Amicus Curiae

"There is this constant belief in the courtroom that anyone who is able to serve justice is a hero. But the reality is that we're not supposed to be the superheroes. The heroes are the people who support our clients outside of the courtroom. That doesn't mean it has to stop there. We will always be known as the amicus curiae."

That was the most gratifying speech that my now-fiancé, Marianne Clint, had made towards me on the first day of our legal briefings. I never even stopped thinking about that Latin phrase. Out of all the phrases in legal jargon, amicus curiae would always be my favorite phrase. Friend of the court. Friend for life.

Marianne joked with me that I had never thought that another individual would understand me in more ways than one. We both worked at Mayhem and Tucci, LLP. The office was a widened space filled with jammed files, spacious hallways that had mahogany floors, and a sleek stairwell that was adjacent to my own local office. I worked in the field of criminal law; Mary was able to do cases involving financial fraud. Sometimes it even amazed me that I was able to keep my sense of humor intact in this dark, crazy world.

“Your definition of fun is making Parks and Rec references while shoving cheesy fries down from Hooters.”

Marianne was the reason people believed in the power of love. People like me.  Despite the fact that we were the most serious lawyers on the case, that didn’t mean that there was no funny bone throughout our entire skeletal system. For the longest time, I held the strongest belief that anyone could find their soulmate. While some found that to be an outdated ideal, I still believed in the power of romantic comedies and Disney films.  There was no shortage of pranks that came out of the both of us. Much to the horror of our loved ones, we were able to contain that essential competitive streak when it came to having fun.

Last summer, we traveled with Marianne’s family to Boston to head to Fenway Park.

“You’re going to give someone a stroke, Bonnie.” Those words were from my stern yet compassionate father, Dale Tracy. While he liked to pretend that he didn’t do the same pranks onto his college buddies back in Yale, every now and then, I would see him smirk whenever another victim had taken fall to our hilarious antics.

Here’s the best part: my boss, Jack Walter Marcus, whose last name has had many connections to every law firm out there, was also part of the pranks. He didn’t always want to choose favorites, but out of all of his employees, I knew that I was on top of his Close Friends list. Everyone sometimes joked with us that we should have ended up as a couple. We were always in sync on the traditional company prank. Unlike those depressing jobs that my other friends had, my work environment was a place where everyone treated each other like family. But even families had their share of laughter.

While I loved my fiancé dearly, I wanted to do the most epic of all pranks. What always surprised me about pranking others was that people tended to be so gullible. Three months ago, Frank thought he was going to open a can of soda, but really, it was filled with spiders. Thankfully, he didn’t have arachnophobia.

“Bonnie, come here.” There he was. Jack was wearing a crisp suit with white cuffs, a blue tie, and brown loafers. He looked more like a stockbroker than a lawyer in his eponymous law firm. I walked towards him and got closer to his presence. There was no wonder that all of the women, myself included, always got lost in his ocean eyes. What can I say? I view life like a rom-com, people.

Before he chatted with me, he looked around to make sure no one was listening, case in point, Marianne.

“I don’t see what your issue is. You know that my wife is always working with different issues of credit card lawsuits, identity fraud, and the like.”

“Hopefully, she’ll continue to like you after you pull this prank on her. God, I’m getting nervous. Maybe you should the prank over with me one more time.”

I sighed. For all of his wonderful qualities, Jack could sometimes be a Nervous Nelly.

“This is the game plan. We’re going to pretend that one of her former clients, Ida Wanda, has given her a birthday cake. We all know that Marianne wasn’t born in April, right?”

He nodded. “Yes, her birthday is July 28^th?”

“Yeah, yeah. Now listen. The cake will appear to be good to eat.” I licked my lips to emphasize the taste of it. Boy, I could really use a lunch break. “You and I, along with the rest of the company, will yell “Surprise!” to Marianne and then we throw the cake in her face!”

Jack stared at me in awe. It took everything in me not to blush. Sometimes I wanted to hold his precious face forever, but then I remember that I’m about to be someone’s wife.

“For a second there, I thought you were going to have a more legitimate, complicated plan that would involve paintball guns and bouncy balls released into every law office of the Massachusetts area.” He smiled at me.

“God, Marianne, you are a hoot!”

We both laughed together. For a moment, it didn’t seem as if we were boss and employee, but two people that had met each other and become friends for many years, the ties of a deep friendship forever indebted through a platonic friendship.

I immediately pushed those thoughts out of my head.

Damn it, Tracy. Flirting with the boss may seem tempting, but you need to know when to take things seriously. Stay focused on pranking the woman you love with all of your heart!

The men and women in my life were special. Alas, I did have a reputation for not wanting to settle down. In a way, I wanted to prove those haters wrong. I didn’t like it when people told me what to do though. I wanted to be a free spirit, a rebel, live life as if I could die tomorrow. Then again, I would die laughing. So it was officially settled. On April 1, 2021, at 5:30 p.m., we would lure Marianne inside of the office where all the boys loved to joke about the New York Yankees losing to the Boston Red Sox. Before I knew it, it was already nighttime.

We all gathered inside of the office as Jack and I had planned to do earlier. I saw Marianne with her yellow blazer. That wasn’t the only thing that gave me her attention. Her gorgeous smile still made me weak in the knees. It made me so weak that I had to hold onto the counter for additional support.

I sauntered towards her and gave her a quick peck on her left cheek.

She was already giggling. Wait until she had a hoot with this prank I perfectly concocted with Mayhem.

“I can’t believe that you did all of this for me. But you know that I’m a Leo, not an Aries.” She folded her arms while cocking her head at the side. God, she looked so sexy when she did that.

I grabbed the microphone and started to speak. Not to brag, but making speeches in front of crowds was one of my many talents.

“Even so, Aries and Leo are still fire signs next to Sagittarius. Anyway, the whole company knows that you always go above and beyond to help the vulnerable clients that come to our firm every single day. It’s a lot of hard work, but you do it with so much positivity. Babe, you’re an inspiration.”

Marianne stood in front of me. She was speechless, tears in her eyes, happy ones at that, her blue manicured nails shining as her hand was placed on her heart. She mouthed the words, “I love you.” I replied them back to her with just as much sentimentality as I could muster.

“So, we have a cake just for you. We know how much you love chocolate, so what better way to celebrate than an actual chocolate cake?” I displayed the scrumptious desert in front of us as if I were on The Price is Right with Bob Barker.

Marianne was beaming with delight. It was such a wonderful way for the both of us to end this amazing night. We all took turns sharing pieces of the cake. It was so delicious. It even had blueberries added into it.

As we sat down, I turned around to see someone coughing. Maybe the food went down the wrong pipe. Tommy, the man that worked in HR, rushed over to pat one of our coworkers on the back. I guess he needed to work on being more self-aware, because the next thing I know, he punched Tommy back, allowing him to fall down.

I was stunned. The food that the coworker had choked on was out of his throat and on the mahogany floor.

“Did anyone not tell me that there was going to be blueberries served? I’m severely allergic to him.”

Jack hung his head down in shame. “Oh, Chuck, we’re so sorry. We had no idea…”

“Save it!” Chuck had a bad temper. We all knew not to get on his bad side. It was too late, though. Chuck was already planning to take us to court.

“I’m going to sue your firm for gross negligence. Maybe I could even sue for emotional distress.”

“That’s insane!” I shouted. “It was a simple goal. Our initial plan was to have Marianne have the cake on her face and yell “April Fools!”

“Whoa, Bonnie….are you saying that you were trying to choke me with a food allergy too?

My quick wrath of rage was immediately filled with regret. I switched my whole body around to interact with the love of my life. “No, Mary-Babe- I would never want to hurt you.”

“I find that hard to believe. Between someone almost dying from a food they’re not able to consume and me having no tolerance for anything with gluten, I would say that this is the most careless prank that you ever pulled, Tracy. I’m going to get an Uber home. I can’t be around you right now.”

My mouth couldn’t form words. I attempted to reach out to touch Marianne one more time, but she put her hand up to stop me. The look in her eyes was so menacing. I never saw her look so angry before in my life. I even felt angry at myself. I didn’t want anyone to see me crying. If there was anything this cruel world taught me, it was that crying in the workplace was completely unprofessional. It didn’t matter that we hadn’t been working. I would not make myself any more of an embarrassment than I already did.

I opened up my iPhone to see if Marianne had sent any texts. I knew it was wrong, but I left her a voicemail. “Mary, sweetie, please don’t be mad. How was I supposed to know that Chuck would choke on the blueberries? There’s a form that says you need to fill out a form. You know that I would never do anything to harm you. This relationship is very special to me. I love you. Please call me back. Or don’t. I don’t want to impose onto your boundaries.”

I hung up the phone. I was really craving a cigarette, but smoking one would make me cry even more. Besides, I promised my parents and Marianne that I would never smoke one ever again after my Aunt Carrie died of lung cancer when she had entered her thirties.  

All I knew was that Marianne no longer saw me as her friend of the court. I felt horrible. She and Chuck both saw me as public enemy #1. I wasn’t a person who had a well-intentioned prank gone awry. I was a person who was treated with as much thoughtlessness as my clients dealing with criminals were. As much as I didn’t want to play the blame game, I also didn’t want to get into victim mode either. I wanted to do what I could to get Marianne back. That would never happen, though. I was now starting to realize that pranks can be fun, but not at the expense of someone’s safety. How could I not see that as a lawyer? It would be like a doctor not washing his hands to do surgery when that’s Medical 101. The best thing for now would be to give Marianne space. To her, I was officially a hostis humani generis. Translation: I was now the enemy of mankind.