The Hunt

Submitted into Contest #76 in response to: Write a story told exclusively through dialogue.... view prompt

3 comments

Mystery Thriller Western

“Where is he”, as the door flew open. 

Silence filled the room. “I don’t like repeating myself”

Still not a sound was made.

“He was spotted here not long ago.” 

“No idea stranger”. Came a reply 

“Drink, whiskey”. Walking up to the bar.

“There, take it”, as a bottle with a glass appeared

“You”, taking a shot of whiskey “Tell me where he is”, glancing over into the corner.

“Who are you looking for”.

“Tall, has a scar on their cheek, walks with a limp, last seen headed this way”. 

“Doesn’t ring a bell, sorry”. 

“Ahhh”, as a gunshot is heard. “I don’t like being lied to”

“Please, no ones come in here for at least two days”

“He had to of gone somewhere”, drinking another shot “someone must have seen something”

“Anyone”, once more reaching for his gun. “ There’s a farm about a mile or so away, been abandoned for a while now”. 

“Do I know you, have we crossed paths before”.

“We’ve never met, I just want a quiet life and if that gets rid of you, so be it”.

“Take me there”. “I give you my word, no harm will come to you”. 

“Why should I believe you”.

“If I wanted you dead, trust me you would be”. 

“Thanks”, placing a gold coin onto the bar. “That should cover the drink”. “How far is this farm”.

“Like I said, not to far a mile or so away”

“Any other questions”

“Just who are you”. “Who I am is not important it’s who I want”.

“And who’s that then”.

“A killer, someone who wouldn’t Hesitate to kill first and ask questions later, someone I’ve been tracking for days now”.

“What happens when you catch him”. “Then I will give him a choice”.

“Ok, What if you succeed”. “Then I move on, making sure justice is served”. 

“And what if you fail”. “Pray that I don’t, but if that happens leave town because I’d hate to think what happens next”.

“There, that’s the farm, now what”.

“Now I wait, plan my next move, your free to go or you can stay, I could always do with an extra pair of eyes”. 

“Their not what they used to be but if you fail what hope has the town”. 

“It’s going to be dark soon, last chance”. “ I’ve made my choice”. 

“Shhh, I thought I heard something”. 

“Look, over there, smoke, could be a trap”. 

“More than likely, have to be careful, don’t want to let on that I’m here or that I’m not alone”. 

“What’s the plan then”. 

“Not sure yet, but I know I’ve got to act fast”.

“Here, take my gun, make your way behind that old house, keep low”.

“Then what”. “ once there count to 30 the fire a shot to the west, then wait”.

“What if nothing happens”. “ Then I will join you, so it’s important you don’t be seen”.

“What if I’m seen”. “Hopefully he’ll think your me and ether try and take a shot, or reposition himself”. “Ether way I can make my move”.

“So what your saying is, I’m bait”.

“Well, you wanted to stay”.

“ I guess I’ve got no choice do I.”

“Sorry, Sometimes people aren’t always given the luxury of choice, sometimes they just have to make do and hope for the best”. 

“ Here’s to tomorrow”, taking one of the guns.

“Stay low, keep quiet” as they went there separate ways.

“Bang, Bang” came the sound moments later.

“Anything” as they were reunited.

“ nothing at first, but then I heard something coming from that barn over there”.

“A good a place as any to hide I’d guess”. “Just have to find the best way in”.

“Maybe it’s got a backdoor or something”.

“It’s worth a look, go round, I’ll meet you back here, keep quiet”.

“Look, it might be possible to get in there”. Finding a gap at the side.

“You stay here, I’m going back to the front”. “Time to give him the choice”.

“ I know your in here, it doesn’t have to be this way”. 

“ I’m giving you 2 minutes to come out slowly, I give you my word no harm will come to you”.

“Well, What’s your answer” 

“So I hear you’ve been looking for me”. “ Yes, I’ve been tracking you for two days now”.

“Most people would have given up, or be dead”. “ To be honest I was curious who you were”.

“ I’m just someone who’s giving you a choice, it’s up to you if you want to take it or not”. 

“ I almost respect that”. “You remind of myself, you have a code and you stick by it”.

“Except I seek justice, you seek wrath and don’t seem to let anyone stand in your way”.

“I’m just a survivor, nothing more, nothing less.”

“I don’t doubt it.” 

 “Look out” as a lantern was thrown into the air.

“What the ..”

“I couldn’t get through that gap so I came back round here”.

“It’s a good job you did”. “Thanks”

“Do you think he’s still in there”. As the barn began to burn.

“I’m not sure “. “I never saw a face, just heard a voice” 

“Strange, I mean he could have got out when he threw the lantern”

“Perhaps”. “Just something doesn’t add up that’s all”.

“What do you mean”

“Just the things he said, saying we have more in common than you think”.

“Maybe it’s someone you know, someone from your past”.

“All I know is I’ve got to track him down, maybe then I’ll get some answers”.

“You need some company, honestly I don’t mind”.

“Thanks, but you better get back to the town, be prepared just in case”.

“Besides, this is something I’ve got to see through to the end”.

“You better take your gun back, your probably going to need it”

“Keep it, you’ve earned it, along with my respect”. 

“So what’s the plan now”

“Rest up till first light”. “ top up my supplies”

“ and then what”. Shaking his hand. 

“That’s easy, my friend”.

“Then the hunt begins again”.

January 15, 2021 18:09

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3 comments

Zorana Lorden
22:47 Jan 20, 2021

Cool story! A western is certainly a cool use for this prompt. The syntax is a bit rough and there may be a few typos but the dialogue is fun to follow regardless. I would be tempted to say that the non-dialogue parts are not necessarily in total compliance with the prompt, EXCEPT I do think that your use of them is really good and important to the reader's ability to follow the story. And I applaud you for having the courage to take creative license. This story has great potential, and with just a little bit of cleanup, it would be really g...

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David Goodman
21:30 Jan 23, 2021

Many thanks for the comments. I’ve only really started to dip my toes into creative writing side of things. I know sometimes my gramma might let me down and I probably need to reread what I wrote more times but I’m learning also choosing the prompt write a story told exclusively through dialogue wasn’t easy, for me at least but I enjoyed it.

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Zorana Lorden
03:21 Jan 25, 2021

Definitely keep at it!! It’s an awesome start!

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