The Secret Meeting That Should’ve Stayed Secret

Submitted into Contest #273 in response to: Your character is invited to a secret meeting. Who invited them, and what do they encounter?... view prompt

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Fiction Funny

The Secret Meeting That Should’ve Stayed Secret

Chapter 1 - “Who Even Sends Texts Like This?”

Aaliyah was lounging on her couch, decompressing after a long day of the daily grind. She had clocked out of her 9-to-5 a few hours ago and was just about to dive into her side hustle when her phone buzzed. It was a message from an unknown number:

“You’re invited to a secret meeting tonight at 7 pm. Don’t be late. - J”

Aaliyah frowned at the screen. This had to be some kind of spam, right? She was about to delete it when another message appeared.

“It’s Jermaine, btw.”

Now she was intrigued. Jermaine? The guy she knew from high school who always had some new hustle going on? Last she heard, he was running a freelance gig, selling drop-shipped gadgets online. What could he possibly want with a “secret meeting”? She decided to play along.

“What kind of secret meeting?” she replied.

“Just show up. Espresso Yourself Cafe, 7 pm. Don’t be late!”

Aaliyah sighed. She had planned to spend the night catching up on her backlog of side gigs, but curiosity got the better of her. After all, it was just a quick commute to the café, and she could use a coffee run to break up the monotony of her day. Plus, knowing Jermaine, this was bound to be entertaining, if nothing else.

Chapter 2 - “Preparing for Disappointment, But Packing Snacks Anyway”

Aaliyah glanced at the clock—5:45. Plenty of time to get ready and still not feel like a clock puncher rushing out the door. She opted for her usual “I’m here for whatever” outfit: jeans, a hoodie, and sneakers. The kind of look that said, “I’m ready for anything, but I’m not trying too hard.” She also grabbed a snack bar because she had a feeling this meeting might end up being one of Jermaine’s wild goose chases, and she didn’t want to be caught starving.

As she drove, she thought about Jermaine. The last time they spoke, he had tried to recruit her into his “million-dollar business” which was actually just an attempt to sell overpriced supplements. He was always into something, clocking in and out of one venture after another, never sticking to a typical 9-to-5 or even a consistent gig. Yet, somehow, he always managed to hustle his way through life, and Aaliyah couldn’t help but admire that… in a strange way.

She arrived at Espresso Yourself Café, a quaint little spot she’d never heard of before. The sign out front was a coffee cup with a face on it, and the slogan read, “Start Your Grind Here!” She rolled her eyes—how fitting. She walked in, expecting to find a room full of people, but instead saw Jermaine sitting at a corner table, scribbling furiously on a notepad.

Chapter 3 - “Why Do You Look Like You’re Planning a Bank Heist?”

Jermaine looked up and grinned when he saw Aaliyah. “Hey, you made it! Was starting to think you’d bail.”

“I almost did,” Aaliyah said, taking a seat. “So, what’s this all about? And why are we meeting in a place that looks like a hipster’s break room?”

Jermaine leaned in, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I can’t explain everything right now. But let’s just say we’re on the verge of a big hustle.”

Aaliyah rolled her eyes. “Oh no, here we go. If this turns out to be another one of your MLM schemes, I’m clocking out early.”

“Nah, nah, this one’s legit,” he said, waving her off. “But I’m gonna need you to clock in as my partner for this one.”

“What does that even mean?” she asked, skeptical but curious.

Jermaine pulled out a small whiteboard from under the table and set it up. Where he got it from, Aaliyah had no idea. “Operation: Cookie Jar,” he wrote in big, bold letters. Aaliyah almost choked on her iced latte.

“Jermaine, what kind of gig are you trying to pitch me now?”

Chapter 4 - “Jermaine’s Crazy Scheme, Part 49”

Jermaine’s eyes lit up as he began to explain. “You know how there’s that bougie bakery, The Crumb Connoisseur?”

Aaliyah nodded. “Yeah, the one that sells cookies for ten bucks each. What about it?”

“They’re ripping people off!” Jermaine said, as if he’d just uncovered a global conspiracy. “They’re charging gross pay prices for cookies that taste like weekend gig leftovers. I’m tired of it, and I’m taking a stand.”

“You can’t be serious,” Aaliyah said, trying to keep a straight face. “You invited me to a secret meeting… to rant about overpriced cookies?”

Jermaine’s grin widened. “No, I’m inviting you to help me bring them down. We’re going to expose them, one cookie at a time. Tonight, we’re buying one of their overpriced cookies, taking it to a lab, and proving it’s not worth ten bucks.”

Aaliyah blinked. “Wait, did you just say ‘take it to a lab’? What lab? Are you outsourcing this to a freelance chemist?”

Jermaine puffed out his chest. “I got a guy.”

“You mean that dude from high school who used to fail chemistry and now does double shifts at the gas station?”

“He’s a licensed technician now!” Jermaine said defensively. “And he owes me a favor.”

Aaliyah couldn’t stop laughing. “This is insane, even for you.”

Chapter 5 - “The Great Cookie Heist”

Jermaine managed to convince Aaliyah to join his mission. It was almost 7:30 when they reached The Crumb Connoisseur. Aaliyah half-expected to see Jermaine setting up protest signs, but instead, he handed her a pair of binoculars.

“Dude, it’s not that deep. We can see the store from here.”

“It’s about the experience!” Jermaine insisted. “We’re here to clock in as investigators. We’re hustling for justice.”

“You need help,” Aaliyah muttered, but she took the binoculars anyway, just to humor him. “Fine, I’ll do it. But I’m not unionized, so don’t expect OT.”

She walked into the bakery, trying to act casual, while Jermaine pretended to be a spy outside, reading a newspaper upside down. The cashier greeted her warmly, which felt weird because she was literally there to expose them.

“Hi, welcome to The Crumb Connoisseur! Would you like to try our seasonal lavender lemon cookie?”

“Sure, why not,” Aaliyah replied, holding back a laugh. She handed over ten dollars, knowing she was about to clock out of her sanity.

The cashier handed her a tiny, elegant box with the cookie inside. Aaliyah opened it and almost burst out laughing. The thing was smaller than her palm and looked like it would crumble if someone sneezed in its direction.

Chapter 6 - “When a Cookie Costs More Than Your Lunch Break”

Aaliyah brought the cookie outside and showed it to Jermaine, who gasped like he’d just seen a crime scene. “It’s even worse than I thought,” he said, shaking his head. “This is a rip-off.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Aaliyah replied. “This cookie costs more than my commute.”

“Alright, here’s the plan. We’re gonna take it to my guy, Max. He’ll run some tests, and we’ll blow this cookie scandal wide open.”

“Jermaine, I can’t believe I skipped my side hustle for this.”

“You’re gonna thank me when this goes viral,” he said, as if he was about to be awarded the Nobel Prize for Snack Justice. “We’re getting our bread.”

Chapter 7 - “Testing, Testing, 1-2-3”

They drove to Max’s place, which was exactly what Aaliyah expected: a cluttered apartment filled with random gadgets and a mysterious smell she chose to ignore. Max set up a makeshift lab, complete with a microscope he claimed was “totally legit.”

“This cookie doesn’t have the proper sugar-to-flour ratio,” Max said after looking through the microscope for all of ten seconds. “I’d say it’s about 90% air.”

Jermaine nodded like he’d just received a deep dive on molecular biology. “Exactly! We’re gonna expose this.”

“Oh God,” Aaliyah sighed. “What’s next? A documentary?”

“Better,” Jermaine said. “A Twitter thread.”

Chapter 8 - “When a Twitter Thread Becomes a Revolution”

Jermaine filmed a dramatic video of himself holding the cookie, talking about how it symbolized everything wrong with overpriced boutique food. It was like watching a crime docudrama, but for cookies.

“This is Operation: Cookie Jar, and we’re going to reveal the truth about these overpriced crumbs!” he announced.

Aaliyah thought it was ridiculous, but to her surprise, people started sharing it. Within hours, the hashtag #CookieJustice was trending, and people were posting their own stories about overpriced pastries, from croissants to fancy donuts. Jermaine was in his element, retweeting everyone like he was leading a political movement.

Chapter 9 - “When a Dumb Idea Actually Works”

Two days later, The Crumb Connoisseur released a statement. They said they “valued customer feedback” and were “considering revising their pricing.” Jermaine strutted around like he had just clocked in as the CEO of snack reform.

“Can you believe this?” he said, showing Aaliyah the article. “We actually made a difference.”

Aaliyah smirked. “Yeah, and all it took was you losing your mind over a ten-dollar cookie.”

“Sometimes, you gotta hustle. We clocked in for justice, and we didn’t clock out until we won,” Jermaine said, dramatically throwing his arms up.

“Jermaine, you’re a workaholic for nonsense.”

“Hey, someone’s gotta do it.”

They both laughed, and Aaliyah had to admit, she was glad she went along with it. Sure, it was absurd, but in a world full of boring 9-to-5 grind, sometimes you needed a little crazy to spice things up.

END

October 20, 2024 07:00

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