Can I be Forgiven?

It happened way too fast. There was no way I could stop what was about to happen and even if there was, I would have been unable. I was too preoccupied, too caught up in my mind, with what I was doing in that minute . . . too worried about myself to even pay attention and care about the others around me. It was like I was blind with my thoughts and I could see only after the accident. If we can call it that.

    This road really has not a lot of traffic. It's quiet. And it's supposed to be safe. A few families had set up and called this place home. Surrounded by trees, farms, a river, and a tiny park for the children.

    Had I been paying attention I would have seen the small boy playing by the park. He was kicking around a soccer ball and laughing. Acting like the child he was meant to be.

I did not see the ball or the child race into the road.

What I did hear was the sudden noise. The sound of a thump, the brakes of my car, and the screams that followed still haunt me in my sleep. I awoke drenched in sweat and heart-racing . . . once I wake up from those sounds, I cannot get back to sleep. The ghost of the past is what haunts me.

    The sudden noise made me come back to this reality. It made me come back and see that I was driving. That I had just hit something. Breaks screeching, I panicked. I got out of the car, shaking and sick to my stomach. I whispered under my breath "Please, God . .”

A scream came from over in the park and I saw a woman running towards my car. That is when I knew . . . I slowly made my way to the back of the car, my legs wobbly and unsure whether or not they could continue to support me. The first thing I saw was the soccer ball, instead of the basic black and white, it was blue and red. My stomach dropped as my eyes found their way to the child who was flat on the ground. His mother knelt down besides him. Her eyes, red and with tears, glanced up at me.

"W-why?" Her voice quivered.

I felt myself becoming more uneasy. My brain racing and my limbs working harder than before to keep me up, to keep me awake. Yet, my legs gave up and I collapsed to the ground. I, too, started to cry.

A man ran over and told the woman, who I later found out was his wife, that he had called for help. His dark brown eyes glared at me. One look at that man and you could tell that he was holding himself together for his wife.

"What were you doing that was so important? Huh?"

I opened my mouth but no words came out. My throat felt dry, my chest was tight and I could not breathe.

    The parents did not press charges and I was free to walk. I still felt horrible about how I hurt them. To some people this may have been an awful idea, but I contacted the parents and asked for us to meet. Thankfully, they agreed. We met in town at a small café.

"Thank you for coming" I said to the couple. They just nodded in sync. "I know that it may not mean much but I wanted to say how sorry I was again. I was selfish and dumb and awful . . . I could go on and on. I hate myself and still feel pain over it. I was so uncaring when I was behind the wheel" I whimpered.

The mother replied coldly at first, "It's fine. You learned a lesson, right?"

"I did. I assure you that I will never in my life be distracted again, behind the wheel or even not behind the wheel. Vigilant."

"Good. Remember, car accidents happen more than plane crashes. Many lives are stolen from people who were distracted or drunk. Please, be more careful. You're still young. Don't waste your life."

I nodded. My heart beating faster and faster the more we spoke.

"I-" I began to speak but the woman raised her hand to silence me.

"We forgive you. It took us awhile, I won't lie. We had to talk to each other and we looked within ourselves. So yes, we forgive you because our hearts should not be filled with hate. We also forgive you because of him" she smiled and pointed towards the cafés door. I turned and an elderly woman walked inside. She was holding hands with a little boy who grinned from ear to ear. He bolted over to our table and hugged both of them. It took me second to realize that this boy was the one I had hit. A lump formed within my throat.

"Hello" he quietly said. I waved and said hello back.

"Forgive me because of him? What do you mean?"

"He told us that he heard you crying. And that even though he didn't know you, he knew you were hurt too."

The child nodded while his mother spoke.

"He may be young but he is wise. He said everyone deserves a second chance and he's right. We have granted you a second chance to better yourself. Be one of the people who uses it wisely for it does not happen often."

"T-t-thank you" I sobbed.

They said nothing as they rose from the table. Before they left the boy smiled at me "You be good". He grabbed his mother's hand and they left. I sat in the café and began to cry. 

I was gifted a second chance by the child I almost killed. I almost took his life but in return he gave me my life back. I promised that I would use this for good, live a good life, and never be distracted again. And I intend to keep that promise.