"This way please!" said an aircrew member , as she ushered
Brooke to the waiting lounge. After a fourteen hour lay over , the foyer seemed swarmed with people who couldn't wait to reach home . Right in front of her was a class of students,in a vigorous discussion about their excursion. She passed by them and without noticing,entered into a confraternity of smokers . Brooke paused a second to push away the cloud of smoke blinding her sight. Her left ear picked up the confusion of architects and her right, the clashing of economists. She took a step towards the area beside the restrooms noticing that a bench there was not occupied. But a company of actors, well known, stormed over and settled there before she could.
Brooke stood there, her eyes hunting for a decent seat.
There , to the extreme corner, at the end of the bench, she noticed a boy. He seemed busy, indulging in the book that had his eyes captivated. She moved towards the seat beside him. " Is this seat taken?" she inquired. It was only a minute later after he unplugged his mind and soul invested in the book, that he replied, "No." His smile, she thought to herself. It felt familiar, secure and invited a conversation between them. "Hi, Are you a student on your way back ?" she said. "Indeed. What about you?" he asked. Brooke bounced at this opportunity because this was a great conversation starter.
"I am a student too. Gave my semester exams a week ago. We have spring vacation now, so I hopped on a plane to see my parents. It's been three years since I last saw them. What's your story?". Without any hesitation he replied, "I'm auditing a course on music production. It's a great stress buster for me." "Music? Tell me more!"
Brooke seemed ecstatic. Brooke was a musician, a very talented one and had a great ear for music.He seemed to a keen note of that. They started with what they were listening to at that moment. She suggested self titled, an album by forty foot echo. He jumped in to say that that was the most incredible album ever made. He then shared his favorites Metallica, John Mayer, Three doors down, , Intervals and the list that practically took fifteen minutes to describe. She went on next for another twenty minutes. She started her music journey from school, where she told him that singing for those little school ceremonies was what trained her to put herself out there in front of an audience. She gave all credit to her music teacher who she claimed gave her the pedestal. Brooke talked about her band in college and how much she loved playing at the club along with them. But said she despised the fact that how broken relationships of band members could affect the band and was what caused it to break up. She realized she talked too much and cleverly brought a shift of topic. Automobiles. What cars they liked, what bikes are trending now , what dream cars they would want to have one day , the conversation seemed like it had no end.
Physically, they were seated in a lounge at the airport.But as their their imagination took over, they ended up on a racing circuit called Nurbergring, in Germany, the world's largest racing track, betting over who would beat the other at completing the lap on time ! It's exciting to find someone with similar interests. It un believable how someone can fit the pieces of the puzzle so well. Their conversation was like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spaghetti and meat balls r whatever great duo their is out there.The two of them kept talking and spent three hours in that lounge. It was almost boarding time, they parted ways and hoped to meet again. Much to their deep desire and surprise, their seats were right beside each other!
Five hours of getting to know more about each other, they now shared a lot more in common than just music. Their choice of Chinese and pizza over a lavish meal, preference of watching basketball over playing. Playing soccer for varsity in college. Menial things like coffee over tea or watching movies over reading books. Their respect for family values and the importance of maintaining good relationships with each other. All this talk was scintillating , but Brooke still wanted to play it safe. So she suggested that they exchange mail IDs. It was almost landing time and Brooke lost herself to introspection. She blushed over this new experience and lamented over the fact that this trip was about to end soon. Nonetheless, she made peace with her circumstances. "Goodbye, Brooke!" he waved. Brooke realized that she had given a piece of herself to him and wondered if there was any hope for a future.
Three years later, they spotted each other, yet again, in another airport. Brooke wondered if this was a co-incidence anymore. She walked a lazy, hesitant strut. "Josiah ?" she called. He turned towards her ,"Brooke!" his face glistened with a smile. The same smile that captivated Brooke's heart many years ago. His eyes locked with hers. And as it happens in the movies, the surroundings faded out, all the noises, pushed to the background. A pleasant melody began. They drew close and drowned in each other's minds. He led her into a gentle dance, something that she will remember for the rest of her life. Six months later, they exchanged vows in a beautiful ceremony.
It's surreal how unprecedented and unplanned their meet was. How years had passed by as they thought about , hoped for and wished to come across each other's paths again. What it felt like to send an email to a complete stranger. And without them noticing , they grew fond of each other over distance. They couldn't share this longing with anyone. Who would believe a story like that? A story about two strangers chatting while waiting for something.
Brooke and Josiah have five children now and are living their dream in a beautiful house in Bali. Their story is the 'modern fairy tale' , as some of their friends and neighbors say.
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4 comments
A good job with your story. I particularly admired how you managed to quote the prompt within the story. Like Dan says there are some errors in your story and as Brittany says it would be a good idea to include more dialogue in the story especially as it is, by and large, a conversation. Less telling and more showing. You have used some good metaphors and similes and your description at the beginning enables the reader to clearly visualise Brooke's surroundings.
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Nice job with your story. I see from the previous post that you had to rush to get it submitted. I totally get that. There were a lot of little things that were distracting—commas in the wrong places. Spaces before commas or periods and then no spaces after periods, some missing letters, words that should have been capitalized. If you have more time before the submission deadline next time, just give it a careful read over to make sure your reader isn’t pulled out of the story by technical issues. However, I liked the sense of fate that you ...
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Keren - Thank you for sharing your story. This is a great start to an idea. I liked the character of Brooke and her eagerness to connect even with a stranger. I loved her chatty nature and yet her insecurity at maybe talking too much. Instead of telling us what they talked about, I would have loved to be in on the conversation word-for-word, even if only a part of it. Creep in close to that small moment and make it intimate. Keep writing!
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Brittany- Thank you for the lovely words! Appreciate it! I agree about letting the reader in- on the conversation. I rushed the story and started describing instead of inserting dialogues because it was almost submission time, but, I agree with you. I think I'm going to re-work on it and give it the color! Thanks!
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