Solutions

I want everyone to love me, but nobody does.   It seems natural; to want love.   Every kid wants to love and to be loved.  Its natural.   Maybe others are like me.  Wanting to be loved.   See, maybe when I grow up, I could start a club and call it, “The Love Club,” and I’d be the President of “The Love Club” and they’d do whatever I said ‘cause if they didn’t, I wouldn’t love them.   Hell, I’d make them kill anyone who doesn’t love me or hug me in the club.   Then, I’d be popular and everyone’d love me and no one would make fun of me or beat me up or else I’d have my friend family kick their ass and kill them.   Yea, then they’d be the loser, geek, nerd, and no one’d pick on me or steal my lunch money or anything or else I’d have my friend family kick their asses.  

      Then, everyone’d know not to mess around with me or my friends and everyone would be my friend and we’d be everywhere together.   See, maybe I’d have all my friends pay money to be part of my popular club.   I’d brainwash all of them to love me and we’d beat up anyone who’d fuck with us.  Yea, then these damn bullies would leave me alone.  Then, I’d have power, money, and popularity.   In fact, my friend family would give up their lives for me.   They’d be honored to die for me.   Unlike my parents.  

    See, both my parents work crap jobs; Double shift.   Fast food junk jobs.   See, they get home and I’m already asleep.   No help with my homework, but who cares?   The bullies’ll just steal my homework, erase my name, and put their name on it.   I tell the teachers, but the teachers think I’m the one lying and cheating and I didn’t do my homework.   But, see, when I get my geek friend family together, we’ll kill all these bastards who were mean to me.  

     Imagine us in a secret hideout so the cops couldn’t find us.   Up on the hills.   And We’d have parties with dancing, alcohol, orgies, drugs, and I’d be the cool cat.  I’d be the center of attention.   Everyone will bow to Me, with a capital M.   I’ll be their God, with super powers.   I can fly off buildings, maybe.   Or maybe they can fly off buildings first.  Then, once I’ve taught them to fly, I can fly too.   I’ll need to get losers with lower self esteem than I have.  Then, I’ll teach them to do everything I say and they’ll all think I’m cool or hot or something.   And they’ll be my puppets or servants or something and they’ll kill.  

     Maybe I’ll talk to my counselor or my parents.   Maybe then I can feel in control. No?

*

    Ok.  I did that.  The bullshit.   Asking my current superiors what to do.  They gave me a stupid index card with bullshit written on it.  “Real Solution #1:   Ignore the kids making fun of me”.   My parents and the dumb ass guidance counselor think this is the solution.   Don’t start a cult, don’t kill anyone.   Just ignore them.   Then, they’ll get bored and find someone else to bother.   Right?   Yeah, right.   Tell me, how do I ignore someone locking me in their lockers and throwing live match sticks in.  Choking.  How do I ignore choking?   Oh, yeah and when they trip me or punch me, just ignore it.   Idiots.  And they’re the ones who are supposed to be able to teach me.  Morons.  

      So, when a staff hears me screaming and crying in the locker, they got the combo from the principal’s office and me and the stupid staff member got second degree burns.   How do you ignore second degree burns?   So, I went back to the goddamn counselor, who sent me to the fucking nurse, who called my parents and then called an ambulance for me and the staff member.   The hospital gave me a skin graft and tons of water.   My parents visited the hospital after their work and talked to the counselor who was also in the hospital.   Then, after talking, they came up with “Real Solution number 2 “.  

*

    “Real Solution # 2:   Take Self Defense Courses l”.  So, they signed me up for karate.   Oh, boy.   Im a white belt.   A white boy with a white belt.   

     I liked the instructor.   Hell, he listened better than the school counselor or my folks.    And he showed me how to punch, with my thumb outside my hand.  And he showed me how to kick a kick bag and keep my balance.  He also said to only fight out of defense, not offense.   How I could use their strength against them.   He also showed me me how to block punches.   I know karate.  

    Then, I go to school and the kids try to kick my ass.   So, I use what I know from karate to defend myself.   But one of the bullies is a brown belt, one’s a purple belt, and you get the idea.   So, onto “ Real Solution #3”

*

“Real Solution # 3:   Switch schools”.   Hell, then, maybe, there won’t be any bullies there.   Right.   And maybe someday there’ll be world peace.   I got new clothes, which my parents weren’t happy about, since that’ll cost them even more money.   But, they got what they felt were in style clothes.   Hope they’re right.  

     At first, it was great.   I talked to people, they talked to me.   Maybe this’ll work.  Maybe.   And at first, it does.  I’m just a cool kid that fits in, but then, it happened.   

     One of the kids was on a sports team with a kid from my previous school and these kids talked to each other.   Why?   So the previous bully told the bully at this school. . . Do I even need to say more than that?  

*

Real solution # 4

     Maybe my parents can have me join a local club or a not so local club where I can feel accepted.    Well, what am I into?   Not being excluded.   Am I into sports?   No.  Am I into games?   No.   I’m into not being made fun of.   

Real solution # 5

Home schooling.   Self-learning?   As stated before, both my parents have multiple jobs and I could take classes online . . .   Maybe that could work.   Maybe I could just focus on the academics instead of worrying about bullies.   But what about online bullying?   Maybe they’d go on social media and put me down?  

None of the solutions worked until I found “Real Solution # 9,” which the band White Zombie or Rob Zombie wrote.   That solution was perfect.