Its been a long time coming

Today is one of the most important days of my life. In 5 minutes my life is about to take a turn. I’m giving to the world one of the most important things that I discovered, myself. But how did I get here, how did I manage to stand before millions of people and speak. I certainly never thought this was possible. After all, I’m just a village kid who is was a nobody in just less than 2 years ago. How is this happening, well let me share this: I have always known life had something more to offer and no matter what I would also one day succeed and be known in the world. Being rich and famous was my life long dream and just being myself and people start loving me and look up to me for all the great things i can and are able to do . Kind of like the way you would typically treat a Chris Brown or Justin Bieber. I wanted to be on stage, do something or say something worth spending money and time on. But I had one problem, I didn’t Know how to be famous or how the hell am I going to have a million people come to my show and listen to me do my work. I have tried playing sports, but damn the running and moving killed my spirit. I tried singing, lets just say after one audition on South Africa‘s got talent- that wasn’t happening. I tried acting, but after three days I lost the passion I never had for it, mostly because I was not camera friendly. Well I wasn’t talented, I didn’t have anything that I could offer to the world. All I knew how to do was smoke weed and drink until the sun came up then find my way to my bed. One thing I knew how to do better than any one was sleeping, anyone would think I was dead. But that can not make anyone famous. That would only be time wasting and unhealthy. But could I make money out of it- probably not. I always liked talking to people and making every situation kind of seem enjoyable. I used to love the feeling I would have whenever in an argument or debate, I could chose any side and persuasively make everyone agree to whatever I was saying or against. My friends only knew me for telling lies, well I wouldn’t say I was a liar but sometimes bending the truth a little always made the stories I told a little bit funny and amazing. One thing I know though is almost everyday before I slept, just 5 minutes before I close my eyes I would find myself smiling looking in the roof thinking about “what could be, what should be and what if everything that I sit and imagine in my room all alone at night could come to be. “ Every night I would see myself in one of South Africa’s biggest stadiums and just be with people and talking about something, anything. Even though I didn’t have an idea of what we would be on about in one of those meetings, but I knew I wanted to be in front of those people and do something. I enjoyed my thoughts, so much that I would wish to tap into the imaginations and make them reality. But how was I supposed to do that? How was I going to manifest those into the physical world and see them becoming exactly as I wanted? Those were some of the questions that kept my mind up and running all night long. I desperately needed to know actually who was I and what gift or talent I had in me so that I could serve the world. If Ronaldinho could manage to make a name for himself by just doing what he loved the most and get paid millions of dollars just to have fun. Then heck there is something that I would be able to do and be that could make me wealthy. If Tomas Edison could manage to light the earth, do so many wonderful things and change the world, so could I. Its not like he had an advantage in time or life than anyone. He also had 24 hours in everyday like all of us and he also ate food and drank water. He was only just a man, a hu-man. Its funny how God hides our talents and gifts within us , in the place he absolutely knows we cannot miss them. But then again, we always manage to look at many places except for within. That was one of my problems. I looked everywhere except from the inside It was clear, I didn’t know myself. I did know my name but my name wasn’t me. All I knew was what I was. I was a Man. But being a man that doesn’t understand what being a man means was useless. I did learn from initiation school that a man must first of all know who he is,. Know where he is coming from, know what he is capable of doing, have a purpose and know where he is going. I didn’t know all those, but yet I had the audacity to call myself a man. I wasn’t a man until I knew all five things a man should discover and know about himself. The quest to finding out about me led me to a discovery that everyone was born with a gift. We all possess something that makes us special from everybody else in the planet, im not just talking about fingerprints. Im talking about something unique inside that when you do it you feel like superman. Yep, I knew somehow I was a superman. Besides, we wouldn’t be on earth just to be born and die. The is something in all of us that we need to share with our generation. And not finding it out would mean I robbed not only my generation, but the one ahead of us. Sometimes I would think and wonder what would people say in my funeral when I died. Would they say I was a good person or just a lazy bastard who was a good for nothing, a failure, a liar and a cheater who broke every heart of the woman who came into his life. Every time when I opened the TV or listen to the radio I would hear and see all these people making change in the world and being themselves. People who actually managed to be all they were sent to earth to be. My quest led me into one day deciding to volunteer to be a teacher at my old high school so that at least I could do something productive with my life, be a blessing to someone and help them get to their dreams. Standing in front of those kids every morning felt like a blessing, it gave me energy I never thought I had. For once in my life a sense of purpose arose and everyday I had something to look forward to. For once in my life people started to respect me. It was inspiring to feel like finally im not just taking from society, but im also giving back. And at the process I was starting to notice some of the things in me I never knew existed. For once I actually discovered one of my talents and that was speaking. Well people don’t necessarily think speaking is a talent, well I’d like to show them otherwise. After serving in my high school for eight months, I had to teach people how to discover themselves and release all those hidden talents and gifts on the inside. In my community, I found out there was a guy who could draw, but never really thought that was his talent because he believed everyone could draw. I found a guy who was so good in painting fences that he was making so much money but couldn’t tell that was his gift. Everyone believed talents and gifts were only in the academic and athletic field. Many more people like me were having talents in them but underestimated that those were the things they should actually be doing. It felt like I should do something about this kind of thinking and mentality. People needed to be liberated. People needed to hear the good news about themselves, but the news were so amazing that most people couldn’t believe it was them that had all those things inside. I had to cure that disease, I had to tell as many people as I could about the hidden talents they have and how they could improve them and possibly make money out of them. Well I couldn’t tell them about the money part yet because for almost 23 years I have been talking everyday and not even a single cent was paid. I thought to myself damn I should be charging every one for just having the opportunity to talk to me. I kept on talking and talking for days and I felt good that I was aware that this actually was what I was born to do. I was born to speak, not just talk. Some people confuse the two terms as meaning the same thing. But I would advise them to think otherwise. In the process of sharing my ideas and philosophies in my community, I didn’t realize that many important people were listening. People that would help me get to my destiny. So one morning I receive a call from an un know number and im being told that someone heard what I was busy blabbing about the other day and they would like me to come to their church and share a word with the youth. They even offered to pay me something when I was done talking. I was amazed and surprised at the same time. Here I was, after having so much talking in my life, only when I spoke, they wanted to pay. I couldn’t believe it but it was happening. The guy sent me an address and a time I was to speak at in their church. For fourteen days straight I tried thinking about what I would say but couldn’t come up with anything and the date of the talking was near. I figured since it’s a local church I didn’t have to prepare that much and I would just be saying a few words and sit down. Sunday came and damn I was nervous. I was sweating while taking a shower, something I know you wont believe but is true. On that Sunday morning I woke up and got ready to go to the church. After finishing everything I went to the address early so I could see first how things were going then I would dive into my purpose for being there. As I arrived, I saw that the place was huge. It was in a community hall center that could occupy around 500 people. To my surprise there were also cameras in that church that would broadcast all their Sunday sessions and also post them online. I started to be nervous. I couldn’t believe what my eyes were seeing. I was about to go down to the stage and be connected. My time came and I was about to go to stage when everything that I have been talking about and trying to show people was going to be heard by more than 2.7 million people and worst part I didn’t know what I was about to talk about. As I’m waiting in the backstage, a guy with a microphone comes closer and instructs me that 5 min before I go in. My hands are shaking, my feet can’t keep still, my voice is doing some weird sounds. Not the voice I had three hours ago. But to calm myself down I had to think about all the road I travelled up to this far and how did I get here. A year ago I was mostly confused about my life, but now in trying to get to know me I find myself being called upon stage to do what I can do and absolutely love. I wasn’t being a Chris Brown or a Justin Bieber. But I was being myself, I didn’t care about the fame anymore, I didn’t care about the money. All I wanted to do was become myself and grow. As I walked to that frightening stage, I saw my fears leave. With everyone silent and quiet, I was about to deliver one of my most important speeches in my life. And before opening my mouth I realized, it has been a long time coming to being myself. I just hope everyone out there manages to find out about themselves. I tell you the is nothing so satisfying in the world as being yourself. Try it and see, I dare you.