Rufus, There's a Ruckus

It was shaping up to be a busy afternoon at the Mayfair. The patrons were lining up at the front desk, each with an urgent request. A reservation here, or there, a delivery, a pickup, all so very important, and all with a holiday weekend bearing down upon them. But the concierge, unruffled, handled each request with polished aplomb. And thats when his phone rang :

Rufus!

Yes, Madam?

Rufus, there’s a ruckus…

Another ruckus, Madam?

I fear someone is being bludgeoned…or worse!

Madam, if I may, we’ve been down this road before…

Not like this, Rufus, I can assure you. In fact, I’m shocked you can’t hear the screams in the Lobby!

The Waverleys again…?

Whom else?

And you are sure they are not..."celebrating"?

I doubt that! We'll need to notify the authorities immediately! Someone's life could be at stake!

I am afraid the Police won’t be too quick to respond this time around…given ‘our recent history’…

You suggest that I sit quietly by, sip some tea, and listen to the victim in the throws of her demise? How cavalier! I must say I'm most disappointed in you, Rufus!

Mr. Waverley addressed those concerns on each of the prior occasions, as was verified by Mrs. Waverley, who hardly looked the worse for wear, I might add.

I believe they had been drinking! How else would you explain these bouts of boisterous laughter and frivolity…oh! it's turned ugly again!”

What is it?!

She’s pleading for her life, Man! You can’t hear that?! ‘Oh, please! Please, please, please!!!!’ Where’s the compassion? What’s the world coming to? You can’t hear that? Surely you're not deaf! ...perhaps pretending to be?

No Madam, as we've established, the walls are exceptionally well soundproofed.

If that’s the case, Rufus, then how the hell can I, a wearer of, not one, but TWO hearing aids, mind you…not to mention my tinnitus!…How can I possibly hear so very clearly all that is transpiring. I can feel the thuds…the very blows!…vibrating through the floor and the walls. He’s pummeling her with a heavy object, and she’s screaming bloody murder, while no one…absolutely NO ONE, is listening to me! Her blood will be on your collective hands when this is done.

But Madam, Mr. Waverley has put us both on notice…should it happen again, there will be repercussions, which I take as, I could lose my job.

Over my dead body!

I’m afraid that won’t help, Madam.

What if it’s not Mr. Waverley? Did you consider that?! It IS broad daylight…! Why would he be home? It could be a stranger…an interloper...an intruder!

I doubt that. I do keep my eyes peeled for strangers passing through the lobby. Actually, Mr. Waverley passed through this lobby not an hour ago. He was in quite a cheerful mood, with a bounce in his step, and in a bit of a hurry.

I'd be willing to bet he had a plan in mind, and was on his way to carry out this foul act!

Well, come to think of it, he was whistling as he passed through. Perhaps if you turned on your TV...?

Rufus, I know you to be a good man, but I cannot drown out the screams of dying woman. Besides, I tend to depend on the Closed-Captions, so the sound is irrelevant…except for the sound next door, of which I am miraculously capable of hearing!

If I may be so brazen as to suggest that you may be experiencing some issues with your hearing aids, or perhaps a ringing in the ears of some sort.

RUFUS! I am no old fool, and will not be treated as such!

No offense intended, Madam. I was simply trying to be conciliatory. Would you prefer to have your walls inspected? They really are quite soundproof, I can assure you.

thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud……

You can't hear that?!

Perhaps they are hanging paintings…

Oh, that’s ripe, Rufus! Why do you defend the….WAIT ! Oh dear! Good for you darling! Strike back!

Excuse me, Madam?

It seems she has turned the tables! Where she found the strength I’ll never know!

How so, Madam?

She suddenly seems to have the upper-hand! He’s begun to beg for mercy!

Madam, perhaps…

That-a-girl! Throttle him! Give him the old ‘what-for’! OH! YES! Take that! How does that feel? Suffer you bloody bastard!

Madam, really…I think perhaps your imagination…

Rufus, there is nothing imaginary going on. It’s all too real, I assure you. Wait…

Madam, I must tend to other business.

More important than MY business, Rufus? Really? Well rest assured, I shall remember that come this Christmas…?

It’s not that, Madam, and I do appreciate the $20 each and every year…most generous.

Shhhhh!!!!

Something happening?

Seems they’ve come to some agreement.

How so?

They are settling their differences.

Can you be more explicit, Madam?

He…she…they are both shouting in agreement!

Agreement?

Yes. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!       …and so on.

Excellent. So the problem seems to have resolved itself?

I suppose. I DO prefer that couples get along. I mean them no ill will whatsoever. But Edgar and I never raised our voices...

Sorry to hear that, Madame. Perhaps if you had...

"Had What?" Rufus?

Had 'Celebrated' more….if you’ll pardon me…vocally so...

I see. Well, we chose to celebrated silently, Rufus. We were private people…Civil.

Pity the world has forgotten how that’s done.

They are actually laughing, Rufus. I do hope this was not some sick joke at my expense.

I doubt that, Madam.

Still…I think I’ll ‘keep an ear out’ should it turn nasty again.

Odds are it will, Madam.

You see, Rufus? Vigilance. I am gratified that you’ve finally coming around to my way of thinking.

Yes, I have indeed, Madam. I have indeed.

Feeling rather light-headed…now that it’s all quiet, I think I’ll lie down for a bit...perhaps a nap.

Sweet dreams, Madam.

Thank you, Rufus.

(click)