The Pursuit Of Happiness

Leo took one glance at the envelope and tossed it to the pile by the side of his desk. Each pocket contained a check, money from the work he had done. There were months’ worth of paychecks lying there, untouched. His job payed well. He was lucky. He didn’t have to worry about anything, his life was set.

But money isn’t everything.  

Each day, he wakes up. He gets dressed, drinks his morning coffee, reads some news articles. He brushes his teeth, puts on a tie, smooths his hair. He starts up his car and drives twenty minutes to the office, the drive that he’d taken every day for the past seven years. His secretary always greets him with a smile, which he returns, but it hasn’t been real. He doesn’t know if it’s ever been real. Had he ever been happy?  

In elementary school, he joined the basketball team. It was one of the only extra-curricular activity they offered, aside from the choir. He never really enjoyed it, but he was good at it. His parents were so proud of him, boasting to their other moms and dads at the awards ceremonies and parading him as if he was a prize horse. He didn’t have the heart to tell them that he really wanted to try out for the choir.

In middle school, he was introduced to a bunch of new activities. There was tennis, baseball, robotics, and swimming, just to name a few. His parents signed him up for basketball once more. He tried to voice that he wanted to try something new, but they dismissed it. “Nonsense!” They would say. “Why try something new when you’ve got talent here?” So, he continued to excel at basketball, each day telling himself that if he just closed his eyes and concentrated, he couldn’t hear the sounds coming from the music room.  

In high school, he didn’t even have a chance. His middle school coach recommended him to the high school coach of the basketball team, and his future was set. He played hard, worked hard. His parents were prouder than ever. He became captain of the team, and despite the hollow feeling in his heart, he took it and smiled. The choir was set on the opposite side of the school, so he no longer was tortured by the sounds of what could’ve been. Soon, he found a girl. She was everything he could’ve dreamed of. Beautiful, intelligent, funny, sarcastic, caring. She could crack a joke that would make him laugh for days later. They dated for a year. He met her parents, she met his. They had a good future ahead of them. She was the captain of the cheerleading squad; he was the star of the basketball team. When it came to apply to colleges, his parents encouraged him to think big. So, he did. He got accepted at a top college, a full-ride scholarship mostly for basketball, but also due to his academic success. His girl got accepted to a different college. Two days before he left, he broke it off. After all, he couldn’t juggle a long-distance relationship and college. She would be pushed to the back of his mind, just like music.  

College was hard but rewarding. He saw a flyer on day three for the choir but chose to ignore it. He had classes to get to, papers to write, basketball to practice. It was a child’s dream, and he had real problems to focus on. He studied and worked tirelessly, the years passing by in a blur until the day came that he received his diploma. Just weeks after graduation, he was offered his first big job. He accepted it. His parents were so happy for him and threw a big party in his honor. He saw his old girl, fresh out of med school. He smiled but couldn’t let her back in. After all, he had a job now. He couldn’t let anything, or anyone distract him from what mattered.  

His job started, and his hard work payed off. He helped his parents finally finish paying off the house, and he bought them the boat his mom had always dreamed of. He bought himself a humble house, two bedrooms and one and a half baths. He didn’t see the need for anything extravagant. Afterall, it was only him living there. He considered getting a pet but figured that he wouldn’t have enough time to pay attention to it with work. He thought about calling up his old girl, but knew it was in his best interests to not engage, just as with the pet. He was content on his own, with his good paying job and nice coworkers.  

But as years continue to go by, that hollow feeling returns, emptier than ever. 

Each dollar that he receives is worthless. Each hour he spends behind the desk is another hour wasted. 

Leo turned on his computer, opening a new tab in his browser. He types something in and clicks search. He sees what he’s looking for and clicks on the link. He sees her picture, a genuine smile on her face. He wants to feel that happiness, he wants to have that joy in his life. 

It doesn't matter if it fails, if he ends up jobless and on the streets. He's tasted the life of the rich, of having more money then any one person needs, and all it's gotten him is a miserable life. He wants change. He needs change.

Before he can back out, he does three things. First, he sends the email that has been drafting for three years now to his boss. His resignation email. Second, he sends her a message. It doesn't matter if she doesn't respond, if she never reads it. He has sent it now and that's all that matters.

Lastly, he opens up the app he downloaded years back. The singing app. He takes a deep breath, clears his throat, and clicks on record.