Can't Help Falling in Mud

This is Melissa; I'm out right now; please leave me a message… Beep.

Hi there, Melissa. This is Daniel. You probably wouldn't believe it if you saw me, but I am walking down the street covered in mud. Let me explain. I had such a wonderful time with you this afternoon. I've not gelled with someone like that so quickly in forever. I guess you could say I've never been very lucky in finding a suitable partner. But the moment I laid eyes on you at the fitness club, it really was like being struck by lightning. I have never believed in falling for someone in a split second, but I am now converted. Your beautiful eyes and long, wavy brunette hair reminded me of that 90s actress, Jennifer Hewitt, particularly in the rom-com The Truth About Cats and Dogs. Or was that Uma Thurman? And when you approached me, it made me feel like a real magnet, like James Bond in The Spy Who Shagged Me, or was that Austin Powers? I can't remember. Listen to me prattling on about films.

But, anyway, it was fortunate you approached me on the Tennis court. You witnessing me thrashing my buddy 40-zero, game after game, was far preferable to you seeing me fumble around the golf course with the guys. I can hold a putter and all that, but it's safe to say I am no Davis the Third. I was taken aback when you invited me to your little nest so quickly. Kissing me in the hallway and on the neck like that. You got so carried away that you left a red mark. I spotted your little bite when I was in your bathroom, giving myself a pep talk in the mirror. I was chuckling, but then I saw your canvas on the wall that said live, laugh, and lord behold, I thought, that explains the spontaneity. This girl is something special.

I practically floated out of that bathroom and saw you had slipped into something more comfortable. You took me by the hand and walked me through the house before making sweet, sweet cookies for me in the kitchen. Like everything about you, those cookies were perfect. Delicious and warm. As soon as I tasted them, I could tell they were made with cinnamon. You really set the right ambiance, and you played all the best music. You can't go wrong with the Beatles. You asked me my favorite song, and I said all you need is a few bars of any track, and I am happy. But enough about silly romantic songs; I'm getting giddy again. The things you will do and say in the name of trying to impress a girl, eh?

So, you are probably wondering about the mud. After leaving your place, my legs were a little wobbly, as you can imagine. I went to the library to brush up on some poetry for you. That may sound cheesy, but I am always down that romance aisle. Jane Austin, The Bronte sisters, and even Danielle Steele. Anything from that genre. It's safe to say I am an absolute sucker for late fees. But I was so drunk and wobbly in my reverie that I tripped as I skipped out of the building and fell right into a puddle of mud. How embarrassing! All over my tennis whites. A guy passing by asked if I was ok, but at first, I could only laugh. He looked at me like I was crazy. I just went and blurted it out. I told him I was absolutely head over heels in this ditch by the sidewalk, and he laughed along and helped me up. What harm can a little mud do when you feel like this?

Anyway, back to you. I don't want to get carried away, but I think I'm in... err… let's just say I think you're fantastic. So, on Saturday, this coming Valentine's Day, a day simply bursting with lots of happiness, I would like to ask you to spend the day with me. I have a beautiful one planned for us. We will take a walk in Central Park. They have one of those tunnels couples go through in a boat, which should be fun. After that, I would like to take you for a meal. Michelin star, or fast food, if you prefer, because I think you would even look elegant eating a Big Mac. What's their slogan again? Come and see Ronald for a cheeseburger? That's the one! To finish the evening, we can see one of my favourites, a showing of Shakespeare in The Globe theatre. Romeo and Juliet is playing. In my opinion, tragedy or no tragedy, there is no more remarkable story of unity against all odds. R&J's plight even makes me feel better about my run-in with the mud. I promise I will get cleaned up before Saturday. I am looking forward to it so much. See ya soon.

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Hi, this is Daniel. Leave your message after the beep... Beep.

Hi Daniel. Thank you so much for your message. I think you are fantastic too. Something definitely was in the air. Oh, and don't worry about prattling on about sappy pop songs. I am also a sucker for sentimentality. I felt Cupid's arrow hit me right between the eyes. I even saw stars. My mother would always tell me about the time she met my father and how, the very moment she saw him, it was True by Spandau Ballet playing on the stereo. Maybe I will put it on next time. And thank you for complimenting my canvass with the three Ls. A few of my friends have said that sign is a red flag for a basic bitch, but I believe those values sum me up, and I am proud of that. Although, it makes me nervous that you would mention the L word. I can't remember the last time I went to the library. I'm not much of a reader. Anyway, your day sounds a delight, and I would like to join. Unless you want to come back over here right now and have another look at my bathroom. I will clean that mud right off you.