The Gratitude Journal

“It’s like this doc. I have lost all my former friends, and my family has pretty much abandoned me, and nobody talks to me at work unless it is strictly necessary for business. They call me lacking in gratitude, saying that they cannot remember a time when I said ‘thank you’ to any one of them. I know that I have to change my ways, but I do not have a clue as to how I can do that. I need your help doc. Things have to change drastically in my life, or I will spend the rest of my days alone, very alone.”

           The doctor looked at Fred intently, then informed him of a way that he could solve his problem.

           “Fred, what you need to resolve your problem is to have a gratitude journal. In it you will write down in meaningful words your gratitude each day for something that someone did for you. Here is the journal that you are to write in. I will arrange to have another session. In the second session we will have a look at what you wrote, and what the results of doing that writing did for you. What do you think of having that meeting a month from now?”

           Fred was silent and motionless for a few empty seconds, but then he reached out and grabbed the journal, like it was a parking ticket put on his windshield.

           “How much and how often do you want me to write?” When he said this, Frank sounded like a grumpy school boy who didn’t like the assignment he was forced to do.

           “I want you to write at least one statement, hopefully more, every day. Do not let a day go by without you writing some words of gratitude for what somebody did for you. It will   probably be difficult at first, but it should gradually get easier as the days go by. You can count on that. Now go and make your appointment.”

           Fred simply nodded in reply. He could not find words to speak, certainly no words of thanks, as he felt at this point that the remedy prescribed would be a waste of his time. He then walked over to the room where the secretary was and arranged for his next appointment. He wondered whether he would be able to write even one entry, let alone one every day..

The First Day

It was the first day with the journal. Driving to work, Fred had the journal sitting in the passenger seat to his right. He didn’t feel that there would be anything that he should feel gratitude for while driving, but he had it there ‘just in case’. He thought and spoke out loud to himself as he often did, saying “It would be better to have a cursing journal when I am on the road”. He laughed and then shifted his attention back to full concentration on the road and the other drivers.

           He approached a part of the highway that he always hated. It was where three lanes rather quickly became two.  It always seemed to him that there was a competition between the drivers approaching the narrowing from line three and those who felt that they owned line two. He was of the first group, and was preparing himself for a struggle.

           To his surprise, the driver that was driving parallel to him in the second lane waved him in. He was at a loss as to what he should do to acknowledge this kindness. This was a new experience for him, so he didn’t wave back in gratitude. But he did do something when the other driver was out of sight, but not of mind. After he turned off the highway to the road on which his workplace was located, he stopped at the red light not far along that road, picked up pen and journal and wrote the words “Thank you, sir, for letting me in”. He couldn’t think of anything that we could add to that. It seemed enough.

           Another surprise was waiting. When he pulled into the office parking lot, he saw the fellow that had let him into lane two parking not far from him. He now realized that he had seen that fellow before. He was new employee at work.

           Then he surprised himself. He quickly exited his car, and then walked over to the man, as the latter was getting out of his vehicle. At first he did not know what to do with this sudden impulse on his part, but the fellow made it easy for him. 

           “I believe that your name is Fred. When I saw you, I recognized you from work, so I let you in. By the way, my name is Ralph.”

           Fred was at a complete loss as to what he should say or do. He just nodded his head several times, said “Ralph” and then walked into his office. However, he knew right away as he sat down at his desk, what the first thing he was going to do there. He wrote in his Gratitude Journal, “Thank you again kind sir”. When he was finished writing, he put his journal into the uppermost drawer of his desk. He did not want to have anyone at work ask him about it. He would feel embarrassed. He would be the talk of the cafeteria.

The Second Day

The next day there was another entry in the Gratitude Journal. It involved a woman who kept the elevator door open for him as he headed briskly towards it. She also wished him a good day at work. He actually smiled at her, and once at his desk, he wrote in his journal “Thank you kind madam. Few people do what you did for me.”

That was it for the gratitude journal for the second day.

The Third Day

           The third day did not start out well in the gratitude department. Fred was beginning to contemplate the possibility that he would have to fake the entry for this day, make something up. The doctor might not suspect a thing. But he could not come up as yet with a believable subject. He laughed when he said out loud while driving home from work. “I know. ‘Thank you sky for not raining on me on this day. I feel gratitude for that.”

           Rather desperate not to have this day pointed out to him when he next saw the doctor, he decided to go to the local bar that night, where he could possibly feel and write something about his gratitude to the server.  That would work out. He hadn’t been to that or any other bar in ages, but he seemed to remember that the food at the Toby Jug was good.

           The place was crowded, so much so that there was not a spare bar stool in the place. He didn’t want to be seen sitting alone at a table. That would have ‘loser’ written all over his face. The words “thank you Toby Jug, for making me look bad’ came to mind as a potential entry in his journal

           Then he heard someone call out his name. It was Ralph. The table at which he was sitting had a spare chair. Fred first thought that maybe he could take the chair and somehow squeeze it into one of the ends of the bar. But that would be rude. Even he knew that. He would have to sit with Ralph and the others. He would have to at least fake interest in their company. That would give him something for the journal

           When he eventually sat down at the table, he looked around to see whether he knew any of the others from work. But he did not. He did notice, however, that there were two males and three females sitting at the table, and that one of the females did not seem to have a partner, and Ralph had him sit beside her.

           When he sat down, she introduced herself to him as Sarah. He replied with his name, although it was not probably necessary, as she must have heard Ralph call out his name. He was not good at talking to women, one reason why, at 30 years old, he wasn’t married and had never had a really serious relationship with a woman, although he had tried.

           Much to his surprise, the two of them talked comfortably, as if they had known each other a while. She even laughed at a bad joke that he told, one of his favorites. Time passed rapidly, too much so for Fred. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it just before they parted company.  He wrote a lot in his Gratitude Journal when he got home.

           And the writing did not end there. She kept appearing in his journal, day after day. In one such case, a week later, he wrote quite a bit about her in his journal. He did not notice that Ralph and others were watching him engaged in his ritual.

           Fred suddenly remembered that he had a meeting with his boss ‘first thing in the morning’. He did not want to be a target for her critical eye, so he got up quickly, forgetting to put his journal in the desk drawer.    

           Ralph saw this and went over to Fred’s desk and flipped through the pages of the journal, a big grin emerging on his face. He put it back down and rushed over to his desk and e-mailed Sarah concerning what he had just read, asking her to write something similar for Fred, as he knew that she liked the man. She quickly sent an e-mail, which he printed up and inserted in between the pages of the last entry in the journal.

           Upon his return, Fred was shocked to see the journal on the desk, even more so when he first caught sight of the printed e-mail. But his emotions did a fast turnaround when he read her words. He e-mailed Sarah, asking her whether she wanted to go to the Toby Jug for dinner tonight. She quickly replied positively.

           The next thing he did was go over to Ralph’s desk. He was greeted with a smile, and said to his workmate, now a friend, “Thanks brother. I am grateful for what you did, even though it was a bit sneaky.  Sarah and I are going out for dinner tonight at the Toby Jug. I would be grateful if you did not do likewise. We need time alone together.”

           What he thought, but did not say was that he didn’t want any witnesses ‘just in case’ things did not go well.

           Although he was initially nervous about this first date, they spoke to each other like old friends.  He wrote two pages of gratitude when he got back home, some of which was taken verbatim from what he had said at the end of their time together in the bar. He did not fail over the following weeks leading up to his next appointment to write profusely in the Gratitude Journal, as he and Sarah became a couple.