The Oath of Confidentiality

Debra and Gary emerged from the wine section in Lee’s Fine Foods and almost collided with a woman passing by in the main aisle. Debra recognized her and hurried to catch up with her, Gary trailing behind with the cart.

“Alice,” Debra called.

Alice turned around to see her grinning coworker Debra. Alice smiled and greeted Debra, happy to see her.

“I want you to meet my husband, Gary,” Debra said. “I talk about you two all the time and you finally get to meet. Gary, this is the Alice I talk about so much.”

Alice reached out her hand to Gary, who stared at the floor, a vice-like grip on the cart’s handle. He lifted his head and nodded at Alice but said nothing and did not extend his hand. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, then back again, and returned his stare to the cart handle now moist from his clammy hands. He rubbed them together in an attempt to dry his palms, then wiped them on his shirt.

“I don’t know why Gary’s so shy today,” said Debra. “He usually likes people. He seems to be on another planet this afternoon.”

“Do you live around here?” asked Debra. “We shop here about three or four times a week. We always forget something.”

Alice glanced into the couple’s cart. It contained four bottles of wine, two twelve-packs of beer, tortilla chips, salsa, a fruit and cheese tray, two boxes of Milano Double Dark Chocolate cookies, a lone jar of chopped garlic and two jars of quartered and marinated artichoke hearts.

“No,” said Alice. “I’m on my way home from a meeting, and this is a convenient stop.”

“I just have to tell you about our vacation to Italy coming up next May, Debra bubbled. We booked everything this morning. We love Italian wines, so we’re looking forward to finally visiting. We’ll be gone a whole month.”

“Congratulations,” Alice said with a big smile. “I hear Italy is a charming country.”

“When is your next vacation, and where are you going?”

“I’m going to Santa Fe, New Mexico, in October. I’m taking a month off from everything to unwind and write. I’ve gone there every year since 2003.”

“Wow. That sounds so relaxing. I’ve heard New Mexico is gorgeous.”

Alice smiled and nodded.

Debra turned her attention to back to Gary who had leaned forward on the cart handle. “Honey, tell Alice about the fabulous parties we went to last weekend.”

Gary looked up and muttered, “I’d rather forget them.”

“Oh, no, honey, we had a blast.” Debra prodded and goaded him as she repeated over and over how much they enjoyed themselves. She stood beside him and planted her hand lightly on his shoulder.

Gary looked at Alice, avoiding eye contact, then at his wife. He took a deep breath and began the story with slow, measured words. When he finished, he again took up residence on the cart handle.

Alice stifled a laugh. The story would have been truly funny if it were not so tragic. She said a silent prayer of gratitude for her perseverance each day. She knew she could take nothing for granted. Too much was at stake and the slightest error in judgment could kill her. She had seen Death, and he was not attractive.

Debra, laughing so hard she wiped away tears with her hands, said, “We were so drunk and high, our friends asked us if we wanted to stay overnight. But we went home since we didn’t have far to drive. We had so much fun, they invited us back the next night. Of course, we went.

“Gary, tell Alice what we did Saturday night. We had even more fun than Friday night. What a great couple. We don’t know them very well. They go to Sam’s Steak & Ale Retreat, our favorite bar. We saw them one night and struck up a conversation. Turns out, we like the same things. Go ahead, Gary, tell her.”

Gary nodded toward Alice and said, “Debra, you tell her.”

“Saturday night we all went to the bar for a couple of hours, and there wasn’t much happening. We thought about going to a gay bar and laughing at the drag queens, but the last time we did that, some guy pulled a gun on us and told us to leave.”

“So,” Debra went on,” we went back to James and Maria’s. They busted out the stuff and we all got high and drunk. Then Gary tried to climb up the wall and couldn’t figure out why he kept sliding down the wall. We laughed for what must have been an hour.”

“But, that’s not the half of it,” she added. “I went looking for Maria’s kitchen shears so I could trim all her houseplants. They’re huge. I almost got away with it, but she saw me out of the corner of her eye and stopped me. I don’t think she was as high as Gary and me.”

Repulsed, Alice forced herself to remain stoic. She checked her FitBit. “I gotta run, you two. Nice to meet you, Gary. Great seeing you, Debra. See you at work on Monday.”

“I know this isn’t your stomping ground,” said Debra, “but you have to come over for dinner sometime soon. Oh, I know. How about Saturday for a late lunch? Say, two o’clock? We’ll be sober by then. You can help us get started for the evening.”

Alice shook her head and tried to interject, “I really can’t—"

Debra continued, “You don’t need to bring a thing. We’ll have wine, beer, weed, and plenty of food. Gary’s a master with the grill. You have to say, ‘Yes.’ Pleeez?”

Alice looked from Debra to Gary and back to Debra. “I’m sorry, Debra. My schedule’s really full, and I can’t squeeze anything else into it. But, thanks for the invite.”

Debra’s lower lip popped out in a pout and her eyes showed a sadness Alice had not seen in her chipper coworker.

“I really wish you’d come over. I’d like to get to know you outside of work. We never get to relax and talk and listen to music.”

“I really have to go. See you later. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.”

As Alice continued down the main aisle, she recalled her days in outpatient alcohol and drug rehab over fifteen years ago. Gary, pale and gaunt, had transformed into a vibrant, hopeful man. She remembered his expressive brown eyes. They dated about three months after that, then drifted apart. Today, his eyes and winning smile disappeared into a face vacant and hopeless.

Alice could not help but wonder if Debra knew or if Debra had been his downfall.