Second Chances

13^th August 2020 word count 1806

Sandra Wheatley

                                              Second Chances

The bright white paper stared back at me, daring me to attack it with a pen. My heart was sinking further into my boots as I suddenly felt a clear and present danger.

Beads of sweat started to run down my back and I sighed so deeply that I thought I was going to pass out, like the feeling one gets when you blow up a lot of balloons and you suddenly get very light-headed.

My two hates and fears in life are rejection and failure and both fears were now facing me, taunting me, daring me to start the dreaded process again and fail yet again and be rejected yet again.

The bright white paper had taken on its own identity It seemed to me very much like Goliath and I was absolutely David but, in this scenario, Goliath was always going to win and me as David was always going to lose.

I read the first line of the bright white paper: -

Name……………………………

Address………………………..

Email address……………….

Phone Number…………….

That I could do. I boldly put pen to paper and began to fill in the facts that were familiar to me. I did my best to fill in these details with a degree of confidence, how hard could this be?

Then, I turned the bright white paper over, and my Goliath hit me firmly between the eyes stopping me in my tracks and allowing a groan to come out of my throat that I had no idea was even possible.

Qualifications…………………………..

Degrees………………………………….

University……………………………….

Grades obtained…………………….

Experience……………………………..

The experience I could elaborate on making it a lot more than I had, but the qualifications, degrees, grades, uh uh, no, none, zilch, nada, zero. Not an O level, not a GCSE not an A level not a degree, certainly not a degree.

I stared at the empty bright white paper as if I was staring into the bowels of Hell itself and I felt the confidence drain out of my body.

I could lie, but what if the company asked for a copy of my qualifications, what an acute embarrassment, I would most certainly be dismissed when I could not produce them.

You see, I had left school at 15, because in 1964 and coming from a working-class hard-working family, where everyone had job’s, that is exactly what was expected from me. Leave school as soon as possible and get a job so that I could contribute to the family finances.

None of my school friends went on to further education, it was unheard of for young people like us. I left school on Friday and started work on the following Monday for a local firm who manufactured parts for engines.

Because I was ambitious, well presented and spoke well, I was fortunate to get a job in the offices doing wages. My family were beside themselves with pride and admiration. One of their family members had been given a job in an actual office and not in the smelly noisy factory where, up to then, the rest of the family had worked. They were so overjoyed that I remember my grandmother going to all the neighbours and telling them: -

‘’Our Susan has got a job in the offices, she’s doing all the wages you know, she is so clever, there is no telling where she will end up. She will probably be running the place before too long’’

I did not end up running the place, as my ambition grew I moved from company to company slowly but surely inching my way up the corporate ladder and up until the 1980’s it was working fine for me, slow but fine.

In the 1980’s I then married and became a mother to two children taking a five-year break from the corporate slog.

When I decided to return to the world of work it was a very different picture. Now prospective employers were asking for qualifications and this is where my nightmare began. I could not longer rely on my good looks and charm, oh no, now they wanted actual pieces of paper telling them how much I had studied and what exams I had passed….ummm, try none.

My desire to be successful, my natural intelligence, my easy-going personality was no longer enough. Now the bright white paper became my enemy and I had to come to terms with the fact that it always would be. I accepted jobs that a trained monkey could easily do and of course, the associated low wage that went with the monotonous mind-numbing tasks I did from 8am to 4pm every day.

In 1994 I joined a progressive company. My CV was heavily padded with my achievements to date and I did not make up any qualifications.

I felt absolutely overjoyed to be offered the position, it was of course at least three rungs down to where I thought I should be, but without any formal qualifications, I felt blessed to be offered such a job.

The company was heavily focused on having the best-trained staff in their field of operation. My boss asked me if I would like to obtain some qualifications and I believe I cried with joy.

Now, in an office setting that is not a good look, luckily for me, my boss was an older man who was married with four daughters, so having a young woman crying in front of him did not faze him in the slightest.

In November of that year, I travelled by train to the company’s prestigious training college in Northamptonshire. It was an imposing building, surrounded by manicured lawns, bright spacious rooms a library stacked floor to ceiling with books I had never heard of let alone have access to and a dining hall that was right out of Harry Potter. I loved it.

I stayed at the college for two weeks and attended it many times over the next five years. I felt more at home in this college than in my own home and if I could have moved in full time I would have.

My long-suffering husband and my Mother took it in turns to look after the children, who, honestly I did not give much mind to while I was in my studying heaven.

Over the next five years, I became a qualified Auditor, A qualified buyer and obtained a management degree. I felt that I had arrived in qualification heaven and so, although I was eternally grateful to my company for the gift, they had given to me, I decided to move on to an even bigger and grander role in London.

Now, when you have a job in London AND you have the right qualifications there is no stopping you, right?

Wrong.

My first interview went something like this.

‘’So, Susan, tell us about your qualifications’’ the lady smiled.

‘’I have three qualifications as you can see on my CV, Audit, Buying and Management’’ I smiled back, triumphant and self-satisfied.

‘’Hmmm, yes, I see, these were all obtained in your last company, correct?’’

‘’Correct’’

I was beaming now with absolute pride and satisfaction.

‘’So, you have no ….. formal qualifications, from school or University?’’ the lady asked, already knowing the answer.

I could not answer her, I felt all the familiar feelings of rejection and failure flooding back into my head and I thought I would either reach across the table and smash the woman in the face or pass out. I did neither.

Travelling back home on the train I had a heavy heart, this lack of ‘formal qualifications’ was never going to leave me.  It would not be an exaggeration to say that I had spent hours, turning into long days and a tremendous amount of effort attending the company college and studying to obtain my qualifications, for what? To be told yet again that I had no ‘formal qualifications’ by some snotty-nosed woman dressed like a throwback to the hippy era who had no recognisable personality or empathy whatsoever.

I had a major decision to make then and there and as frightening as it was, I knew I needed to make it.

So, I looked at the bright paper in front of me, could I go through this nightmare again, could I sit across a table with stony-faced pompous employers who had my fate in their hands…I decided then and there that enough was most definitely enough.   I ceremoniously ripped the bright white paper into as many pieces as I could manage and threw the pieces into the bin.

Then with the new resolve, I phoned the bank.

‘’Yes, hallo, can I make an appointment please to come and see you about a business loan. I want to open a business. It’s a courier service and yes, I am well qualified, I am an auditor a buyer and I have a management qualification.’’

The manager ushered me into his office and smiled at me with real empathy and I liked him instantly.

‘’Hello Susan, I’m Peter, please, take a seat. I have read your business plan and I must say that together with your excellent business plan and your first-class qualifications, the bank would be more than happy to give you the loan that you have requested. Also, I can offer you a free overdraft facility on your new business account for two years, provided of course that you do not go over your overdraft limit’’

Peter smiled again and held out his hand inviting me to shake it and to seal the deal.

My business began in 2009,

DANS VANS

Dan is my husband who is the Transport Director. We turn over £1.5 million a year with £350,000 in profit. We live a wonderful life free of application forms and snotty HR women.

When we take on new staff, we look at the person, their ambition, their work ethic, their personality.

Our work application looks like this: -

Name……………………………

Address………………………..

Email address……………….

Phone Number…………….

That is all we want to know.

Having an O level in English tells us nothing about the person.

We believe that not only have I successfully given my self a second chance but that we give second chances to everyone who applies to work for us.

Maybe I should have called the company SECOND CHANCES !!!!

So, if you ever find yourself looking for a great job and your qualifications are not what society would like them to be. Please give us a call, who knows you could be running our company in a couple of years, I do hope so, as we would like to retire at some stage. We look forward to hearing from you, here’s to all of us and to our second chances.

The End