The Kimoya Beads

The air was stifling as Charles rummaged through dusty boxes in the attic. As he came across various pictures and baby toys, he was filled with nostalgia even though he was sent by his wife to “get rid of everything”. He came across a smaller box with his name imprinted on it. Glancing inside, his heart warmed as he beheld the kimoya beads. Taking the bracelet into his hands he reminisced the scent of his mother who’d given it to him at birth. He placed it in his pocket and continued his cleaning. 

Exhausted from his day’s work, Charles hardly heard his wife say, “Good night,” as he drifted asleep. In an instant, the smell of pancakes wafted past his nostrils perking his senses. He followed the smell, just as he’d done numerous times when he was younger. Standing in the doorframe of the kitchen, he watched as his mother flipped the pancakes one by one. Sweat gleamed on her creased brow, and her apron was dusted with flour. The side of her mouth was quirked as she moved her hips to the music playing in her head. 

“Jr”, she called. He smiled and stepped into the room. Just before he was about to speak, a young kid in striped pajamas rushed past him scrambling to sit in the high chair at the kitchen table. The boy looked to be about four, but there was something alarming about him. “Good morning, mama,” the boy said. Mama? He looked closer at the child sitting in his chair. Is that me? Charles’ mouth dropped as he took himself in, taking note of the kimoya beads around the child’s tiny wrist. He watched as Jr was served pancakes, and observed the other two empty places at the table. “Daddy, your food’s gonna get cold,” Mama shouted. 

A man with rich, dark skin sauntered into the kitchen. The man was young, maybe no older than he himself, but his belly was round as if the tastes of age were beginning to take its form. His beard was lightly flecked with gray, but his glasses remained high upon his face. His posture was still straight, his gait still smooth. He kissed Jr’s head, and blew a kiss to his wife. Charles stood and watched as the events unfolded, unsure if he should intervene. He wasn’t even sure if they knew he was there. 

“Ma?” Charles said, taking a step further into the kitchen. No response. “Mama?” He said again and she looked up instantly towards the little boy at the table. “Jr, did you call me?” Jr’s big, bright eyes looked up, his mouth filled with food. “Oh. nevermind,” she smiled going back to her morning routine. Charles backed out of the kitchen. One foot after the other, then he turned around and ran. He ran for the front door and slammed it closed behind him. Hands on his knees, he gasped for air in the stifling heat. He couldn’t quite place his emotions nor could he make sense of what was happening. Why am I here? Gathering himself, he stood straight. Just as he took his last deep breath and was about to go back inside, he felt a slight shift in the air. 

It wasn’t smothering hot, but there was a nice breeze like the breezes that come with Fall. He glanced around the neighborhood and smiled. He could almost feel as if he were reliving his childhood. He remembered running on these sidewalks, and playing in the water sprinklers. He remembered failing at riding his skateboard, and-. His breath caught as he watched his ten year old self ride a bike down the street. The orange, short sleeved button down shirt and jean shorts, he remembered this day like it was yesterday. Instantly, Charles took after his younger self desperate to stop what was bound to define him for years to come. 

With a cramp in his side, weakened legs, and strained lungs, he’d finally arrived at the playground. It was really a small play area in the neighborhood, but it felt huge to him when he was little. Just as expected his bike was parked behind the only tree in the park, and Jr sat on the only bench. Jr watched the kids laughing and playing. “Can I play?” Both Charles and Jr thought simultaneously. He felt a tiny jolt within him, and he looked at the little boy on the bench who was also looking up at him. For a moment it seemed as if the boy could actually see him, but before he could ask something stole Jr’s attention, and he knew exactly what it was. 

A group of boys, all small in size compared to Jr, were fighting over who’d get to ride Jr’s bike first. Oh no. “Hey!” Jr yelled, “That’s my bike!” Jr ran over, and Charles was not far behind. “Jr, stay away from them,” he tried to tell him, but Jr couldn’t hear him. The kids trying to steal Jr’s bike were from his school. They often terrorized him, so it was no coincidence that they were here now. 

“Oh Jr, hi,” the leader of the group, a ginger, said. “We didn’t know that this was your bike,” he lied. Charles could feel the absolute fear seeping from Jr’s pores. “That’s ok,” Jr responded, “but can you leave it alone?” “You wouldn’t mind if we rode it around the park, would you?” The ginger asked. Jr became anxious. Another one of the boys from the group, a blondie, pushed him hard saying, “Yea Jr, let us ride.” Fed up, Jr pushed the ginger off of his bike causing him to fall to the ground and tackled the blondie. The two scuffled, Jr getting the best of him, until the other three kids jumped in each taking turns to punch, kick, and slap Jr. The beating felt as if it took a lifetime to end, but when they were finally worn out the kids stole his bike and left him bleeding on the ground. The sun was near setting, the air getting cooler. Charles remembered the pain all too well. He suddenly noticed the bracelet in his pocket and took it out. He moved it about in his hands, and he cried with Jr. Just as before when they’d both had the same thought, there was a tiny jolt within him. Charles immediately looked at the little boy who was laying on the ground looking up at him. The air went still as the two stared at each other. 

Realizing he’d been holding his breath, he released it. Jr looked down into Charles’ hands, a spark of recognition lighting his eyes. Charles walked up to him carefully, like a cheetah stalking its prey. He came to his knees, and Jr sat up. Looking into each other’s eyes, he placed the bracelet onto Jr’s wrist. The boy then stood up with his back straight and his jaw strong. After a single deep breath, Jr turned and walked away. He watched as Jr confidently walked home. When he was out of sight, Charles looked down at his hands. He was ashamed that he’d allowed this moment to define him. He closed his eyes for a second, but when he opened them he was somewhere else. 

The overwhelming smell of flowers and the freakishly long line of cars reassured him of where he was. It was move-in day, and he was a huge mess of emotions. He looked around until he found his younger self, eighteen year old Jr beginning his freshman year of college. His mother, now older and streaked with gray, held Jr’s face. Tears streaming down her wrinkled face, she kissed his forehead deeply. His dad literally had to pry her off of him, so that he too could kiss his son bye. “Do big things,” he told him. “Big, huh?” Charles and Jr thought together. Again there was that tiny jolt, and Charles found his younger self staring at him. After a second, though, Jr was distracted by his departing parents. Jr was strong until they’d left. He remembered how terrified he was of wasting his entire college experience. He followed Jr into his dorm, and when he closed the door behind him, he was startled to turn and find that the scene had changed.

Twenty-one year old Jr, sat on the edge of his bed with a girl sitting next to him. They appeared to be having a serious conversation, one that Charles slowly began to remember. Her name was Sierra, and she was pretty. Her figure was slim, and her hair was in long, auburn braids. Her lashes were long and her cheek bones were high. He adored her. “Look, Jr,” She said, “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I think you need time to figure it out on your own.” He remembered that feeling of panic as he knew he was going to lose her. Jr looked at her unsure of what to say. Even up until then, he’d had trouble with accepting himself, his self-esteem utterly low. He knew that she cared, but he was wary that his feelings for her weren’t being matched. Consumed with the belief that he was never good enough, Jr pushed everyone away. She took his face into her hands, and she kissed him deeply. “Keep your head up,” she said and walked out of the room. Jr looked down at his feet. “Come on, man,” they thought together. With that tingling jolt, Jr’s head snapped up, and Charles shot to attention. They watched each other, Jr’s head tilting to the side with curiosity as he beheld the bracelet on his hand. Charles was taken aback, for he didn’t realize that it was there, but he took off the beads and handed it to Jr. Jr turned them over in his hands, a small smile dancing across his wide lips. Mama had passed away by this time, but Jr looked up and winked. 

Charles heard loud cheering outside of the dorm. He went to see what it was as Jr watched him leave. It was very bright compared to Jr’s dimly lit room. Giving his eyes a moment to focus, he heard the announcement. “Thank you all for coming out to congratulate our class of 2020.” He sucked in a breath as he took in the huge crowd of people who cheered as they surged to their feet. Smiling from ear to ear, Jr too cheered from his place behind the podium. Charles rushed to the front of the crowd to find himself. His father and younger brother rose from their seats as Jr came running down the stage stairs. They hugged him tightly, uttering words of praise and adoration. Peeking out from the sleeve of his graduation gown, Charles saw the kimoya beads around Jr’s wrist. He was a little surprised, for he didn’t remember wearing them that day. However, when Jr looked up and smiled at him, he was certain that he hadn’t. He couldn’t help but smile back. 

Charles’ eyes shot open as dawn’s light peered through his bedroom window. His breathing quickened as he took in his surroundings, trying to make note of what was real. He looked next to him and found his wife sleeping peacefully next to him. He eased back into bed facing her and relaxed as he admired her physique, her soft coils peeking out from beneath her bonnet. He wrapped an arm around her, savoring the warmth. He closed his eyes and was filled with so much gratitude. He’d been through a lot, and his mother had gone before her time. However, when he was just a toddler she’d already taught him everything he needed to succeed. 

Feeling something in his pants pocket, he reached and found the kimoya beads. He released a breath, and tears threatened to form. I don't need these anymore. “You okay, baby?” His wife asked. He looked and found her gazing at him. He wrapped his arms around her again. “I love you,” was all he’d said. After a moment, their door burst open. “Good morning!” Their three children yelled as they climbed onto the bed, the youngest of the three (his baby girl) needing assistance. “Well good morning,” he responded as his wife laughed. His two boys snuggled against their mama, as his daughter did to him. “Dada, what’s that?” She asked, pointing to the bracelet he held in his hands. “Oh this? This is my superhero beads.” “When I put them on my wrist like this, I get mad strength. But not strength in here,” he said flexing his arms, “but strength in here,” he touched her temples. “When I wear this, I feel I can do anything no matter how hard. Here try it on.” Charles put the bracelet on her tiny arm. “See don’t you feel it?” He asked knowing she’d say yes. “Uhuh,” she smiled big. “You know what, you can have it.” She smiled with her snagged teeth, and laid next to him. Together the family went back to sleep, and this time he hoped without any dreams.