Broken Promises

I had promised myself never to fall in love. I had wanted to live a life without heartbreak and without someone who weakened me only by bearing the title of the person I care for most in the world. I had seen what love did to people. I had seen what heartbreak did to those I know. I had promised my heart, my mind, my soul that'd I'd never fall in love.

I guess you can say that after I had met him, I forgot about that promise to myself.

I still remember the first time I saw him. It was September 22nd, midday. I had been walking the town, completing my Sunday errands when a man came out of the little bookshop that sat at the end of the street. His arms carried bags and bags of book and his hands carried even more. In reality you could say that I didn't even see his face, I only saw the massive amount of reading material he carried. On his way to his car he had dropped a book, without stopping to pick it up. I had figured that he hadn't noticed it fall from his grasp. I retrieved the book from its spot on the ground and walked to the man, who was struggling to get his trunk open.

"Would you like some help, sir?" I had asked him, walking close to the edge of the car. From behind the books, he had laughed and said: "Indeed, some help would be rather nice."

Walking around to retrieve the keys he had held in his hand. It opened with ease and he carefully dropped the books in a pile on the trunk floor. I stared down at the small library that he had as he arranged them in a certain order, the cause of which was unknown to me. It had dawned on me that I had still not known what this man's physical features attributed. Other than strong hands and forearms his body carried, his face was still unknown to me.

After what seemed like a millennium, he had stopped rearranging the books and sighed. Out of the corner of my eye, I had seen him close the trunk and step around me to get to the driver side of his car. My eyes were still locked onto the trunk. I felt the cold, hard binding of the book that had been lost in my hands and I realized that I should return it to the man who had dropped it. Calling out for him to wait, I walked around to face him, staring at the book.

"You dropped this," I proclaimed, reaching the book out in front of me. I saw his hands reach for the book and a thank you sound from his lips.

"The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway," he said. His voice was thick and dark. It reminded me of a storm's wind. It was beautiful. "Have you read it?" He asked, I looked down at my feet and shook my head slightly.

"It's a horrid book, a man who had been injured in the war and a women who was a drunk and a whore all in one falling in love with each other?" I heard him scoff as I kicked my boots. "And not only that," he continued, "this women was going around and sleeping with men who only claimed they loved her because of her beauty, she had drunk bottle after bottle of champagne and took all and gave nothing to this man who had loved her for who she is." He took a breath and turned the book over in his hand. "This man had given the world to her, given his utmost and unrequited love to her and she had done nothing but hurt him in the most sinful and degrading way." He reached out and gave me the book. "You keep it for yourself. I don't know why I even got it today, love is a dreadful thing."

At that comment, I finally looked up at him. My lungs had stopped working as I stared at this beautiful man. My heart felt like it was in my throat and I could feel my stomach flip in a way that was unfamiliar to me. His eyes were large and the color resembled the sky on a bright and clear summer day. His mouth twitched up into a boyish lopsided grin and his hair was like a tree that had just met the colors of autumn on its leaves. It was swept to the side in a messy, bed head, sort of way, but it suited him perfectly. His eyes searched mine and he let out of breath of hot air. 

"You're beauty is captivating, my dear," he breaths, still looking into my eyes. My eyes go wide as I part my lips to speak.

"What are you called?" I asked, he snorts and flicks his eyes to the book in my hands before meeting my face once again. I question him with my eyes. He fiddles with the bands on his wrist before speaking.

"Adam."

"Mare," I hold out my hand for him to shake. "Very pleased to meet you." Once our hands meet, it feels like fire on ice, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand and my breath to catch in my throat once more.

His smile is wider now, his teeth glowing white in the bright sunlight. "As am I."

Two years later, I lay in the warm comfort of our bed and feel of protection of him and his arms around me. I think back to the first time I told him that I loved him, smiling into Adam's chest as I reminisce of the days that mean so much to me now.

I can't quite remember the exact day, but I do remember that it had been in the middle of the cold winter months. We had gotten into an argument, one that seems so childish now. I was standing in the middle of the parking lot, outside my apartment building, wearing only a large t- shirt and a pair of shorts. It was freezing. My arms wrapped around my body as a barrier to protect me from the cold. Wind whipped my dark black hair around my face and made me shiver with regret on the choice of clothing that I had stormed out in. My face was still hot, filled with fury and rage, and my body was shaking from the argument that had just happened.

Behind me, I heard the sound of the apartment doors being swung open and the sound of running footsteps. A blanket had been flung around my cold body and I had been picked up and carried from the spot that I had been frozen to to the warm escape of my own apartment. He laid me down gently on the couch that sat in my living room and ran to grab another blanket, tucking it under my neck. The tears had begun to fall from my eyes as I curled into myself. His hands stroked my head soothingly as he sung the song that I had called ours quietly under his breath in a soothing way.

"Why are you crying, my beautiful Amarie?" he asked into my shoulder.

I shuddered from the feel of his warm breath on my neck sending chills traveling down my back. Warmth seeped through my body at sound of my name coming from his beautiful mouth.

"I had promised myself not to fall in love, Adam. I had promised myself and now look what I've done," I sobbed into him. "I've broken the promise I made to myself. I've fallen in love with you, so deeply in love with you. I shouldn't make promises that I know I'm not going to be able to keep."

His face lifted up to mine the moment I spoke the words and met my eyes. Emotions dancing behind the beautiful blue eyes that I've come to call my world, a large smile beginning to form on his face.

"But, those are the best kind, my dear" he spoke, kissing my nose, the tears that fell from my eyes, and, finally, his soft lips met mine. "I love you, my wonderful. You are my heart, you always have been."