The Ring

“The Ring”

By Lindsey Moore

“Sleigh bells ring…are ya listenin’? In the lane…snow is glistenin’!”

              “Alexa…stop!” Ellen shouted. Even the smooth silky voice of Mr. Crosby couldn’t pull her out of her funk today. With just 9 days until Christmas, Ellen found herself with a familiar feeling of dread. You would think after 14 years of going through the holidays without Mom things would start to get a little easier. But here she was, over a decade later; the ache of loss unchanged. No 13 year-old girl should have to see her mother go through debilitating chemo treatments, or have to hold her hair back as she vomits into the trash can every morning. No 13 year-old girl should have to see her mother’s vibrant smile fade and her strong, healthy body wither away until she was almost unrecognizable. However, this was Ellen’s reality. Her mother, her best friend, her confidante – was gone now. The feeling of what was left her empty inside. Why is it that this time of year is so much harder? She thought. In an attempt to make it easier, she tried her best to tell herself that Christmas was just another day. In her heart she knew this couldn’t be farther from the truth. Memories began flooding back and tears stung her eyes. 

              “Make sure you write your last name,” Mom reminded, “we don’t want any mix-ups at the North Pole!” At six years old she carefully printed S-A-M-P-S-O-N and excitedly grinned at Mom. Ellen managed a half smile as she thought of her mother’s excitement during the Christmas season. One-on-one trips to Macy’s to find the perfect gift for Grandma, wrapping presents together while the Oakridge Boys played softly in the background, planning the neighborhood Christmas party over a steamy cup of hot chocolate.  Then there was Ellen’s favorite: Staying in pajamas well past the time it socially acceptable. As she was fondly remembering past holidays, Brody’s “Shape of You” ringtone jolted her back to the present. Brody! Shoot, I was supposed to meet him at Cirello’s for a late dinner, Ellen realized. 

              “Brody! I’m so sorry! I completely forgot our dinner date. I’ve just had a lot on my mind.” 

              “Are you ok, Elle? I know this is a rough time of year without your mom. And the stress of planning our wedding…maybe it’s just too much right now.” He acknowledged.

              “No! I’ve got this, “ Ellen insisted, “ I just need a little more time. When Christmas is over I’ll focus on our wedding plans – I promise,” reassured Ellen. “I just…I miss my mom.”

              “I’m coming over,” Brody responded lovingly. Before Ellen could resist, he hung up the phone and was on his way. 

              When Brody arrived at the apartment he let himself in and found Ellen sitting inside a scattering of wet tissues, her face stained with tears. He immediately tossed his keys on the counter and crouched down to embrace her. 

              “Elle, I’m so sorry. I should have realized. I know this has always been your special time together. I’m sorry if I have been pressuring you about wedding details. My mom has just been on my ass to set a date so she can tell all of her hoity-toity club friends our big news. We can take all the time you need.” He soothed as he gently massaged her shoulders.

              “Don’t be sorry. You know I’m over the moon about becoming Mrs. Stephenson. I’m looking forward to it more than anything.” She reassured. “It’s just making me miss her even more. She has missed so much already. And now she will miss the biggest day of my life.” Her voice trembled.

              “Babe, I believe she is looking down on you an she will be there in spirit. She will always be there.” Ellen buried her head in his chest and the memories again came rushing back. Now she was in her childhood kitchen wearing a pink “Little Princess” apron while her mother opted to wear her favorite snowman sweatshirt. They wore these every year like a baking uniform helping them to achieve bakery-level goods. Ellen was remembering the Swedish Tea Ring the two would make every year. Mom learned from her mother, and the tradition was lovingly passed down. Ellen’s mother was such a pro when it came to making the delicate dough, no recipe was required. Now Ellen racked her brain wondering if she could still remember the process.

              “You know, my mom and I always used to bake together. Every year we made this heavenly Swedish Tea Ring. How I wish I could taste that yummy tea ring now.” Ellen reminisced

              “Do it.” He said.

              “What?”

              “Make the tea ring!”

              “Oh, I don’t even remember the recipe.” Ellen explained.

              “I bet you remember more than you think you do, “ Brody suggested. “It might make you feel more connected to your mom.

              “Maybe I will – in the morning.” Ellen replied, excited about the idea of revisiting an old family favorite and sweet memories of her mother.

              “My stomach and I are very excited about this,” Brody joked while pulling her to her feet. “Now let’s go to bed.”

              As her head hit the pillow she squirmed her way closer to the love of her life. She felt lucky – no, blessed, to be marrying such a wonderful man. She couldn’t help but think about how much her mother would have loved Brody. 

              The next morning she awoke to the smell of Starbucks and a note on the pillow next to her.

              “I had to go in to the office today. I can’t wait to taste the famous Sampson Tea Ring! See you tonight! Love, Brody”

              Ellen sprung out of bed with a renewed sense of joy. She felt the familiar feeling of anticipation she felt so many years ago before partaking in the annual Christmas baking day with Mom. Every year they would set aside the Sunday before Christmas to bake their goodies. The two worked tirelessly from the time they got up until their stomachs grumbled with hunger. After working up an appetite, a quick call to Pizza Hut was in order. As she began filling her counter with flour, sugar, baking soda, cinnamon and butter, she thought about how Mom always pulled out festive poinsettia plates to eat their delicious pizza on. It was such a simple thing, but one that would stick with Ellen forever.

              To Ellen’s surprise her hands began measuring and mixing almost as if she never took a break from their baking days. She began proofing the yeast and pulled out a small bowl for the glaze. Though just last night she worried about remembering the special recipe, she now realized she had nothing to worry about. Along with the delightful memories of her mother, came the instinctual steps: Proof yeast, add 2 eggs, ¼ cup sugar, 1 teaspoon salt, and ¼ cup oil. She did this almost automatically and she felt her mother’s presence in her tiny kitchen.

              She worked the dough with her hands and she began imagining what her life would be like after she and Brody wed. She couldn’t help envisioning herself with a daughter of her own. Ellen would be just like her own mother – warm, funny, and loving. As she stretched and rolled the pliable dough she dreamed of carrying on the Swedish Tea Ring tradition with her own daughter and her insides became warm.

              Ellen was lost in the thought until the timer rang out. She pulled the delectable ring from the oven. Golden brown, it looked like a picture out of a Taste of Home magazine. The smells of cinnamon filled her nostrils and her stomach grumbled.

              “Alexa, play Christmas music!” She commanded as she began to whisk the vanilla glaze.

              “I don’t want a lot for Christmas…” Mariah belted. Ellen felt herself spontaneously break into dance around the small kitchen island. She also gave in to the urge to sing along like she and Mom had so many times before. She suddenly felt connected to her mom in a way she hadn’t for quite some time. It was nice.

              “Elle! Pizza delivery!” Brody announced as he let himself in and walked into her mess of a kitchen. She saw the Pizza Hut box and she enveloped him in a giant bear hug.

              “Wow! Looks like dessert is covered, “he said while admiring her tea ring.

              “I love you so much,” Ellen replied. In that moment she felt so grateful for the time she had with her mother. She felt lucky to have had 13 years with the world’s best mom. Her reflections of the past moved toward her future. She was getting ready to marry the kindest, most thoughtful man. She had so much to look forward to. Ellen pulled away just enough to kiss Brody’s soft, warm lips. She knew this man would be by her side always and forever. Just like the love and memories of her mother.