A Valedictorian's Wish

It's been years, so many years.  My brother, Brian, went missing when I was only seven, he was 10.  I remember him fondly, he was like my best friend.  Now as I am ready to graduate High School I can't help but think of him and how proud he would be of me for  being elected Valedictorian.  I sure wish he was here to see me and hear my speech.

It happened 8 years ago, on Christmas Eve.  We decided we wanted to sneak out and make snow angels before we had to go to bed.  Mom and dad were in the living room making sure everything was just right for the next morning when our grandparents would show up to celebrate with us. So, we used the back door and headed out. 

It was snowing, light and fluffy snowflakes that are so much fun to catch with your tongue. I can still taste them and see us standing there with our mouths wide open.  We had to be fast and get back to bed, so we laid down in the middle of the yard and made our angels. I got up first and went to go to the house and Brian said " I just wanna go out front and see the lights again before bed", I told him to be quick and headed into my room.

We haven't seen him since!

We searched for weeks and weeks, but there were no clues anywhere, It was like he just vanished into thin air.  We know that couldn’t have happened, we still have some sanity left.  No one saw or heard anything, they say.  But someone had to. We still update his posters and pictures on milk cartons and use social media to look for him.  But we still have not received any clue to where he could be or what might have happened to him.  In our hearts we know though, that he is still alive somewhere.

Christmas was never the same and we seemed to almost forget about it as the years went by.  No one knew what happened or where he went that night.  I should have never left him. 

No one blames me, they say, I was the younger one he should've made sure I got in safely not the  other way around, or at least that"s what they tell me, I sometimes feel they are just saying it though to make me feel better.  I think of him often and still talk to his picture regularly, especially as I have grown older.  I like to think he will still give me advice if I talk to him, silly isn't it. Every time I see a shooting star I wish he would come home.

The newspaper put a picture of me on the front page this week, congratulating me on being valedictorian.  The title read “Valedictorian Elect is the sister of missing boy from 8 years ago”, with a picture of the 2 of us. Kind of put a damper on my accomplishment, but a great reminder that things can change in a heartbeat.  Oh, how I miss him.  In my speech, I commented on expecting the unexpected and never giving up.  These subjects really hit home as we think about him daily.  

I plan on being a detective and maybe then someone can find my brother.  I look at every boy I think would be his age and try to see some resemblance or a hint of recognition, but to no avail.  His room stayed the same for a long time and we went in nightly just to smell him.  No clothes were picked up, no toys put away, just hoping he would just show up as he had vanished that Christmas Eve.

Throughout the years, I played ball, sang in choir, did some musicals and had many boyfriends.  Softball was in honor of Brian.  He is the one who taught me to throw, catch and hit the ball. I was a pitcher and I know he would Love my fastball.  I even hit a homerun, my last season.  The boyfriend situations never lasted long. I think I was looking more for a brotherly relationship than a romantic one.  Maybe one day I will get my brother back and can finally have  a normal relationship with a guy. Fingers crossed!

On the eve of my graduation, I can’t help but wonder what he would’ve looked like at his grad and if he would’ve gotten to be valedictorian too.  I feel he has guided me to this point in my life.  We missed so much of his life that we can never get back if/when we get him back.

I go to my closest to look at my dress one more time, it is so beautiful.  It is red, Brian’s favorite color.  It is lace, with a sweetheart neckline and fitted with a  slit up to my knee, he probably wouldn’t approve lol.  I am putting a single green rose in my hair, in honor of Brian’s life and hopefully peace for us all one day.  Therefore I am also in Christmas colors for him too.  My shoes are gold stilettos with a dainty strap.  For jewelry I am wearing my sister necklace Brian gave me when I was 5.  It is a little gaudy, but it is very special to me.  I also have a pair of pearl earrings my mom lent me.  Mom says I will look magnificent and that Brian would think so too.

Well it’s time for bed.  I go to my window and look out before I climb into my bed.  I see a shooting star and make the same wish I have made for the past 8 years, but add a little something.  “ I wish Brian would come home...for my graduation”. Then I give a little laugh, because it hasn’t worked in 8 years, why would it work now.  Goodnight.

I wake up the next morning, feeling different somehow.  It’s like  a weight has been lifted, but nothing has changed. I am so excited about today, it’s the end of my past and beginning of my future.  I hop in the shower and start getting ready.  I go over my speech like 3000 times, it’s gotta be perfect. Finally it is time to go.

I am sitting on stage waiting for my time to say my speech.  Looking out over the crowd, I can’t believe the number of people here, But still don’t locate the one face I wish the most to see.  They are now announcing my name and I stand to go up to the podium.  I get here and search the crowd once more, no luck, so I begin my speech looking into my mom and dads faces.  They seem so proud but with a touch of sadness, permanently etched there too. I continue on, it is dead silent and as I begin to wrap up my speech, I scan the crowd again.  Standing at the end of the aisle is a young man, so handsome and proud, with a silly grin on his face, just like Brian used to have.  I quickly finish and go running.

Everyone is staring at me like I am crazy.  Mom and Dad are scared they will lose me too so come running after me.  We hear the whispers, “they were always a little crazy after their son disappeared”. I go running up to this man and tentatively say “Brian”. He just grins and grabs me in a bear hug. It really is him. Mom and Dad are crying so loudly, no one can hear us.  It seems he saw the newspaper article and recognized the picture of the 2 of us and he came home.  My wish came true!

Stay tuned for Brian’s story!