Incel Aggression

TW: Not Christian Like Content (lol), 18+, Violence

I wake up in the morning and know something is off. After pushing back the black hair that fell in my face during the night, I stretch and make myself get out of bed. Black bra covered by a black shirt, black panties under my black shorts, I step into the bathroom and start taking on the bird’s nest of snarls. Black lipstick, an even darker black on my eye lids, and two beautiful wisps of black eyeliner later, I am almost ready for the day. Hopping around trying to put on the six-inch black heals, I grab one of the blueberry granola bars from the kitchen counter with my teeth and almost fall over. What a start to the day.

“Angie!!!” Brittany basically screams in my ear, “I’m so glad you’re here! I was worried you weren’t going to come back after what happened last week.”

I roll my eyes, “I’m not going to let that creep stop me from making money.”

Brittany smiles but eyes my outfit, “You’re already in outfit?”

“I slept through my alarm; I knew I wouldn’t have time to change.” Brittany’s smile falls, “Jammie is going to pick me up after my shift, I don’t have to walk home or anything. It’s fine, really.” I reassure her. Her smile returns but I can't bring myself to smile back. “It is strange though; I woke up this morning with the feeling that something bad is going to happen.”

“You’re just worried because this is your first time back since Li-“

“Don’t speak his name” I cut in.

“All right….” Brittany says with her hands in the air, a line of worry over her brow again, “This is your first time back since the ‘event’.”

I chuckle, “Smooth, Britt, very smooth. Really though, something seems off.”

“I’m pretty sure the only thing off is you.” Jessica cuts in, pushing past me in a slim sparkly red dress that barely covers her ass, “I’m surprised you’re back so soon, with what Liam did to you and all that…” nose in the air, and not a molecule of shame in her perfect body, she was not someone to usually get under my skin but her words make me shiver.

“Let’s not – “ Brittany starts but the music cuts off.

“That’s my cue, but honestly, nothing seems…. Off… to either of you?” I ask while walking backwards towards the curtains. With headshakes from both of them, I spin on my toes and step through the red.

“Now welcoming to the stage, Willow Rainn!” I change my walk to a strut and sway my way over to the pole. I pose with my hands on the pole above my head and my right leg a little further out then the left. One, two, three, four, and Rosenfield’s ‘Do it for Me’ starts. My right leg swings back and I spin.

*Show me how* my hands move up and my feet lift off the ground.

*Show me how you like it done* I do a tight spiral down and go into a split at the bottom.

*You’re all mine* I whip up to my knees and know the crowds favorite is coming, filling me with the anticipation of having all eyes me.

*I’ll make you feel like you’re the one* arms crossed over each other, I grab the edges of my top and whip my hair around.

*Take off your clothes* My hands go over my head, taking off my shirt. I toss it to the side.

*Give me your trust* I grip the pole and arch my back, pulling myself to my feet.

*Look me in the eyes and confess your lust* Keeping one hand on the pole, I sway around it before dropping my skirt.

*Get on you’re* before the next line finishes, and right as I’m once again whipping my hair around, the front door slams open and my eyes meet his. The music is still playing but I can no longer hear it, making me thankful that I practiced this so many times in my living room. Spin, strut, spin, strut, iron x, stretch, climb, jade, spin, strut, spin, strut, climb, twist into a music box, my body knows what to do.

I let myself go on autopilot and hear a few men near by making comments on my body. I smile, knowing they will give out good tips, bachelor parties always do. Once I lose track of Liam in the crowd, I feel myself reenter my body, putting more energy into my moves and making eye contact with the audience. Then it happens.

“Gun!” Someone yells from my left and I immediately drop down to the floor. Two shots back to back and then screams. Screams of absolute terror and bodies pushing against each other, I stay on the ground in shock. Then, like Moses parting the Red Sea, Liam steps into my line of sight and stops, an empty glass in one hand and a gun in the other.

I stare at him, he stares at me, and out of the corner of my eye I see red spreading out. I don't want to drop his gaze, but my horrid curiosity gets the best of me and I turn my head. Britt, laid out on the ground, a puddle of red around her head, a scream sketched on her face but no sound will ever leave those plump pretty lips again. Looking back at Him, at Liam, my eyes swell with tears. “Why…” I choke out, not knowing how loud or how quietly I actually said the word. “Why….” I ask again before he throws the empty glass on the ground, shattering it.

“Oh, I’ll tell you why, you fucking slut!” the words are followed by droplets of spit from his mouth, “I’ll fucking tell you why!” I try to crawl back, but he grabs my ankles and pulls me back to him. I try to kick at him, but he positions himself over my body, sitting down heavily, trapping me beneath him just as he had done not even a week earlier. “You…. you fucking bitch of a whore, tried to deny me! ME! All I ever wanted was to feel a women against me but even YOU denied me!" The smell of his stale breath and whiskey hits me in the face. Tears fill his eyes. "Do you think I WANT to do this? Do you think this brings me joy! If you had just submitted, neither of us would be in this fucking mess!”

A calmness comes over me as he presses the gun to my head, his tears falling onto my chest. I know he's going to pull the trigger, there's no doubt in my mind. I let him continue his rant but keep silent as I think about my life. The parents who had abandoned me with my druggie uncle who had his way with me whenever he wanted, even letting his friends do the same if it scored him a eighth. How it took me eight years to escape by jumping the train, and the shitty life I had made for myself since then. I know that others would be thinking about their future at a time like this, but the gun to my head only brings me relief. This is my end. All of this pain and torture, and bills, and work, and crappy men, and the dirty one bedroom apartment I live in, it would all be gone soon.

A shot rings out, and blood splatters my bra and bare skin. I smile. Then quickly, I frown. A heavy weight on top of me and the cold metal of a gun pressing against my left temple makes it known that I am, in fact, alive. “You’re welcome” Jessica’s snotty voice cuts through my thoughts as she push's Liam’s body off of mine. I sigh, I really needed tonight’s money, and Liam had once again ruined it. Now I would need to pick up extra shifts to make rent on time. I stand up, pick up my shirt, and walk towards the entrance. I take one last look at Britt, then step out into the cool air to wait for the officers that would be arriving soon.

The only relief I feel from being alive is that he didn't win. Not this time. Deep in my heart I knew, though, that there would always be men like him, and there might not be a Jessica to save the next innocent girl.