Pride, Justice, and Revenge

It was just as she thought.

As soon as she became a “prisoner of war”, she knew that her enemy, hiding behind a misplaced sense of “honor” (or perhaps just out of a heavy conscience that he’d never admit), would treat her well and fairly – and so it was. The place she now found herself in wasn’t exactly a luxury inn, but it wasn’t a stereotypical prison cell either, where her best company would surely be common rats.

Plus, it wasn’t all that bad being alone – it was remarkably easy for her to just lose herself in her own thoughts, and here she had plenty of time to do it. There was something comforting about being completely alone (the knowledge that her captor would never kill her certainly helped). She’d grow bored of it eventually, sure, but until then…

As she digressed in her own mind, the room was suddenly taken over by this presence. Though they were enemies on the battlefield, she found impossible to not admit the aura of sheer respect that radiated from him. He’d take over every room he entered, with unmatched confidence.

“Have they brought your food? Was it to your satisfaction?”, he asked her.

“What’s your plan here?”, she began talking. “Come here, do some inspiring speech and convert me to your ‘cause’? Even seeing myself as fairly open-minded, I don’t think…”

“It’s clear to me that’s never going to happen. I’m just here to have a conversation.”

“Talk? I can hardly see any kind of common ground between us.”

“Surely you can see the benefit of understanding the side of your enemy”, and here he quickly added he found it regrettable they had to call each other that, “try and see the situation from both angles.”

It seemed to her both a sensible suggestion, and utter madness. Gaining empathy for them during the middle of a civil war sounds like a recipe for an unbeatable inner moral conflict. And yet…

“All right then. The only thing I care to know is: why?”

Pretty much everyone else didn’t even bother with such question, as it seemed fairly obvious. Why else would the commander of the empire’s elite force kill the emperor and pull off a coup? Power, it had to be it. But she knew that wasn’t the case. It seemed so… mundane – bordering on cliché - for this man to want nothing but just “power”.

She asked it expecting him to dodge the question by saying “now that’s a story for another time”, or some other such platitude. And yet, he sat down in front of her, made himself comfortable (as comfortable as possible at least), and took out his characteristic ring from his finger. Such magical rings were common, but only as souvenirs – to actually use one as a battle tool, without possessing the gift of magic, was remarkably difficult, taking years of training, practice and just sheer physical and mental conditioning. He was the only one she ever met who accomplished such a feat. When he started staring intently at such ring, she knew immediately that this little trinket was somehow a core part of his identity.

“Many years ago, I was just a dreamer. I wanted to rise through the military ranks of the empire, and by doing that, help make the world a better place, even if just slightly. Until my dreams were crushed.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

He didn’t miss home as he thought he would.

His plan was to spend a while experiencing the world, before he began his training and studies properly. Such travels took him to this rather pleasant town, in the outskirts of the nearest metropolis. Well, “pleasant” only in parts – while the place itself was very inviting, the locals weren’t very much open to outsiders, and particularly not one that looked like him – the looks of a “hero” in the most banal sense of the word. His attempts at buying supplies, or resting at an inn were met with either indifference, obviously bloated prices, or just plain silence. Even assuming they were shy and took a while to open up, this cold treatment seemed strange and rude to him, but it was pointless focusing on it, so he just shrugged it off. With no other option, he just decided to accept the obviously too expensive stay at the inn.

As he lay down, unable to sleep as he traced his plans for the next years of his life, he started hearing sounds. It seemed familiar but… He didn’t even try to fight his curiosity, and got up to investigate. Outside, he found a young girl practicing magic.

He had lay eyes on magic before, watching aspiring military mages practicing, but this was his first time seeing someone so young do it. The gift of magic had always fascinated him, and he had no problem admitting to himself that he was envious of them. Seeing someone so young (he guessed she couldn’t be older than ten) was both surreal and mesmerizing – the spells were clearly raw and “unfinished”, and yet more wild and ferocious at the same time. She finally noticed him, and her reaction was just to stare at him with an expression that he couldn’t decide if it was fear or just surprise.

“I’m sorry that I startled you.”

“Nah, it’s fine”, she said after a few seconds. “You really shouldn’t sneak up on people at midnight though.”

It was the nicest interaction he had with someone since arriving in this town, so he was pleased to continue the conversation.

“You’re very young for a magic user, I’m impressed.”

“It’s a very basic spell, and I’m really bad at it.”

She was legitimately puzzled at his reaction. Such a mundane reaction to magic like this could only mean that she had seen this pretty much since she was born, so it quickly became clear to him the reason of all the animosity – this was a village of mages. And the kind of ones that were exiled.

----------------------------------------------------------------

“I began talking more to the young girl. It was quite pleasant having conversations with her, she displayed a confidence through her mannerisms that was unusual for such a young age. I ended up staying longer than planned on the town, as I became quite comfortable in it.”

“A town full of both full-fledged and potential mages like that, how did the emperor never did anything with it?”

The previous emperor wasn’t exactly a sensible or reasonable man. A cruel ruler, he was more preoccupied with increasing his empire’s military power, and crushing anything that could resemble a threat to him, than the actual well-being of his citizens. The day he died wasn’t exactly a sad day.

“The nearest metropolis cast a shadow over the little town, but the locals were good at laying low, until…. Until I came along.”

He stopped for a moment to collect his thoughts.

“I was a bit naïve and, in my travels to the metropolis, ended up commenting too much to the wrong person. Word spread around about it, and suddenly the town was the target of a siege. I gathered the locals, and convinced them to fight for their land, their freedom. The town was completely ruined.”

“Before it all happened, this ring was forged for me. One of the mages did it.”, he continued, still staring at his cursed prize, “It is all that is left of them.”

“You actually led a small revolt against imperial forces? How were not you convicted of treason or something worse?”

“The locals convinced me to run away. And, to my shame, I did, like a coward. But that was the day I realized how unfair and broken the whole system is. I vowed to change everything from the inside… and here we are.”

There was a moment of silence, as she wanted to be sure his tale was over.

“Am I supposed to feel sorry or sympathetic for this story?”

“You asked for my reasons, and I gave them. How you react to them is up to you entirely. I have always wondered what would have happened if I never went into that town, never talked about it, never convinced them to fight back…”

“So you decided to blame the entire ‘system’, and kill an emperor that wasn’t in power when that happened, throwing the continent into a civil war?”

“Make no mistake, the late emperor wasn’t innocent. You don’t get to this level of power without you yourself becoming corrupted. He may not be responsible for the tragedy I personally witnessed, but I assure you he was personally responsible for a number of disaster that have certainly struck innocent citizens all around.”

“Isn’t it exhausting living your whole life with such an antagonistic view of the world? Even if you succeed at your little personal mission, the town, the little girl, they’re not coming back. They’re gone. We all have your burdens, and it seems to me you’re not willing to carry yours alone – you need to make all of us carry it with you.”

“Yes, I imagine it's very easy for you to take such a position. The captain of the imperial armada! Related by blood to the late emperor! I can't think of many positions more confortable than that.”

“Yes, I had an easy life, but that doesn't prevent me from feeling empathy. I agree with you, it’s a shitty world we live in. But here’s the unfortunate truth: it’s the one we have. Going through heaven and hell, starting a war, all of this, such an inhumane effort that will surely lead to very little change, comparatively. And at this point, the lines become incredibly blurry. What we have isn't exactly good, but it's what we got. We don't live in an ideal world, sadly, and we have to make do with what we have.”

“So your plan is what? To sit back, and accept everything because ‘it’s what we have’? Or maybe it’s ‘better than the alternatives’? The most consistent ink in the pages of history is blood. I have long since learned that violence is unfortunately a necessity in such situations. You said it yourself: we do not live in an ideal world.”

“Yes, I could do more. I should do more. But at least I'm honest about my complacency. You hide behind a facade of 'justice' and 'freedom', when all you really want is just to feel better about yourself. I don’t know what you ultimately expect, to be perfectly honest. You think you’ll feel better once every remnant of the ‘system’ is pulverized? What happenes then, do you take the power? I assume you’ll then be corrupted by such power, according to your own beliefs. Or will you give it to the ‘people’? I’m sure that the average citizen will be able to rule the country very well. Just admit to yourself you’re just after petty revenge.”

Upon hearing that, he got up, not angry – it was clear he was more disappointed than anything.

“It's unfortunate that you feel that way.” As he started leaving, he stopped and turned around to complement. “In a different reality we would have been allies. Friends, even.”

“In this one, we are not. Unfortunately.”

“Yes. Unfortunately."

He left his prisoner behind, very aware of the huge weight he felt upon his shoulder. His heart’s desire was close, and he would not back away.

She couldn’t help but feel a little sorry for him.