“Yes I do,” I say.
“Turn left in 400 feet,” chimes my GPS. I turn it off again and keep going straight. It takes us around five minutes to get to the coffee shop.
“Well good luck,” I say.
“Thank you so much,” she says getting out.
Okay, just another quick detour, back to the route. Just breathe Abby breathe. I’m sure you’re not going to get fired. I keep on driving. I’m nearing the end of my route. I’m almost done. I stop at another red light.
Suddenly someone is opening my car door and gets in.
“What are you doing!” I yell.
“I need your help,” she says. “There is this creepy guy that has been following me for… oh, the lights green.” she pauses.
“Oh,” I say stepping on the gas.
“Anyway…” she continues, “I only want to get home to my apartment but it’s another ten minutes if I continue walking and this guy has been following me for the last few blocks,”
“So you decided to get into a car with a random stranger?” I ask.
“You looked nice, and I was scared,” she says as if it’s a normal thing to do. “Oh, and by the way my name is Maria,”
“Nice to meet you, Maria, my name is Katrina. Where is your apartment building?”
“It’s on west third street,” she says. And that is how I end up on my third detour. Soon enough we are on west third street.
“This is the one,” Maria says. “Thanks, Abby,” she says getting out. I start going again. You know what I’m probably getting fired so I might as well some food, I am so hungry because of the stress of trying not to get fired.
I head to the nearest drive-through and get a burger and fries. Then I finally finish my route as I eat my fries. Then I head home. As soon as I get inside my phone rings. Oh crap, it’s my boss.
“Hello,” I say in a cheerful voice.
“Hello Abby, I am sorry to inform you but we have to let you go. It took you over an hour longer than it should have to finish your route, you kept going off track, and you stopped to get food while working.” my boss says.
“Okay I understand,” I say.
“Bye,” I say.
Well, I guess that that is the story of how I got fired from my fifth job in the past two months. At least I have that burger to consol me. Maybe I should become an Uber driver.