Terms and Conditions

Terms and Conditions

“Ok Ella, last question:

What would you say your biggest challenge would be if you do get into the Big Brother program?” 

A giggle and whispers from the other candidates behind her.

Ella shifted, tilting her head as she pretended to ponder the question. The other girl had a cool manner, dark eyes piercing into Ella’s as though seeing through her insincerity, the girl’s sharp bob and dark rimmed glasses consciously edgy. Bet they don’t want ‘Not vaping for six months’, Ella thought. But what kind of candidate were they looking for? Could she take it if she was framed as a villain? 

Her mind flicked to the text she’d sent Max the week before, cancelling their third date. 

He hadn’t bothered to reply. 

Ghosted. Ella grimaced. Just another pretty boy. God, he thought he was so cute. Well, this would serve him right. Ghost her?

“Thanks, great question, Cleo,” Ella began. “As you know, I love my work as an Early Childhood Educator...” 

Cleo smiled thinly, one eyebrow raised. Ella remembered the girl watching her earlier that morning, sitting behind the front desk, as the parents bundled their children into the grubby creche.  At the moment, Ella realised that she would have preferred to lick the gym equipment clean than be near those kids. 

She took a deep breath. This could be the performance of her life. 

“I think the biggest challenge for me is how I’m going to miss my little charges, their gorgeous smiles and hugs, and all the fun we have together,” she said.

“That’s great, Ella.” 

Cleo shuffled the pages and looked around at the other desks of interviewees. Suddenly, surprisingly, she leaned forward to whisper. 

“I can’t say for sure, but I think your application is exactly what we’re looking for.” Her shingled hair swung as she sat back upright. “If you go and sit in the waiting room next door, someone will discuss the next stages with you.”

Beaming around at the other hopefuls, Ella thanked her and rose, striding to the door and pushing the door open to move into the empty room. She went to a window and took out her phone.  

“I’m through! Thanks for telling me about it. Don't wait up :p” Hopefully, she’d never have to go back to Mia’s awful dinky flat with her secondhand bed in a room that barely had enough space for a chair.

A text flashed on her phone.

“Congratulations. Don’t forget to send the rent through tomorrow.”

Ella sniffed. She was headed for better than Mia’s sectioned-off fridge and locked closet doors, Too bad Mia hadn’t bought herself better locks. Ella smoothed the wrinkles on the Versace she’d ‘borrowed’ from her flatmate. Such a good thing she’d heard about the interviews.

She locked her phone and put it on the table in front of her. The window framed massive blocks of grey apartment buildings surrounding the studio building. Footsteps came, the door opened, and a man with the whitest smile Ella had ever seen stood in front of her.

“Sorry Ella, no phone allowed for you right now!” He handed her some papers and a pen, scooping her phone off the table before she could blink. “You’ll have this back after you sign the NDA, but only after you’ve agreed to move forward in the program.” He tucked the phone into a cloth bag and zipped it shut, locking the end and pocketing the key. Gesturing to the papers, he smiled again, his teeth more than slightly unsettling. 

“These’ll take a while to get through. They make everyone do it, but it’s nearly 50 pages. Please take time to go through the full agreement and call out if you have any questions.

Back in a while.” 

Ella hardly noticed that his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

Had she made it in? How long was ‘a while?’ She leaned forward, hefting the papers into her lap. 

Jesus, this stuff would take her a year to read. 

She inspected the front page as the man left the room, the vacuum hiss of the door the only sound as she was left alone. There appeared to be yellow tags throughout the stack. She glanced at the first tag and found an arrow pointing to where she should sign. 

Well, that was going to save her a bit of effort.

Flipping to the final page, she skimmed to the last sentences.

“Congratulations on being a successful contestant on the World First: Big Brother 2054!”

That was all she needed to know. 

Picking up the pen, she clicked the end, popping out the nib and carefully signing in her neatest writing. As she flipped through the pages to sign at each yellow tag, Ella’s mind whirled with images of herself dressed in beautiful clothes, adoring fans shouting her name, cameras flashing and music pumping. 

She was so ready for this.

She finished the bundle of pages, her signature a mere scrawl by the end. She threw the papers on the table and lounged against the soft couch, staring out of the window at the duplicated buildings, their blank walls a landscape of terraced nothingness. 

When was he coming back?

A noise at the door. 

‘Finished? So fast! We love an eager beaver!” His laugh grated, and Ella forced a smile, rising to her feet.

 “Okay, let’s get this show on the road!” He grabbed the documents and turned to the door. “Come with me, we have lunch waiting for you in the Vestibule Area – it's where we ask successful candidates to wait. and you might like a trip to the Powder Room first?”

His language was odd. So outdated!  His use of the archaic terms was a good indication that he was a two-gender. Probably a flat-earther too, Ella sneered to herself, as she followed him down a series of corridors, past blank doors, and past cubicles of people plugged into computers, some wearing those blocky headsets for conference calls.

“Here we are!” 

In front of her in the new room was a table full of food and drink, and a door at the back had the universal sign indicating a restroom. The man held out a package.

“Here’s your phone. Please use this hour to rest, eat, and say your goodbyes. We will of course be monitoring your calls, but only for security purposes. We will not be broadcasting these, so don’t feel like you must put on a show.” The man handed Ella her phone and gestured to the table. Ella noticed again his mechanical movements, and realised, uneasily, that he was a drone. Probably programmed to make the oldies feel comfortable. 

She scowled.

“We have a selection of your indicated favourites, and we hope you enjoy this last abundance for a while. As you know, the next few months will require some adjustments to your regular expectations.” He laughed again. 

Of course, they would have the bizarre food challenges and restrictions, just to provoke contestants into providing entertainment for viewers. 

She could handle it.

He left the room, and Ella was startled at the distinct sound of the door locking. She moved over and tested the handle, but it wouldn't budge. 

Maybe, she thought, some contestants got cold feet after their goodbyes? 

Well, not this girl.

Ella used the restroom, noticing that her hair still looked as though she’d just had it styled, and saw how her borrowed Versace dress rippled like black water over her curves. 

Perfect. 

She’d look amazing in the first episode.

Back at the table, Ella reached for a platter, noticing they had her favourite cheese, truffle brie. She hadn’t been able to afford to eat like this for ages, and before long the brie had been demolished along with fatty prosciutto and dense, chewy bread. She gulped some Coke, and as the bubbles tickled her nose, pressed one of her brothers’ names. The phone rang without picking up. Typical - always too busy to answer her calls!

She fumed, considered calling another of her brothers but shaking her head, picked up the phone and dialled. Her mother would be there.

Ella snorted at the gravelly softness of the answering message.

“You’ve reached Marley. Please leave a message.” 

Yeah, maybe mum would have picked up, if she was Claire, her perfect older sister, or one of her overachieving brothers. 

“Hi Mum.” 

Ella forced sweetness into her voice, instead of the bitterness she felt roiling inside her. “By now, you’re probably wondering where I am. It might be a while before I can talk to you, as I’ve been selected for a top-secret program, and you might not see me for a while except on the screen.” 

How much could she get away with sharing? She continued. “You’re not going to like my choice, but it’s something I’ve wanted to do forever.” 

She smiled as she imagined the post-show deals she’d be able to score, and all the brands who would want to vie for position on her socials. “I hope you can respect my decision and be supportive. Anyway, tell everyone I said to keep an eye out for me in unexpected places, and oh…” as she recalled her roommate. “Can you tell Mia I’ve moved out? She can keep my stuff. Bye!”

Ella hung up and powered down her phone, her eyes blurring. She hadn't realised how tired she was, but clearly the early start and rigorous day of interviews had taken it out of her. 

Nothing to do now but wait. 

As she closed her eyes, her last thought was of how the beds in the Big Brother program always looked so much nicer than her own.

She woke to a strange, mechanical voice. 

“Tick-tock, seven o'clock, time to get up, time to get up, seven o'clock!”

Ella scrunched up her face at the eerily familiar sound, offended at the volume and the early hour of the day.

Was this the worst hangover of all time? 

Her head pounded as she heaved herself into a seated position, realising in dismay that she was no longer clad in the glorious Versace, but a drab set of grey pyjamas. 

When did she get changed? 

Had she gotten so drunk that she’d forgotten the first night in the house?

She peered around, blinking to clear her sleep-ridden eyes, and flinched at the confined walls of the room. 

Just as she felt her head swirling, the voice returned - but this time it sounded distinctly like Tom Holland, the almost- 60-year-old actor purported to be the voice of the last two Big Brothers (despite the massive ratings failure that his last feature, ‘Spiderman, Old Person’s Home’ had been). 

“Good morning, contestants, and welcome to Big Brother 5054!” 

The voice echoed around the cramped quarters of Ella’s room, and she winced again. 

“If you look to the right of your cot, you will find a serum. Please take this to help alleviate the effects of the mild sedative and anti-g force drug you ingested on earth.” 

Her head whipped up, looking for the voice. Was this a practical joke? 

“After you have taken the serum, you will feel much better. It consists of Olanzapine to help with the nausea, as well as NASA’s latest neutralisers for typical space issues such as microgravity, atmospheric issues and blood pressure, and a range of the latest antioxidants to target that pesky space radiation.” The voice sounded upbeat, but Ella’s head spun. Her limbs shaky, she moved off the bed and found a bottle of glowing green fluid. She popped the lid and sniffed. 

Lime. Why was medicine these days always lime?

She chugged the drink, surprised at the immediate loosening of the tension in her neck and head.  

“When you are ready, return the bottle to the chute and press down. It will be conveyed to our recycling centre for your next beverage.”

Ella closed the lid back onto the bottle and placed it onto the grey surface, pressing gently. A hiss and snap had her leaping back and sitting abruptly on the bed as the bottle shot through the mechanical trapdoor and disappeared. She sat on her shaking hands, and wondered if this was some stunt to get them all weeping on the first night.

She wouldn’t crack.

“Now, contestants,” Tom’s voice crackled through the intercom again, and Ella perked up. 

It was definitely him! She hadn’t watched all his latest interviews for nothing, hoping to figure out how to get on his good side. 

It always made a difference if the Host had your back. 

“Your room has been attuned to your own voiceprint. When you would like to receive your first vidcam from home, just ask. Once you’ve finished, come and meet your fellow Big Brother- ISS crew on the Observation deck for your first look at us all back here on Old Earth!”

Ella shook her head at his broadcast, wondering how long they would string this particular ruse out. It must be some hook to pull in the ratings. 

Oh well, she could play along.

“Ok then room, play me a vidcam from my parents.”

“Certainly, Ella. Please cast your eyes to my left wall.”

Ella raised her eyebrows. They’d clearly gone all out with the budget for this. She shivered in anticipation, her thoughts turning again to dreams of flashing paparazzi and lavish gifts from admirers. A crackle of static brought her back to the present, and she turned to look at the projection on the grey wall. Her mother and father stood proudly staring through the screen, her father’s arm around her mother's shoulders as though for support.

“Ella, darling, we are so proud of you.” Her mother’s voice cracked, and Ella froze. 

Proud? 

That didn’t sound right.

“When Tom called us to let us know you’d accepted a position on the Bradbury, at first we thought he had the wrong Ella.” 

She sniffed. “But your voicemail came through to me right as your father was about to hang up, and honey, we are just thrilled to the moon.” Her Médecins Sans Frontières mother gave an uncharacteristically hysterical giggle, and Ella felt as though she had been doused with iced water. 

There was no way this was real.

“We are so proud, honey!” Her father’s booming voice echoed through the chamber. “To be one of the first people of the Bradbury Nation!” His voice cracked, and Ella was dumbfounded at the realisation he was crying. “Well, honey. We take back every harsh word we’ve said this past year. We should have known better. You’re a Ghez after all, through and through.”

Ella rolled her eyes at the mention of the old scientist her family loved to claim a connection to. Some distant fifth cousin, barely a blood relative.

The rest of their recording rolled over her like a cloud and Ella abruptly rose, rushing to the door in the minimalist grey room. 

Why was everything bloody grey?

“We will pause your messages until your return,” the disembodied voice crackled, and before she pushed open the door, Ella spoke to the room once more.

“If this is space travel, why on EARTH did you choose me?”

The room was quiet for a moment, and then the voice rang out, eerily loud.

“Your love of childcare invalidated your less admirable qualities.” 

“WHAT?” Ella screeched. She smacked her hand flat against the door, her head exploding with the shock, but the voice spoke firmly again. 

“Ella. You won your position after your interesting interview. The panel felt your answers, although inconsistent, demonstrated your sincerity in seeking a space where you can fulfil your purpose. You have been selected to ...ah... populate the Bradbury and lead the way in childrearing in the New World.”

Ella slammed the door behind her, forcing her shaky legs to stride along the dim hallway. 

A soft, golden glow appeared up ahead. 

As she strode from the hallways into the large room, her legs buckled, and she felt her arms flailing against the walls for support. Across from the hallway shone a trio of windows the size of her family’s house. 

The never-ending darkness of space stretched before her eyes, peppered with glowing balls of light and an unmistakable blue and green jewel of a globe. 

A now-receding globe. 

Ella staggered across the floor, reaching her hands out to press flat on the composite glass, not leaving a smudge despite her sweating palms.

She stared out, noticing a satellite floating close by, like something out of a movie. 

“Let me guess...Ella?” 

Ella whirled at a voice near her elbow. 

An unmistakable face grinned back at her.

“You didn’t read the terms and conditions properly either?” 

Max patted her on the back, and she gaped at him, her shock at her own predicament paling in the face of this fresh surprise.

“You… you ghosted me for this?”

He looked at her with exaggerated offence. 

“I would never.” 

He looked around at the silent observation deck, and then laughed. “At least, not on purpose. They took my phone before I was able to let you know about it all.” 

He nudged her, and she gulped. “I did tell you I was thinking of trying out, remember?”

Ella felt a warmth creep over her skin. She had forgotten how they’d talked about the auditions! Of course. 

Max. 

Yeah, maybe he was cute.

As he took her hand and started showing her around the huge observation deck, Ella thought of the piles of bills jammed into her dresser, and her cramped, monotonous life. 

Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.