Love and Dear

Love: "I'm still mad at you. Flowers won't help."

Dear: "Whatever happened to forgive and forget?"

Love: "Fine, I will forgive you and then forget you."

Dear: "Now, love, you know that's not what I meant."

Love: "Don't touch my face when I am mad at you!"

Dear: "How about you tell me what this is about? Woah, now, how many times have I told you that glare could kill a man?"

Love: "Good thing you aren't a man, yet."

Dear: "Ouch."

Love: "Good! We're still not even."

Dear: "I've only been gone a couple days, love."

Love: "A week! You've been gone a week and you left in the middle of the night with a whispered 'be back soon, love'. If a week is 'soon' to you, I'd hate to see what a long time looks like! Like I said, flowers are nowhere near enough. Where have you been?"

Dear: “Well, I killed a dragon and-"

Love: "Let me guess, you rescued a princess. So glad that another woman is more important than my feelings. Again."

Dear: "Actually, it had been hoarding children-"

Love: "If you brought home one more child that isn't mine that I have to take care of, I swear!"

Dear: "Well…"

Love: "Oh no! Take them back this instant. I'm sure they have family somewhere who are anxiously looking for them. Like a nice old grandma, maybe."

Dear: "But, love, -"

Love: "No buts! Or do you not recall that we have four children of our own and at least five rescued add-ons. We make hardly any money and feeding nine kids is hard enough!"

Dear: *sigh*

Love: "Don't you sigh at me!"

Dear: "But-"

Love: "I said no buts!"

Dear: "There are some old enough to help out and-"

Love: "Just how many did you bring?!"

Dear: "Um, well, you see-"

Love: "Answer the question."

Dear: "Don't don't blow your top, love, wouldn't want to lose all that lovely red hair."

Love: "How many?"

Dear: "...five…"

Love: "...how many?"

Dear: "Five? ... Love? Love! It's ok! Here, take a seat. How about a nice drink of cool water. Listen, it will all be ok. I got gold from the dragon's lair, enough to last us a while!"

Kids: "Daddy!"

Dear: "Oh look, the kids are awake! Good to see you, dears. Run along and play outside. We're just having a nice chat. There are some new… friends you can play with just out front. Why don't you go show them around. No, Jane, your mother's fine, run along outside and play. That's a good girl. You are fine, aren't you, love? Love? Can you hear me? I thought fanning was supposed to help! Are you breathing? Answer me, Gertrilda, please!"

Love: "I thought we agreed you wouldn't call by my name unless it was an emergency."

Dear: "It was an emergency, love!"

Love: "Too hard, dear, you are hugging me too hard."

Dear: "Sorry, how's that"

Love: "Better."

Dear: "So you're ok now?"

Love: *sigh*

Dear: "I know you are still angry, I guess I must have worried you. I'm sorry. Can we talk about this without yelling? It's really hard for me to understand what you want me to know when we are yelling."

Love: "You've been taking lessons from that hedge witch again."

Dear: 

Love: "Alright, dear, here it is: I hate going to bed worried for a whole week because you told me 'soon' and I expected you home that night. I extremely dislike not being involved in what you are planning, even if you only just got the news, I want to know what is going on. I would like for us to discuss what we will do if you find children with no families before you find them. I would like to talk about how we are going to afford or get food, you know that you rarely get paid for being a hero and I have nine children under the age of 7 to take care of when you go."

Dear: "I thought you didn't mind taking in lost children."

Love: "That is not the issue! If you are going to listen and sort out the problem, then listen to what I am saying and stop making assumptions."

Dear: "Ok, I'm listening."

Love: "I do not mind taking in lost children. But we do not have a way to take care of them and there are almost too many for me and none of them are old enough to help."

Dear:

Love:

Dear: "Is there anything else you would like us to figure out right now?"

Love: "I think that's enough for now. Thank you for listening, I would like your input now."

Dear: "Would you be ok with taking in children over the age of 12?"

Love: "That would actually be very helpful."

Dear: "Four of these kids are, and the other one is somebody's little brother."

Love: "That is… actually very helpful. Thank you."

Dear: "They even all promised to help."

Love: "Ok, beautiful, one problem solved."

Dear: "You looked relieved."

Love: "I am, thank you."

Dear: "And, love-- can I touch your face yet?"

Love: "Yes, dear."

Dear: "I do love when you smile."

Love: 

Dear: "Blushes are even prettier... I don't know if you could hear me earlier, but I got some gold from that dragon's cave. Quite a lot, actually. We should be good for a few years at least."

Love: "Really?"

Dear: "Yes, really! And I was thinking that maybe we could plant a big garden this year. I promise I will help."

Love: "You have helped with past gardens."

Dear: "And then we'll have more food."

Love: "Ok. How about telling me what's going on more?"

Dear: "I will do my best, but sometimes I'm going to forget and you will have to remind me."

Love: "What if I just want you to remember?"

Dear: "I'm afraid I'm not perfect."

Love: "At least promise to wake me up if you have to leave in the middle of the night?"

Dear: "Yes, love, I will. For a big kiss as well. And to ask you how many children I can bring home that trip."

Love: "You make them sound like puppies."

Dear: "Sometimes they are, they just follow me home."

Love: "All right, Harold, I'll forgive you."

Dear: "And not forget me?"

Love: "And not forget you."

Dear: "I'm so glad. And, love?"

Love: "Hmm?"

Dear: "I thought we agreed that you wouldn't call me Harold."

Love: "Yes, dear."