Mealtime Mayhem

Burk fumbled around the kitchen, throwing everything he needed into the steaming pot on the stovetop.  He had looked up a recipe for spaghetti, thinking, This shouldn’t be that hard.  For a first timer, it was.  

    He’d never cooked spaghetti, he’d watched.  His mother had always insisted on cooking, she’d loved it.  His father cooked sometimes, and made him watch when he wasn’t out tending the farm.  Growing up, he learned how to cook what he needed.  That was before he met Anna.  

    Anna was the light of his world.  He met her while he was getting an exclusive from her uncle, who happened to be a hero of a fire that occurred in a mattress building.  Her uncle heroically saved a total of six adults, and three children.  Burk was the first reporter on the scene, and he was the early bird who got the worm.  Anna was in the interview because she had been visiting her uncle that day.  When they locked eyes, they seemed to know what would happen next.  

They dated around for a few years, then decided to tie the knot.  That’s who he was preparing this “lovely” meal for tonight.  

Am I burning the meat?  He asked himself, mashing up the beef with his spatula.  Am I burning the noodles?  He shouted at himself, practically tripping over his own shoes.  He took the meat out and drained the water from it in a strainer, then he dumped two big jars of tomato sauce into the meat.  

“Burk,” she called, shutting the door soundly behind her.  “I’m home.”  

“Hey, baby,” he called to Anna.  “Don’t come in yet, I have a surprise for you.” 

She inhaled deeply.  “Hm, I love surprises that smell like meat.”  

He chuckled, stirring the noodles one last time before dumping them out into a different strainer.  He thought that was how you were supposed to do it, since he didn’t want any cross contamination.  

“You cook?”  She called from the living room.  He imagined her with her feet propped up on the coffee table as she threw her heels aside, she was probably removing her panty hose, throwing those with her heels.  By now her shirtail was probably untucked, and her belt was now coming off.  Her hair was probably wildly tumbling around her shoulders.  Lord, how he loved her.  

“As of now, I cook.”  He mixed it all together, hoping he cooked it all correctly, and that it turned out good for his wife.  He threw his washcloth he used to wipe sweat away over his shoulder, and proudly strutted towards his love.  

He bowed.  “My lovely wife of five years,” he said, taking her hand.  He was right about her attire.  “Your dinner is served.”  

She smiled as he moved up behind her, placing his palms over her eyes.  He guided her down into a chair, and brought her a plate and utensils.  

“Thank you, sir,” she said, taking up her fork.  “This looks yummy.”  

He smiled, stooping down low to kiss her.  “I sure hope it tastes how it looks.”  He fixed his own plate, looking for any signs of something bad.  And that’s when he heard it.  She gagged, and her fork clattered onto her plate.  Then she laughed.  

“Burk!”  She yelled, giggled as she wiped her mouth. 

He ran to her, nearly dropping his own plate.  He saw the remnants of the beef he had worked so hard on, and it was all a bright pink.  

“How long did you cook the meat for?”  She asked.  

He sighed, shrugging.  “I don’t know.  Just until it was partially brown,” he saw her shocked expression.  “I didn’t want to burn it!”  He added in a hasty defense.  

She laughed, standing up to take his plate, and return their portions to the pot.  “Don’t eat that.”  She whispered, standing next to him.  

He sighed, resting his head on her shoulder.  That was quite a stretch seeing as she was much shorter than him.  “I was just trying to do something special for you.”  

“I know, babe, but sometimes things turn out bad when we want them to turn out good the most,” she turned his head so that they were looking each other in the eyes.  “Besides, the racoons will appreciate your cooking.”  

He laughed and pulled her against him, feeling renewed and bright again.  “Yeah, they’ll love it.”  He kissed her gently, feeling her with his hands.  He loved to map out each and every detail of her little body.  Compared to him, she was so small, and fragile.  Though, once you go to know her, you would know she was anything but fragile.  She could take care of herself better than anyone else could take care of her, and she was as stubborn as a mule.  Well, maybe a little more stubborn than that.  

As he pulled away, she smiled.  “I’ll go feed Kong.”  

“Kong?”  He asked, his brows furrowed.  

She nodded.  “That’s the big raccoon's name.”

He chuckled softly, opening the door to the back porch.  She spilled it out in a little circular silver bowl she had bought specifically for their neighbors, the racoons.  They came around every once in a while, and Anna would always leave them leftovers, or even cook for them.  Spoiled trash pandas.  

When she straightened up, he took the empty dish off her hands, and followed her back inside.  

“So what should we do for dinner now that ours was ruined by yours truly?”  He asked, sitting down heavily in a kitchen chair.  He now took the time to notice the rose bouquet he picked up from the supermarket while he was grabbing ingredients.  The pink petals reflected the soft glow of the candle that he placed in the center of the table.  Draping lazily over the edges was a white cloth, he absently traced patterns on the soft material.  

She sighed, coming over to knead his shoulders.  “How about we just do pizza?”  

He scoffed.  “Pizza isn't a fancy dinner for date night.”  

“Who said we had to have something fancy?”  She whispered in his ear.  

He chuckled softly, turning his head to look at her.  “Order it up.”  Even though he made a mess of all his plans for his wife, she still loved and appreciated the thought.  And she said so as they shared their not-so-fancy dinner.   

“I don’t care that you undercooked it,” she said, covering his hand with hers.  “I just love that you had the notion to do it.”  

“I know you had a bad day at work, so I wanted to do something special.”  

She smiled.  “And I love you for that.”  

He leaned over and kissed her meaningfully.  “I love you too.”  

They worked hard to scrub all their dishes clean, and then decided to retire for the night.  As he lay there awake, he thought back to the raw beef.  He was so grateful she hadn’t gone through most of her plate before realizing it wasn’t cooked.  He would’ve felt terrible for that.  Surely, after this night, he would never be allowed to cook again.  

He chuckled softly as he pulled her closer to his chest, and listened to her even breathing as he drifted off into unconsciousness