Marigolds

“I saw her again yesterday.”

“By that do you mean you caught a glimpse of her or that you followed her again?”

“I followed her again.”

“Derek, we talked about this.”

“I can’t help it, man. All I do is think about her. Night and day – it’s like… I just can’t let go. I love her so much I don’t know what else to do.”

“What you should do is move on bro.”

“I don’t think I’m ready to do that. Not yet.”

“Whatever, man. It’s your misery.”

“It’s not misery with her. Just the sight of her makes me feel like I’m alive again. You know that outfit she likes? The one with the yellow top and the tight blue jeans that make her ass look phenomenal? That’s what she had on yesterday. She had her hair up in a bun with two tiny tendrils falling on the sides of her face. She had on silver studs in her ears, three on each side. Her makeup was on point too. I think they call it a matte finish. I don’t know.”

“Are you going to tell me every single detail about your creepy stalking act?”

“Do you have anything better to do?”

“Not at the moment.”

“Then let me wax poetic.”

“Whatever.”

“As I was saying, she looked really good yesterday. At 10 in the morning, she had breakfast at that tiny little coffee shop we used to go to together back in the day. She always orders the same thing though. A vanilla latte and a croissant. Would it kill her to try something else? Like the egg sandwich or the English breakfast.”

“Maybe she doesn’t want to feel full.”

“Dude, that egg sandwich is amazing. Anyway, she pulled out her laptop as she had her coffee and started checking her emails. I don’t know why she doesn’t just check them on her phone. I tried asking her about it once and she ignored me. She’s very good at that – ignoring questions she doesn’t want to answer. It always bugged me. So, she checked her emails and replied to some. Some she ignored, others she read in their entirety. It was Monday, so there’s this blog she follows by some guy called Mark. I forget what it’s called. Soon she was done with what she calls breakfast and was out the door.”

“And you followed her.”

“And I followed her. Stalking isn’t that hard by the way. She walked for a few minutes before stepping into a jewelry shop. I think one of her friends owns the place. She was in there for quite some time before she left in an Uber.”

“And you managed to keep up?”

“Of course. As I said, stalking isn’t that hard. Plus, there was traffic so it was easy to keep up with a Suzuki Alto. The car stopped in this tiny suburb. Or is it an estate? What’s the difference between those two things anyway?”

“I don’t care. I wish I had a cigarette.”

“Apathy isn’t a good look on you, Patrick. You can’t even smoke here. She stopped at a suburb and headed to one of the many identical houses and rang the doorbell. Of course, the doorbell is at the gate so maybe I should have called it the gate bell. Some dude in a white vest, basketball shorts, and crocs let her in and she embraced him. The kind of embrace that would make someone blush. His hands were cupping her ass like … dude! I do not approve! Then the guy leads her into the SQ. The SQ! I mean, I haven’t been gone for a minute and she hooks up with a guy who stays in an SQ and answers the gate in a vest? Then the dude kissed her on the lips and said, ‘You look good today.’ Like she doesn’t look good every day. To which she said, ‘I have to look good for my boo.’”

“She really said that?”

“Verbatim.”

“Do you want to cry?”

“Shut up! So, she and her boo started making out and I just stood there watching through the window.”

“Pervert.”

“What would you have had me do? Barge in and start throwing shit around?”

“Maybe. But just watching your ex with another man? Couldn’t be me.”

“Anyway, because there are some things I would rather not see, I took my eyes off them and surveyed the scene. There was a small patch of ground around the SQ with some flowers. Did you know we have marigolds here?”

“What the heck are marigolds?”

“I just said I was looking at flowe- Never mind. A little bit after four she walked out. The dude had a funny look on his face. You know that look of glee like he just conquered the world. There was a smell around them too. The smell of sex. It pissed me off. He kept her company as she requested an Uber ride home. Imagine that? He let her request her own ride. When she was gone, I walked up to the dude and stared him right in the face. I wanted to punch him so bad I was shaking but I chickened out. I made my way back to her house and climbed up onto her balcony. She was in the kitchen making dinner. Her makeup was gone but she still looked amazing. She must have showered as soon as she got home. Whatever she was making smelled great and I think my head was so flooded with memories of us that I moved something. Probably a bucket and it made a noise. Before she came out to investigate I left and came here.”

“I wish I could leave this conversation.”

“Shut up, Patrick.”

“I will repeat my advice to you. Move on. She obviously has.”

“I … I want to… but -”

“But you’re scared. You’re wondering if you will go up or down, right?”

“Right.”

“Here’s the thing, if you go up, then that’s supposed to be good. You’ll be happy and content and all that good stuff.”

“Yeah.”

“If you go down then that’s perpetual torture. Kind of like what you’re already doing to yourself right now. But, if I’m being honest, you don’t strike me as a downstairs kind of guy, Derek.”

“Okay.”

“So, move on. Whatever happens, you won’t be stuck here anymore.”

“Thanks. I’ll move on. First I want to take one final look at her.”

“Whatever.”

“What about you, Patrick?”

“What about me?”

“When will you move on?”

“Oh, eventually. I know for a fact that I’m going down. I lived a shitty life. But I’m in no rush to go. I still have to haunt my wife. She’s the one who killed me after all.”