Trigger warning: self-harm

December 27th, 2017

Dreams often disappoint, they often tell us a new story about a known person, and you can’t see the one whom you have never seen in real life. A creative dream originates from a logical mind, but this is the irony dreaming is not in our control, but the reality is, so being logical will eventually give a creative dream.

A dream defines how a person thinks and sees things. It is a place which is our exact desires, which we want, we need and cannot accomplish. Many people usually visit their mind palace where they store things and is the memory bank of all the doings of their lives. Whenever we are in a dream it’s said that it is the deepest desire of ours. The same thing started with a person who was in his final month of dropping off the school with the 12th standard. His classes were over and he was studying for the finals.

He used to sit at home, not to do anything, and study for a while. Unlike other students, he wasn’t engrossed in studying, but because of family pressure and the subjects, he was after the books. Looking to his face anyone can assume that he was depressed, even he tried to cut his wrist in front of his mother, but this isn’t the solution for him.

After his 2-month-long-sleepless-nights, one day he wasn’t aware of the fact about how deep dreams can go and threw his books away, switching on the radio, he tries to sleep at midnight. Knowing the fact that he would meet a nightmare, he tries to take some sleep. For him, that night was restless and frightening his mind was full of disturbing thoughts, thoughts of her family, whom he loves so much, and other common old nightmares. With Medium-Sufi-music, he caught by his tired eyes. His only desire to get a good dream, he slept peacefully. The dreams which sometimes make and sometimes slaughter him were on the pace, in his mind.

#

The fresh dusk was falling on his face with some garnishing of breeze and dew. He nearly had Goosebumps on his arms, while the dew was touching his face; a golden-orange coloured light reflected from his eyes, making a sort of camera flare.

The narrow path he was facing was lush green with grass touching his knees--one can touch them while walking. The other two sides were a lush green forest with the same-sized tress. They were full of fruits, berries and nuts of different kinds. He starts walking straight on the path when he sees a wooden crate lying under a mango tree; crate was full of mangoes.

He lifts a mango with a leaf attached to it and tries to eat but cannot as in a dream nothing u can have or eat or touch. (If one can touch anything in a dream it’s a lucid dream). The dream was fully fragmented so he was not in a hurry to watch the full dream--consciously. He starts walking facing the sun, he sees much more while asleep than awake. A time when you feel so well is a positive time for the one. With many crates of fruits lying there he stumbles upon a place which is deep and dark in the forest.

He looks back to the yellowish-orange sun where he thinks he should go and then he turns to the deep mysterious forest and make up his mind to go that direction. After fighting with his impulses he walks on the dark trail as it wasn’t purely dark, a narrow ray of sunlight was falling on the ground as if God has his spotlight on him. Now the thing in this dream was that the time was about dusk and he saw the sunlight of noon. This is a particular time in your life when you have to stop for that freaking overthinking process.

He walks to the light and try to see but wasn’t able to have a clear sight. He comes to a place from he can see far till the mountains touch the clouds. At a moment he takes another step when he suddenly stops and sees he’s on the verge to fall to hell, he balances himself and trips upon the edge. He manages to settle himself somehow.

“what the hell was that?” he said abruptly,

Scared as much as falling off the cliff, and his voice echoes. He sites there for a second to take some breadth and notices that beneath and in front of him is a big coal mine, where people are working, under the black cloudy sky which is forming into a kind of hurricane over him. He could absorb a whole lot of dark vibes emitted by the place.

The wind is blowing at a great speed, it’s almost raining now, there’s thunder and dark all over,…….. It is like the whole area is the mining ground, somewhere black and some greyish textures are overlaid. He manages to have a look all around that area.

Breathing heavily he saw a person standing just beneath him staring him continuously since he fell at the cliff.

He woke up in half an hour and turns off the radio, as no station was running.

#

January 27th, 2018

Again one night, the same situation, the same anxiety, the same person tried to sleep a night, again tired of everything he walks his way out of studies and books. He switches off the lights… again, turns on the radio…… He tries to sleep for a while but can’t, as he was suffering from insomnia it was difficult to let go. Somehow he manages to get some sleep but he didn’t even know what was coming in the dream.

#

As soon as he got asleep he found himself in a dark place with grey and black shades all over the walls, when he takes a step forward he sees a window, from which a dull greyish-white light is falling on the floor. He makes some attempts to look around the room. He was in a bathroom, where on the left there was another small window, on the right, there was a bathtub which was in a bad condition.

He walks further slowly to examine the room, as the walls of the room were too in a bad condition, dripping ceiling, smell all over, spider webs in the corners, and holes made by weathering. The bathtub was covered with a white sheet with blood spots on it, from the top; he elevates the sheet and sees a family pouncing out of the tub.

The family with a small girl and her elder sister was standing in front of him, her dad as in trying to protect his family from the stranger.

“Who are you, what do you want?…” Father said in a hastily.

Their situation wasn’t good enough as they were in the tub for two days, without any food and water.

“I won’t hurt you just-just trust me, I can help you to get out of here just try to trust me…” he (the dreamer) said.

While dreaming we often think and it is like we are/were dreaming for a long time but the thing is that we just dream for 15 min. we never understand this thing while dreaming. Meanwhile, he figured out that he was in a building that was drifting back and forth like the leaning tower of Pisa, the building was about to collapse in no time.

“I want to help you, let me help you,.” He said in an instructing tone.

He somehow convinced the family to get back in the tub to avoid any injuries. He then covers the tub with that sheet, as the building is about to collapse. While falling he pulls the tub in between the room to get out of the window. As he shifts the tub in the middle he holds on it and the building starts falling by the window side. He holds onto the tub, and somehow, with that family, comes out of the building, he immediately gets up from his dream, he looks around the room,…. He’s not fully awake yet,…. he is still in his dream fighting to get up, he’s just awake in his DREAM ONLY. This is a helpless situation we often go down and down. He is again in his dream, the same background, the same place, and the same demolished building.

He is alive, the family is nowhere,…. now he is out of the building and sees smog everywhere. He starts walking unknowingly on black soil tattooed by the big tiers of huge machinery. He could feel the ridges on the road while walking that smell of coal in the air, and that devastated building.

There was nothing far away apart from black and grey textures,….. the smog around him slowly vanishes,……He swiftly finds a huge cliff on his left and sees a person sitting on the edge of the cliff, the person on the cliff sees him after a minute and finds him staring….. He sees himself.