A Rough Start to the New Year

We fell in love on December tenth two years ago Allison. What has happened between now and then? Right now you’re tied up to a chair. You’re screaming in my head about how I am the sick man who ruined your life. How I was the one who pushed you to murder our unborn child without you even telling me it existed.  

You say that I stalked you in that last argument, that I was wrong for breaking into your house multiple times to install cameras that you were never supposed to find out about, by the way. You blame me for your boyfriend moving away and breaking up with you because you “cheated” on him. All of the things I did, faking those pictures of you cheating, installing those cameras, and convincing dear old Alec to move away was because I loved you. But you refuse to see that I did all of this to protect you because you don’t know what’s best for you.

 I installed those cameras because I didn’t want you to hurt yourself. Before me, you used to cut yourself and even attempted to commit suicide. But now when I finally had you and you were mine you couldn’t go around killing or hurting yourself anymore. 

But after I had you I still wasn’t enough for you, you cheated and I found out. We fought and you refused to see that you were the one in the wrong insisting I had invaded your privacy. 

What happened to no secrets Allison, wasn’t that our motto when we first got together. 

When I found out about the child you insisted you killed it because you didn’t want me to hurt it. This was also after you found out about the cameras and the bent truths I hid behind and that’s when things got violent. You wouldn’t shut up, your words were bullets crashing into my brain one by one. I couldn’t take it anymore and something came over me and I hit you.

Thankfully it only knocked you out and didn’t kill you, I don't think I could live with myself if I had killed you.

So, now you are tied up in a chair in the middle of an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of New York City. I can feel the draft of the breeze coming through the broken windows. It is freezing. 

I have a fire going in the middle of the room right in front of you. Hopefully, it is keeping you warm, but not burning you. I was hiding in the shadows of the open space. It was also new years eve you had been on your way to a party. I canceled for you, told your friends that you were sick. 

The shadows of the flames were in the middle of a jubilant dance across your high cheekbones and soft skin. Your eyelashes were casting low shadows across your freckles. The mousy brown hair that was usually pulled up in a low bun was hanging loose down and around your shoulders. The ringlets were beautiful, but I was biased because I loved it when your hair was down.

Then as if on cue, you woke up and of course, immediately you started screaming for help. 

“Allison”, I whispered walking out of the shadows.

“J-James?”

I was in full view and when she saw me she started screaming. She was begging for me to help her as if I was the one who she should be scared of.

“Allison, why are you screaming? you know that I would never hurt you. Also, we are in the middle of nowhere, no need to strain that pretty little voice no one will hear you.” Allison was a singer I really meant it when I said don’t strain your voice.

“James please let me go ...I ...I..won’t tell anyone what you did or that you tried to hurt me. I love you James and I-I know that you love me too and ne-never meant to-to hurt me.”

“Baby, my girl, lucky, you know that I can’t do that.”

“W-why James if you loved me you’d l-let me go.”

“I can’t beautiful” As I whispered this I walked over and touched your cheek. You went insane, all I wanted to do was show you how much I love you. You whipped around and you bit my hand. It was instinctive I slapped you across the face.

How stupid was I this made you go haywire?  You were spitting on me, saying that you hoped I rotted in Hell. ? You were wishing that I died a very slow and very painful death because of all of the pain I have caused you. 

I couldn't believe you thought you were the victim here. I should have never fallen in love with you, you are a selfish woman who wants no one to be happy until you are. 

I was naive when we fell in love, I still remember the first time you walked into my bakery in Los Angeles. Your eyes were full of hope you were a dreamer, you thought you had a chance in the cutthroat land known as Los Angeles. 

I remember the scrunchie that held your hair back into that sleek ponytail. You had on a sweater that compliments your figure with ripped jeans. You really cared about your appearance I could tell as soon as I saw you. You took things to heart I could tell because of how you carried yourself. 

You came into a bakery and all you ordered was a drink, but you immediately flirted with me. You said that your name was Allison and that you were an aspiring Singer-songwriter. Allison, you convinced me to take the rest of the day off and hang out with you. But then all you talked about for the rest of the day was your douche of a boyfriend named Lance. Lance was a video and music producer who all he did was take advantage of you. 

So, I took care of the small problem of Lance by making a job offer open up in Italy and of course, Lance wanted to be single for the “Italian Babes”. You came to me that night sobbing and I consoled you. I was always there for you in your moments of tragedy. 

However, in this current moment, you were screaming saying awful things. The large rock that I had been tossing back and forth between my hands whilst deep in thought had left my hands and smashed in the front of your face as the countdown for the new year started. 

Ten.

No, I didn’t just kill you.

Nine.

My hands are covered in your blood.

Eight.

Your lifeless body was in my arms.

Seven. 

Those eyes once full of hopes and dreams were now dead.

Six. 

There’s no way that I had just done this to you.

Five.

I needed to bury you and leave.

Four. 

I packed a shovel in my car just in case I would need it.

Three.

How would I cover all of my tracks?

Two.

I would never hear that pretty little voice again.

One. 

This was an awful start to the new year.