Her Rose'

The rose withered.

Of course it did. I walked over to it to throw the dead thing in the bin. It was.. horrible in a way. It's life, but the fact that you forget about something when it loses its purpose is greedy. It's logical in a way, but maybe something I'll never accept, and follow my own belief of sentiment. I'll throw it away, but won't replace it, maybe then I could forgive myself.

I walked over to the bed to fix it. Blankets, pillows, done. Sheets.. I'll wash it anyways even if the pristine perfume still lingers. Did I remember to restock the laundry detergent? Maybe not. I'll head over to the store later. I took the sheets from their partners and placed them along with their kind. Stacked. Couldn't be more responsible.

Went and got the feather duster for more cleaning. The dust danced along with the wind as I pushed them off. Gonna need to do more sweeping. This room hadn't been touched in a while, no wonder it's this dirty.

Guests aren't normally found in this house but hey, being prepared doesn't hurt.

I sat in the bed to observe the place. Pretty stupid of me to do, considering I've been here for 5 years, and went over this room for at least a hundred times, but it's a new place now. Guest room that I've decided, but won't be used I could bet.

"Need more tending?" I asked no one.

The books are all stacked. Common items all in place. Floor all clean. Clutter... ah. I picked some stuff up and placed it all in the trash. Over the table I found some paper. Ah the documents. I'll keep that in my room. I took a peek. No no I don't need anymore things to think about. I just picked it up and placed it in my drawer.

I made my way to the kitchen for some refreshments. Some water maybe, I just need to cool off this emotion welling up in me. My heart is starting to beat faster, and my eyes are starting to accumulate some tears. What should I do? I don't know anymore. My hands are starting to quiver.

"I've already gotten over this alright? I don't need any more reminders from anyone. It's done already, and I won't do anything that'll connect to that problem."

I can't take any sip from my water anymore. My body is all tangled up inside. I looked back to the new guest room, I think I left my keys in there. There it was, and made my way to the car.

The engine revved loudly as the car started up. Exhausted from trips of course, a little too many things to attend to these past few days. I pressed the gas button and went to the mall.

---

Detergents, some other needed but unimportant materials, and some lunch. I took my food out by the fountain to eat. The sounds of the water flowing kind of connects me to the sea, bringing me peace.

This mall has always been our favorite spot. Shopping, theatres, food, or just having the presence of people around you makes this place one of a kind. We'd stop by here every weekend to have some fun, pushing work aside to make time for each other as well. It's a miracle.

"I really have to stop dwelling in the past." A tear had just fallen on my face. I would have laughed at the confused face of the one sitting beside me if it weren't for this heavy feeling.

I ate my meal as fast as possible and walked around for a while. My body had found its way to the flower shop, where we had first gotten the rose. I quickly turned and ran back to the car.

My hands gripped around the wheel as I fought back my pain. The rain isn't making things any better. Rain drops echoed around the car as I drowned in my sorrow.

"Why?.. Why did this happen?.."

I moved out of the parking lot back to my home. My vision can hardly focus on the road, but I have enough strength to set aside this memory for now.

~~~

"Why the hell do we need a flower? We already have so many of your plants. Are you going to turn our house into a jungle or something?"

"I've wanted one since our last place. I'll just have it in my room ok?"

"Fine."

Alexa just can't get enough of these plants. Telling me it brings peace or some whatever deep meaning, but I know the fact that it wastes space in the house, and we haven't moved completely yet. Sheesh.

"Let's head home for now." She offered. "We could really use some more fixing around the house."

"Sounds good to me. But could we order some take out first? I'm hungry."

She laughed, then joined me.

~~~

"You alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine." she replied.

She sat there in the kitchen, gloom contorting her face. An awful aura surrounds her, is she ok?

"Are you sure?"

"Yup." Glee is filling her, but I know it's a fake one. "I'll just rest around my room for a bit, could you make lunch? Or order one? Whichever you prefer."

"Yeah sure. Just rest for now ok? And don't overwork yourself."

"I know that." With a smile.

Before she left the kitchen, I asked her for a movie later when we're having lunch.

"Sure, what do you want to watch?"

"I thought about going to the cinema, but you're exhausted so I'll just find something on Netflix."

"We could go if you want."

"No it's fine, really. Anyways, anything you want to eat?"

"Your pick today."

"Nice. I'll call you when lunch is ready."

"Sure."

~~~

"Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?!" I shouted over the table.

"I don't want you to worry. I'll be fine ok? Just some medicine and surgery and I'll be good."

"Your damn optimism can't save you from this Alexa. This is really bad and you didn't even tell me!"

"It's your pain that I'm worried about, not mine."

"I could say the same damn thing. You at least had to look from my perspective. When's your next checkup?"

"Surgery." She corrected me.

"DAMN IT. When?!"

"3 weeks or so."

"Are they trying to kill you?!"

"Look, it'll be alright ok? Have some faith in me, just as I had when I married you. Trust me."

"I'll ask the doctor for some rescheduling. And I'll tell your boss that you'll have some leave. We're going my way now, maybe then I'll feel better."

"Sure." With her comforting smile.

My mind can only fight over anger or sadness, why did it come to this? Is karma interfering? She had been such an angel for as long as I'd known her. She doesn't deserve this. But maybe she's just having a hard time and she'll be better soon. Yeah, just that, some faith and we'll be alright.

~~~

"You're going to be alright ok?" Trying to comfort her, tears falling down my pathetic face.

"You don't have to tell me that." She chuckled a bit. The doctors and nurses pulled her over to the ambulance.

15 minutes tops and we already made it to the hospital. If those doctors had just permitted my rescheduling, now it became an emergency. Damn them.

"We'll do our best." Confirmed the doctor. Hah, if you would have had more consideration in the past, then maybe I'll accept those words whole-heartedly. I just want results today, no, I just want to have Alexa with me again. I'll just have to wait a couple of hours, and she'll be right beside me in no time.

---

The doctors are flooding out of the room. I walked to ask them when she'll be out.

"She's... dead sir..."

"Stop kidding me now. When can she go back home?"

"Sir, she really did pass away.."

I grabbed the man by the collar and pushed him towards the wall. The loud thud alarmed those around.

"We did everything we could, sir, but it's already bad enough to the point of unrepairable."

"Why can't she get one earlier than this then. This is your damn fault!" The staff around are quickly rushing over to us now.

"We just have too much in our hands to give her a reschedule. I'm sorry sir, but there are other lives we had to save as well."

"Then why is hers not included?" I replied.

My eyes will dry out by the amount of tears pouring out. I left that accursed man. I walked back to the room, and hugged her, sobbing like a 5 year old.

~~~

The room is her memory. Changing it to a guest room, I don't think I can. She wants me to have a happy life even when she's gone. She assured me of not haunting me even if I found myself another partner, but I value her more than I could myself. But I guess I'll change it, just so I could fulfill her wish.

I looked over the empty vase just beside the desk. A memory of her will always remind me of my ways.

"Maybe another rose wouldn't hurt. She'd love another one."