Destiny

Laurie Collins took another sip of the cold, stale coffee. Staring frantically at the half-finished script which was due in a few hours, the words were jumbled in some places and the sentences felt too scripted in others. 

“ Not enough coffee,” Laurie thought, “ Besides, I need a break ”. She grabbed her stained cheap cup which she had bought at Walmart right after the divorce. What had happened anyways? Laurie couldn’t remember most of the marriage, of course, she remembered her and John’s fairytale wedding, and she remembered their beautiful house with the roses out front and the large stone fireplace inside. Remembering how she had been the leader of the garden club, and how she had been expecting. The baby was gone. Laurie remembered picking out names and choosing colors for the nursery. At night John and she talked about how their baby would go to the neighborhood school, it would have been the oldest out of two or three or even four kids. 

But that didn’t happen and it never would have. Laurie started spotting halfway through the pregnancy and they lost the child. She had stayed up for nights crying and crying. She couldn’t get out of bed for a week but John had been there. He had been there for her making sure that she took her medicine and ate her food. Slowly Laurie made it back; she took her spot on the gardening club again, ignoring her neighbors' sorry faces and talked to John about adopting. The loss had hit John slowly, so slow that Laurie hadn’t noticed.  He had stopped making Thursday night dinners. Showing up to surprise her at work. Wearing his pink ties. It was all her fault, if only she had noticed. Laurie remembered the last night the most. John had bought her flowers and a nice dinner. John had been relaxed and happy. Laurie could still hear his last word, Goodnight. He hadn’t even left a note. 

In real life, you didn’t get second chances or if you did they were crappy ones. It had been two years and Laurie was still struggling. After she had moved in with her parents for a while,  found a dream job as a writer for a show called “Second Chances: The Game Show that Changes Lives”. In real life, every day was a challenge, but in the show, you only had to face 3 challenges. Each one was harder than the other. Most of them were impossible to do on the first try, so each contestant was given a second chance to learn from their mistakes. If they passed through each challenge the contestant won 100,000 dollars. The show took anyone, from ex-convicts to divorced mothers. 

Breathe, Laurie told herself. And popped in another pod of instant coffee into the motel quality machine. Soon the cup was full to the brim of piping dingy liquid which had the same smell of the rest of the apartment. It was larger than a dorm room with a small kitchenette, full of the white cheap appliances like you would see on infomercials. A sleek new T.V was on the forefront of the largest wall, facing her bed a pink lacy bed with so many pillows and stuffed animals that she would throw them onto the floor whenever sleep would strike her. But between all of her work, she barely used it. Next to the T.V stood a gray desk, there her computer lie daring her to come back and finish. Not yet Laurie thought, rationalizing with herself. It had been hours since her last break. Laurie could have bought a much nicer apartment but opening up the large drapes to the side of her bed reminded her why she had found her peace here. A french door opened up to a small terrace that showed her favorite view of the city. With John suburbia had just been more practical, a quiet place to raise their kids. But the city was freedom, it was her chasing the dreams she had always wanted too. Sort of, the air now felt tight, like a weight on her fought, Laurie was trapped. Looking at the city lights, She wondered, Was this happiness?

She sat back down and launched herself on the computer. A stream of careful consciousness filled her paper and Laurie let her hands bend to form the words. A snarky comment here, followed by an impossible amount of laughter, maybe the contestant should try to cry right here, or even laugh. Laurie had to be attentive to this script. Every word had to be deliberate and perfect. “Second Chances” was on the edge of cancelation from the network. A few years back the old writer had made a crude joke, and the ratings had never recovered. Laurie would lose everything, again. Anxious breathing filled her lungs and her heart started racing, When was the last time she ate? Panicking the world began to spin, her fingers loosened their grip, sliding into something, somewhere else. Breathe. Laurie felt her legs push onto the floor and her fingers find the keys. She wasn’t leaving. John wouldn’t have wanted her too. Not like this, Laurie would have to be stronger than him. 

Writing was an escape an hour passed and each line had been perfected into a genuine display of human emotion. The script was perfect or pretty damn close. Laurie checked the electronic clock on her computer, it was almost 4 am. A cool draft blew open the door parallel to her revealing the clouding night and the starless sky. One covered with air pollution so that only a dull moon could shine which was already beginning to set behind the cover of the daze horizon. Laurie sighed Stupid! You forgot to close the door. Getting up to lock it, Something pulled her forward into the twilight. It wasn’t the chilly air, a break from the heat in her apartment though, it was the street down below. Should I jump? No never. Laurie would never dare. A horrible way to die. Immediately, she closed the doors tight pulling a hard metal lock over the clean so they sealed shut. Stumbling into bed Laurie closed her eyes and tried to dream. 

She never dreamt anymore, except in nightmares. But they weren’t even fake; it was always the same memory, finding John. Sitting on the edge of the ottoman, a clean tight bed with no wrinkles behind him. John had never made the bed in the entire time that Laurie had known him. Laurie didn’t scream, she didn’t cry, she had just stood there for minutes pinching herself, staring, his blank open eyes coldly reflecting her paleness. 

Wake up, Wake up. Laurie pleaded herself out of bed forcing her eyes to open. What time was it? The cold coffee still sat on her desk forcing herself up Laurie took a sip. Scowling at the stale bitterness. Scanning the clock to get an idea of time, 10 am. It was okay. Laurie didn’t have to be anywhere today. Finishing the cold cup of coffee, it should have been refreshing in the heat of the apartment, but felt musty and malodorous. Her phone rang, an old model, that was a hand me down, she still hadn’t bothered to change the ringtone. 10 unread messages and from the producer of “ Second Chances”. Odd. Opening up her phone Laurie already knew something deep down. No, the Network would have let us finish the season. Right? Laurie clicked on the messages, hoping the best. But no, the show had been canceled. John died. The baby was gone. Her job was gone. 

A spiral tightened and tightened in Laurie’s stomach. What did she think the messages were going to be? You can’t save anything. First John. Now, this. No Laurie was stronger. Her knees weakened falling onto the floor, tears pouring. Heart louder than a drum. Breathing harder and faster. The knot squeezing her guts into a ball. Her heart got faster and faster. Crumbling the rest of herself to the floor.  Everything went and went in a dizzy array of confusion, hurt, and anger. Faster and louder. Spinning and spinning and spinning and stop. Stop. The world went quiet. Laurie was dead...and then alive again. Laurie woke up somewhere new, a bed with familiarity, in the house that she had moved out of after the death. A bell rang into her ears. She was awake. Really awake for the first time in a long time. An angelic robotic voice rang in her ears. 

Welcome to Second Chances, The Destiny Game that Changes Lives. You will have a new prospect at changing your fate by receiving a redo of your worst failures. Succeed and receive a life of happiness, fail and you will depart. You will now receive your three tasks. Save John. Save the Game Show. Save Your job. Do you accept?