I Got This

It was just a normal day. I stopped at my favorite coffee shop before work. I ran into Dylan. A beautiful woman who I have been in love with, secretly of course, for about twelve years now. We met Freshman year of high school, and my breath still catches in my throat every time I see her. 

“Hey Dylan!” I said with a little wave to catch her attention. She looked back to see who called her name.

“Carter, hey!” She bumped into someone when she turned around and spilled a little coffee down the front of her shirt. She muttered a few words I couldn’t quite catch and apologized to the gigantic man who just scowled at her as he left the shop. 

“Shoot, sorry Dylan. I didn’t mean to make you spill. I can go grab you some napkins. Stay here.” I started to turn to go ask the barista when she grabbed my wrist.

“Carter, you’re good. I wasn’t watching where I was going. You can’t tell anyway with my black shirt, see?” She pulled her shirt away from her body so she could examine her it. She was right, it looked a little damp, but you wouldn’t notice it if you weren’t looking for it. Our eyes met as I looked back up at her face. I looked away quickly and blushed. I don’t know why she still makes me so nervous. 

“Hey Carter, I was actually going to call you later today. My parents are having a barbecue Saturday, and it’s been ages since we really did anything together. I’m sure my parents are just dying to see you again. You know how much they adored you in high school.” She put her hand over her mouth and giggled. She’s always done that. She’s always been so self-conscious about her smile that she feels the need to cover it up when she laughs. Of course, by now, it’s just automatic and she doesn’t even think about it. I wish she knew how beautiful it was; how beautiful she was.

“Carter? Do you want to?” She said, a little nervously. I realized I hadn’t been paying attention to what she was saying. “Do you want to be my date?” She asked again.

My heart just about jumped out of my chest. I never thought I would hear those words come out of her mouth. “Oh, absolutely! Should I meet you there or do you want me to pick you up?” I asked excitedly, maybe too excitedly. 

“Oh no, I will pick you up. You’re on my way anyway. I’ll text you the deets, okay!” She looked down at her phone to check the time, then swore. “I have to go, okay. I’m running late for a meeting. See you Saturday, Carter!” She gave me a quick hug, then ran out the door. Wow. Dylan Hart asked ME out. It felt like I was dreaming. 

“…for there’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don’t you cry no more…”  Groggily, I opened my eyes and shut my alarm off. Of course. I WAS just dreaming. A girl like Dylan Hart would never ask me to be her date. She doesn’t need me anyway, she’s got her supermodel boyfriend, Jack. I was a little bummed out, but I wasn’t going to let a dream get me down. I had a great day ahead of me. I had my review at work today. I’ve been looking forward to it for weeks now. I know I’m going to own it! 

I grabbed my glasses off the night stand and sat up. I stretched out and crawled out of bed, just as my phone started ringing.

“Hello?” I said into the phone as I walked to the bathroom. 

“Carter? Where the hell are you?” Someone screamed into the phone. I looked at my phone to see who had called. It was Josh, my boss but also my best friend.

“I’m getting ready for work, I just woke up. Did something happen? Are you okay?” I asked, getting worried.

“You’ve been looking forward to the review for weeks and this is the day that you decide to be late? What the hell, Carter? Are you trying to get fired?!” He said, still screaming. Late? I glanced down at the clock in the bathroom. It read 9:06 am. No. That can’t be right. I checked my phone too, same time. No no no, this can’t be happening! I’ve never been late a day in my life.

“Josh, you have got to stall the board for me! I guess I slept through my alarm. Oh god, my review is at 9:30. Please please please stall. Thank you, gotta go!”

“I have been calling you for almost an hour—“ He was still screaming, but I hung up and got dressed faster than I ever have in my life and ran out the door. 

I ran down the stairs, not even bothering to wait for an elevator. I flew out the front door of my building and immediately started trying to hail down a cab. After almost five minutes, a cab finally pulled over for me to jump in. Some jerk pushed me out of the way and stole the cab. Before I could even make it to the cab to chew him out, it was speeding off. I didn’t have time for this. I took off running down the street, trying to hail a cab at the same time. I was weaving in and out of all the people walking down the street and running into half of them in the meantime. I was yelling apologies left and right. I stopped at a light waiting for the sign to say walk when someone yelled out a cab window, “Nice pants, loser!” I knew he couldn’t be talking about me, but I checked my pants anyway and what I found was a hole. Right in the butt. 

So now, not only did the girl of my dreams not actually ask me out, but I was also late for a review I thought I had no problem nailing, I could not get a cab, and there was a hole in my pants. It would all be okay though. Josh has always had my back. I could stop at the clothing store right down the street from my office. And I would still nail that review. I looked down at my watch. 9:22 am. I could just run the whole way, right? My office is about an eight minute taxi ride. It should only take me about fifteen minutes to get there on foot. I sent Josh a text reading, “15 mins. Promise.” And I took off running. 

I finally arrived at the office. It actually took 22 minutes; there was a line at the clothing store. Josh did not look happy when I finally came running through the door. 

“I did what I could. They’ve been waiting, and they’re not happy. I told them your dog died this morning, but apparently that’s no reason to be late.” Josh was filling me in quickly as we walked together to the conference room. 

“My dog? I don’t have a dog. Why would you lie about something like that?” I asked breathlessly. 

“I don’t know, man. I panicked.” We stopped outside the doors and he looked me up and down. “You look like shit, dude. Tuck in your shirt at least, Jesus.” He was shaking his head, obviously worried. 

“Thank you, and don’t worry. I got this.” I said and quickly held out my fist for a fist bump before heading in. I got this, I whispered to myself before opening the door, and once more when I saw all the angry looks on the board members faces.

I took a seat across the table from the President of the company, Charles. He gave me a long, hard look before speaking. 

“Carter Cromwell. Before we begin, I like to ask everyone how well they think their review is going to go. This answer usually plays a role in the end result of said review, but you were almost twenty minutes late so I think that speaks for itself. Your supervisor informed us that your dog passed this morning, is that true?” He looked at me like he already knew the answer to that question. I didn’t say a word, but I never broke eye contact. I wasn’t going to let this man intimidate me or tear me down. 

“Very well.” Charles began flipping through his papers. The board members read some reviews from supervisors in my department and fellow co-workers. They reviewed my job performance and attendance. I stayed silent unless I was asked a question. Once it was finished, I was about to leave when Charles spoke again.

“As you know, these reviews are usually bi-annual. We just performed reviews last year. These reviews are because we are doing some cut backs and there will be lay offs. Now, before you were late today, and before you somehow talked your supervisor into lying to the whole board, I would have said your job was safe. You have been an exemplary employee up until this point. After the reviews are all finished, the board and I will be picking four employees from each department that will be let go. Based on past performance, I would say I hope you are not once of them.” He looked up at me with a stern look in his eyes. “But after today, I hope you are. Thank you for making time for us, Carter. You’re free to go.” Charles started tidying up his papers and getting ready for the next review. I turned to leave, with my head hanging, but I stopped when I reached the door. I got this, I whispered once again as I turned back around the face the board. 

“With all due respect, President Charles, I know that is not true. If you would have asked me yesterday how I thought this review would go, I would have said flawlessly. Why? Because I know I do exceptional work around here, and so do you.” The shock on Charles’s face told me I should stop speaking before I say something I regret, but I told myself I would nail this review, and I still intend to do that.

“I do not employ liars at my company, Mr. Cromwell. The fact that you are leaving right now with your job is enough. As for your supervisor, he will be put back under review. His review went great last week, but like I said, I will not tolerate lying in my company.” Charles stood to leave, but I walked back over to the table and I looked right into his eyes. He can threaten my job, but I would not let Josh lose his job over me.

“Josh has worked here for 8 years. You hired him when he was 16 as a part-time janitor because his family was struggling to make ends meet. Do you remember that, sir?” He nodded. “He has been loyal to you from the start. You saw something in him, that’s why you took a chance on him. He’s done nothing but excel from the beginning. Now, if you want to let me go, do it now. But just know, you will regret it. I have been great for you and this company. I intend to be great for years to come. This company is home to me. I have sacrificed so much. Today, I was not exemplary. I woke up late. Who knows how long my alarm had been going off before I heard it. I was too caught up in the dream I was having to even care about the real world. Frankly, that’s all that mattered in that moment. Hasn’t that happened to you sir?” I didn’t give him time to answer. 

“No, my dog did not pass this morning. Hell, I don’t even have a dog, but you knew that. You do your research. Everything that possibly could have gone wrong today, did. I was late. My taxi was stolen. Halfway here, I realized my pants were ripped so I had to stop to buy new ones. I got my supervisor and friend in trouble, all because I didn’t hear my alarm. All because of a dream. Now, I do apologize that it happened today of all days. But I don’t apologize that it happened because I am human. I do make mistakes. I am not and will never be perfect. But I will take this experience and I will learn from it. That’s what we do as humans. Mistakes are made for the sole purpose of learning from them, don’t you think? If you would have let me answer at the beginning of the review how I thought this would go, I would have still said flawlessly. A couple little mistakes will not hurt me. I am resilient and strong.” I again, didn’t let him answer. I was on a roll, why stop now.

“You can go ahead and act like you have never made a mistake, Charles. But I will not be ashamed. I will not be afraid. I am not my mistakes. If you see fit to let me go, I will not fight it. I understand. I will accept the consequences of my actions. But do us both the favor of doing it now. If you’re going to fire me, sir, do it now.” My gaze never wavering through my whole spiel, finally dropped. I thought I was on a roll, but maybe I was just making a fool of myself. Charles was silent so long, I was about to leave when he spoke.

“Mr. Cromwell.” His gaze was attentive. He was silent again for some time. He turned toward the vice president and said, “Mr. Cromwell’s job will be safe from the cut backs.” Looking back at me, he didn’t look angry or stern. His eyes were soft, understanding maybe even admiring. “Return to work, Mr. Cromwell. Do not make me regret my decision. 

I thanked Charles and the board and basically skipped out of the room. Josh was still waiting on the other side of the door, he could clearly hear everything that happened on the other side. His jaw dropped when I came out of the room. All he could muster up was, “Dude.”

When nothing seems to be going right, the only thing that can change the outcome is your attitude. If you let every little thing get to you, you’re always going to feel like you’re losing. If you keep your head up, stay positive, and see that better things are ahead, nothing will get in your way. Always be positive; always be resilient.