Deception in the Midstream of Things

Trigger Warning- this short story contains Some Violence and Mild Innuendos regarding Prostitution.

Deception in the Midstream of Things

Part One- Stress Can Make You Do Crazy Things.

It would not rain, and Pat wanted to take out his boat so badly for work that he broke down while having pizza with his ex-wife. The pizza cost him twenty American dollars. There went the rest of his last paycheck, and he could not eat more than two bites without getting nauseous. He never had an appetite these days. His gallbladder was removed with hopes it would help, but it did not help.

Part Two- As He Faded…

Pat had written two novels. He did most of his writing on his boat while he shuttled low-paying customers down the river. It was not easy work, and as he became more and more ill, he desired to retire, but that would never happen.

He coughed, and he coughed. Then he gagged on some blood. It was thick, and he could not hack it up. This was not good. Blood signaled cancer, but he was perfectly cleared from recent screenings. The doctors had no answers, and Pat had no money for any further tests. It will all be okay, he told himself. It will all be okay.

Part Three- Back to Dinner.

Pat’s ex-wife, Melissa, was working on writing a forward to Pat’s second edition of his last book. She knew she would never get to write a third. This made her sad, but she needed to be tough as Pat worked his way through his final days.

Melissa stored away the rest of the pizza, and was shocked to hear thunder off in the distance.

“Pat! Thunder!” She cried out. Pat instantly stopped crying, and he leapt to his feet. He raced to the front porch, and nothing. No lightning. Just a few rumbles in the distance.

“Drat!” He yelled, but then he got himself together as he always did.

Part Four- Then it Happened!

The landline rang.

“Who at this hour of night…” Melissa said, but Pat had picked up the phone before she could get the rest of her words out.

“Hello. Pat speaking” he said.

“The name is Jeff. I’m calling for services for tomorrow at nine. First thing in the morning. Needing to get away right on time. Can you help?” He asked.

“Yeah, of course, but we need rain, and lots of it.”

“Well, good news! I’m a few blocks away from the river, and it’s been raining here for ten minutes. If it keeps it up- we got a deal?”

“Absolutely! I’ll keep an eye on the weather, and…” Then Jeff suddenly hung up, and Pat wondered if Jeff had got his information off the flyer board downtown, but he said he was a few blocks up the river. How could this be, he thought.

Part Five- Row, Row, Row Your Boat!

Eight in the morning came too soon, and Pat’s alarm blared disappointingly. There was blood on his pillow, but he dismissed it. There was no time to worry about that. Money. He needed money, and was not able to mention the cost. Stupidly, he put “NEGOTIABLE,” on his flyer along with the phrase, “WILL TAKE YOU ANYWHERE!”

Pat showered, and shaved, and put on his best work clothes. Then the phone rang.

“Hello. Pat speaking.” He said when he answered.

“Jeff here. I’m outside. Would you like a lift?”

“I’ll be right there!” Pat grabbed his work bag, and raced out to meet Jeff. He lost his breath when he saw that he would be riding in a black, new limousine. Chauffeur and all- with are bar to boot!

Then there was Jeff. He stepped out to greet Pat dressed far too formal for a boat ride. Luckily, Pat had hats, and life jackets on the boat. Perhaps putting, “NEGOTIABLE,” on the flyer was not a bad idea after all. He got in the limousine, and Jeff followed.

“A drink?” Jeff asked.

“Surprise me,” Pat replied with a grin. “So, where am I dropping you off at today?”

“Depends.”

Pat was taken aback.

“It depends? Cause we got enough rain to…”

“We’ll see. Did you see the partial rainbow this morning? It was nice.”

Pat could not figure this guy out. He wondered what to have as an asking price for his services. The most he had ever received was two-hundred American dollars from a wealthy woman who, like Jeff, had overdressed for the boat trip. He took a deep breath, and asked,

“Two-hundred, okay?”

“We’ll see.” Jeff replied. Then they reached their destination. Pat kept the boat pristine. It took a lot out of him, but his father had left him the boat, so he took good care of it.

“We’ll have to leave our drinks. No alcohol on board, you see?” Pat said.

“Sure.”

They both boarded the boat, and Pat asked, once they departed,

“You got a light by chance?”

“Sure.” Jeff handed him a lighter. Pat lit up a cigarette, and off they were on a nice breezy morning.

Part Six- What Are the Chances?

“Ah man! My pants split,” said Jeff. “Happens a lot at my size. Too many cheeseburgers.” He said with a laugh. “Wouldn’t happen to have any sweatpants or pajamas on board that I might fit into?”

“Check in the room downstairs. Should be something.”

Jeff found some old pajama pants that had cigarette burns on them, but he did not mind. He returned to the deck, and discarded his pants into the river which upset Pat.

“Sir, I could’ve disposed of those.”

“It’s alright.” Jeff said as he sat, and lit a cigar. “I have many more pairs at home.”

Part Seven- Her.

As they approached the closest pier, Jeff saw his friend standing on the edge ready to be picked up. She was right on time. She, too, was overdressed in a stunning, green dress. She would have to remove her shiny, black stilettos if she wanted to board Pat’s boat, and she did.

“Nice pants,” she said as she smirked at Jeff.

“I’m Pat.” Pat said. “I don’t know how to put this, but I have to charge extra for multiple passengers.”

“It’s okay, man. Calm down. I’m good for it. Totally good for it. Mind if I give her a private tour?” Jeff asked with a giggle.

“Go ahead.” He replied as he lit another cigarette. Then Jeff, and his lady friend, went downstairs. They did not return for quite some time.

Part Eight- Her Exit.

When the two mysterious customers arrived on deck, Jeff said,

“Thank you.” To the woman with a big smile. She just laughed, and exited the boat, and disappeared into the morning fog.

Part Nine- Chatty Patty.

“So, what do you do, or what did you do?” Pat asked Jeff.

“This and that. You know. Sometimes I hunt.”

This caused Pat to perk up. His father used to hunt, and he was pretty good at it. Pat was not.

“You a good shot?” He asked.

“Pretty good.”

“Not me. I’m lousy. Too bad you didn’t bring your gun. Plenty to shoot along the river.”

Then Jeff took his Glock out of his inside jacket pocket, and laid it on the table.

“Nice. So, what do you hunt?” Asked Pat- a question that had a surprising answer.

“Oh, this and that.” Jeff said.

“Hmm.” Was all Pat could think to say until he saw a leopard wandering the riverbank. “What about that leopard? Would you shoot it?”

“Nah, too skinny,”

“What was your greatest kill?”

“Couldn’t say. Never weighed the fella.”

Part Ten- Trick or Treat.

“My wallet. It’s in my pants pocket. Hand it to me will you?”

“Your wallet was in your pants? You tossed it, remember?” Pat asked shocked. He then coughed up blood, and some got in Jeff’s face, jacket, and on the cigarette burnt pajama pants. Jeff gasped.

“Disgusting! I ain’t paying.”

“How can you without your wallet? Sir, I do need payment for the trip.”

This was not Jeff’s first rodeo. He returned his Glock to his pocket, and said,

“Let’s play a game.”

“Well, since you got the gun, do I have a choice?”

“Ha!” Responded Jeff. “How about you pull over at the next pier. You see how far you can run, and I can see how far I can shoot. Without my glasses- it will be quite the challenge. Leopards? Easy. Humans? Fun. He then removed the Glock from his pocket, and said,

“Three, two, one!” Then Jeff fired directly at Pat just to scare him. It worked. Pat steered the boat into the trees immediately, thus causing Jeff to be hit by limbs at a fast pace as they were in the midstream of the river. The rapids were high, and the boat was tossing out of control. Then Pat grabbed a rope. He literally lassoed Jeff’s thick neck, and he pulled hard with all his strength. This crazy customer was going down, so Pat grabbed Jeff’s choking, heavy body, and tossed it in the rapids. That was that, he thought. I will be okay now- I hope. Melissa, he wanted her back. He needed her back.

Part Eleven - She and Melissa.

As Pat passed the port where the woman once stood before, he saw her again. He saw the woman who had had Jeff in his bedroom. She stood on the pier as if she needed one last time with Jeff, but Pat thought, No way! He drove right past her, and he made it to his port at noon where he felt freed from the gentlemen that was not that much of a gentleman at all. He called Melissa.

“Can we talk? Can you pick me up at the port’s bar?” He asked. She agreed, and Pat reached into his jean’s back pocket where he pulled out Jeff’s wallet that he had pickpocketed from Jeff before Jeff ever got on the boat. He thumbed through the cash. He had plenty to pay for drinks and further medical tests. He was set. At least, for the rest of the month. Pat had picked Jeff’s pockets, and Jeff never knew it. He never knew who he was up against. Pat breathed a huge sigh of relief, and choked on the air he inhaled inward. He choked and choked. Blood. He coughed up lots of blood.

Part Twelve- Out of Nowhere.

”Where’s Jeff?!” The woman in the green dress asked as she showed up out of nowhere on the trail into town. She caught him. There she was. Still beautiful. Still wearing that stunning, green dress. Pat was in a hurry to get to the bar to see Melissa. He went on foot down confusing paths that he knew all too well.

“Walk with me? Take your shoes off. I’m in a hurry.”

She agreed.

“I dropped him off five piers down. He won’t be back here today unless he offers me lots and lots of money. He never paid.”

”Not unlike him. Where is he? He owes me money, too. I face eviction.”

Pat should have let it go, but he asked,

“How much?” Then he took out Jeff’s wallet. “A hundred bucks oughta do it, right?”

”That’s Jeff’s wallet! I know it! That’s his. Oh, tell me where he is.” She panicked. Then Pat got an awful idea. As they approached some ruins on the pathway to the bar, he grabbed a brick, and smashed in the woman’s skull. He removed her stilettos, and her dress. The ensemble had to be worth eighteen-hundred American dollars. It was still pristine and beautiful. Not one drop of blood, but then Pat hacked up blood all over its left sleeve, and he wiped his mouth with it, and he decided to hide her, and her belongings under what used to be an atrium to an old hotel. It was easy. No one ever visited that part of the ruins, and he only got blood on his shirt.

Part Thirteen- Let’s take a Drive.

Melissa met Pat at the bar, but she would not go inside.

”You look awful! Where is your shirt? Let me take you home.” She said to Pat. “You can drink at the house. We can’t go in with you looking like this.”

He was happy to see Melissa, but he did not respond. He went right into that bar and got a dressed tequila double. Refreshing! Then he returned to Melissa after paying.

“I’m ready. Take me home. Can we go through the mountains? I don’t want to see a boat or water. Just trees.” It began to rain, and this time Pat did not care. A partial rainbow appeared at the end of the shower. He thought of Jeff, and he said to Melissa, “Did you see the partial rainbow? It was nice.” Then he hacked up more blood. He felt like some went straight into his lungs, and that was it for Pat.