A Sleepy Misunderstaning

I glanced at Gavin's sleeping face and frowned. He was always sleeping. Why couldn't he just manage to stay awake? He couldn't even manage a few waking hours. Not even our daughter's graduation! I huffed and turned my gaze back to the stage. I watched hundreds of alumni walk across the stage to receive their diplomas before they got to my Katie. Katie looked so pretty in her cap and gown, well as pretty as anyone could in the ugly mustard yellow gowns. She stumbled across the stage. She had always been clumsy.

I remembered when she was in fifth grade, she had been so determined to learn the dance step that would be required in the school play. It was a simple dance step and any child should have been able to learn it quickly. Not my Katie. I tried to teach it to her for weeks with no success. The day of the play was coming up and I still tried to work with her, but she still wasn't getting it. At this point, she had gotten so discouraged and I started to get a bit worried. I didn't want her to get embarrassed when she was the only one who didn't know how to do the very simple dance, but I was running out of options. The night before the play came and she still did not know the dance. I decided to give her a good night's rest instead of feeling trying to help her understand the moves. I was tired and retired early as usual. Gavin had not come to bed until late in the night though this was normal. He had slept through most of the play and only awoke when it was time for the dance number. As Katie came onto the stage I was blown away by how well she performed. It was as if all of my hard work teaching her had suddenly hit her. She was the best dancer on the stage!

Katie took her seat beside the rest of the students with last names starting with W. I glanced at Gavin and was surprised him wide awake. He didn't speak but just stared and watched the speeches being made. I had no idea if he saw Katie graduate or not. I honestly was done watching him sleep through our daughter's life and didn't feel bad for him if he missed it.

I yawned and shut off the telly, preparing to go to bed. Katie's graduation was tomorrow and I wanted to be able to stay awake for it. I pushed myself out of my chair when Katie came into the room. She clutched her graduation gown in her hands. Her face was stained with tears and I furrowed my brow. "Katie? what's wrong?" I asked her as she walked towards me.

"I-I ripped the s-seam" She choked out. I knew she had been very anxious about her graduation and this was just one more thing that she was stressing about. It was late, around 9:00 pm already but I sat her down and got my sewing stuff out. I had a knack for needle and thread. My buddies used to tease me for being able to sew but I was glad I had the skill now so I could help my baby girl. I started to hand stitch the gown as the fabric was very thin and I was worried my old machine would butcher the delicate silk. We sat in the kitchen sewing the gown up. We talked as I sewed. She was worried that she would lose her friends when she went to college. She had gotten into Standford but most of her friends were going to Columbus State University. It was near midnight when we both finally went to bed. This instance among others reminded me of the time when Katie needed to learn a dance for some school play. Imogene had tried to teach her the steps but Imogene wasn't very patient and most of their practice sessions ended in a breakdown. It was the night before the performance when little Katie who still wore her hair in two pleats came to me and begged me to teach her the steps. I was not much of a dancer but after watching Imogene demonstrate the simple dance steps to Katie almost every day for weeks it was easy. By the end of the night, Katie was like a ballerina, twirling around the room. The next day I was very tired from staying up all night. I regret not being able to see the whole play but I woke up in time to see my Katie perform the dance perfectly. She was so proud of herself that day. I was proud of her too.

Katie rushed into Gavin's arms after receiving her diploma. She hugged me as well. "Congratulations Katie," I told her. She beamed at me and at her father. Why was she smiling at him? He slept through most of it anyway. We walked out to the car and Gavin drove us to Ellios, the restaurant we always go-to for special occasions. I tried to ignore the fact that Gavin still looked sleepy, for Katie's sake. I was never a patient women and I was at the end of my rope with Gavin. We entered the restaurant and ate our meal. Gavin congratulated Katie and they talked about her upcoming move to Stanford. I chimmed in every now and then. It wasn't until late that night that I approached Gavin about my frustrations. He was sitting on his Lazy Boy watching the telly like always.

"Did you even see Katie graduate?" I asked him. My arms were tightly crossed over my chest. "If you want to sleep through your own life that's one thing but I am DONE with you sleeping through Katie's" I spat. He sat up in his chair.

"What are you talking about?" He asked. As if he didn't know! The audacity that he has!

"You know what I'm talking about! you're always asleep! every important event in Katie's life you've just been snoozing off in. Sometimes I wonder what you do at night. You think I haven't though of the worst, That you're sleeping with some other woman!?" I barked. He just stared dumbly at me.

"Other woman?" He asked. Did you hit his head? Is he not hearing me?

"Explain it then! Explain why you're always so tired!" I shouted. My temper was getting away from me....But I was to angry to care. It was as if every frustration about him had come to the surface and I couldn't stop being angry at him. Angry at him for being tired, angry at him for lying. He was lying about something I knew it.

"Katie's gown tore last night and I stayed up late to help her fix it" He said quietly. Torn gown? Why didn't I know about this? I could think of a million other times where he had been unexplainable tired.

"What about her first job interview? You were too tired to drive her,"

"I had stayed up late to help her practice her questions." He responded. Now it was my turn to stare dumbly at him. "I suspect she asks for my help in these things because you always go to bed early. Imogene, I am sorry that I always seem to fall asleep. I never mean to, and I swear it's not another woman. I love you Imogene." He explained in my silence. I was speechless. I had been angry at him for years for no reason. No reason other than helping our daughter.

"I-I" I sputtered. He rose from his chair and wrapped me in a tight hug. I can't remember the last time we just hugged. I hugged him back and whispered in his ear, "I'm so sorry Gavin" After that we agreed to talk to each other about our frustrations.