A Hope for Love

It had been exactly 14 month, 12 days, 13 hours and 16 seconds when John decided he wanted to propose to Petronille.

He had known when he met her gaze for the first time... She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. She had long swaying dark hair and piercing blue eyes. She had a beautiful dress that matched her eyes. She looked amazing.

He knew that she was his true love, his soul mate if you must.

Every morning, when he woke up, he thought about her. At noon, he would still be thinking about her. When he went to sleep, he dreamt about her. He couldn't stop thinking about the day where he would finally ask her.

Ask her to live with him. To be his.

The day he was going to get down on one knee, and pull out that little box, with the most beautiful ring he could find.

The ring would be silver, he knew. It would have a little golden rose and a big blue saphir that matched.

He thought of thousands of different ways, and places to ask her....

But none of them felt right.

He needed somewhere special. Somewhere meaningful, a place to remember.

He knew she loved to visit new places.

Then, it hit him.

What about the city of love, the city of romance, Paris.

He immediately bought the tickets and invited her to go on a trip. She was delighted. And, two weeks later, they were both in the plane, leaving the ground. When the plane left the ground, John thought of what they would do together in the city. The visits, the monuments.

The flight was about 7 hours.

He had rented a room in a hotel he had found.

When they arrived, they dropped their stuff in the room, and headed out to visit. They got an ice cream to share, and souvenirs : three postcards and a key chain.

She asked John if they could go on the Eiffel tower, which he immediately said yes to.

They got their tickets, and got in the elevator.

He couldn't stop worrying that the little box, containing the ring, was going to fall out of his pocket. That he would have a stroke or a heart attack. That he would stumble, mumble, fall... When they got to the top, he knew it was time.

Time to ask her, to prove his love for her.

He silently placed his right knee to the ground, and pulled out the box.

-Will you marry me ?"

She didn't answer. Not right away.

Quietly, she whispered,

-I'm sorry, but i can't".

His heart was shot by Cupid's arrow and looked at her blue eyes with a feeling he had never felt before when he was with her : sadness. He wasn't angry or mad. He was just lost.

All he could stutter was,

-Why ?"

But, she didn't answer his question, she gazed out at the parisian city line. The Sacre Coeur, the haussmanian buildings, the Seine...

-I'm so sorry John, I love you, but I can't", and then, she left, crying.

He couldn't explain what had just happened.

She tried to get into an elevator to leave, but she looked lost and small. She was a small bird trying to escape. She was pushing, slamming herself in the metal cage. She was going to get crushed by the hard doors. A woman with a stroller and a little kid in her arms got out to let her in.

Patrouille whipered a "Merci beaucoup." and left in the crowd, out of sight.

John stayed in the tower for some time. He stared at the crowd in the Champ de Mars. He entered a gift shop and bought a box of chocolate.

He saw people too. And it hurt.

He saw a man propose. Younger than Jonh, dark hair and skin. The woman (asian with long hair like Petronille's) accepted with tears in her eyes.

He saw couples.

Young couples with ice cream and cell phones. Married couples with kids and strollers. Old couples with gift bags and glasses. He saw kids, adults, of all ages, ethnicities, backgrounds.

He also saw the sun, as its light darkened, looming above the city, making it look on fire. He watched as it set on the horizon and left.

He walked for minutes, seconds, hours. He walked in the streets he didn't know, getting lost. Looking for... Joy? Logic? Love?

He went back to the hotel when the street lights were already on, and the moon smiled to him with its pale face.

All her stuff was gone.

His phone buzzed. He got it out of his back pocket mechanically and stared at the screen. He expected a message from a family member that he wouldn't want to answer. The light of the phone hurt his eyes in the darkness of the room.

It was a message from Petronille

“I’m sorry, but, I can’t engage myself that much to someone.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t want to marry me, did I do anything wrong ?”

“No, it’s not you….”

He didn’t know what to say, so he turned off his phone.

He packed his stuff to leave, since he really didn’t feel like staying in Paris.

He went downstairs to check out.

A young woman in uniform was standing at the counter, typing on a computer. Her piercing blue stare reminded John of his lost love. She saw him and asked something in french. He didn't react.

She then asked in broken english if he was checking out.

He handed over the hotel key.

-I booked room 258. For two. Five days."

She took a hotel card and handed it to him.

-I hope you had a nice stay in our hotel. Thank you for coming!"

-Thanks," he answered. "Merci beaucoup mademoiselle."

She laughed and he smiled. Those blue eyes reminded him too much of Petronille's, so he left.

He got a drink at the Safe Place Cafe, next to the Hotel, where a server asked if he was okay.

He started to think about his life.

What was he going to do. He had already planned to visit many places with Petronille. He had already started to think about his wedding, before she had said no. But now, he had no longer the will to live.

All the colors in the cray drawings of his life were fading away under the rain of sadness.

His heart felt exactly like that. No colors left. And no sidewalk to build his life again, not without Petronille.

His life was a mess, and nothing could fix it.

His only true happiness was the love of his life. But now that she was gone, he couldn’t do anything. He was hopeless.

Then, his phone rang.

On his screen, was her face.

She was calling him.

She explained everything. She told him she was being stupid. That, in her youth, before she met him, she had met a charming boy, named Robert. They went out together for a while, and then, he broke her heart into a thousands little pieces.

She told John that the reason she declined the proposal, was that she was scared of being heartbroken again. But she realized that saying no had probably broken his heart. She came back to her senses, but it was too late, she was on the plane to go home.

She told him, that she was sorry.

He said it was okay. And he grabbed a taxi to the airport. He took the first plane he could to his hometown.

When he arrived, he found her laying on the couch of their apartment. Her hair was messy, she was wearing sweatpants and a hoody. But John found her beautiful.

All he could think of doing is getting down on his knee, and asking, while pulling out the ring,

“So, will you marry me now?”

Then, she cried, " Yes, yes, i'll marry you !"

He got up, and they kissed. The hope for love was over, now it was real.

Their nightmare was finally over, it was time for their dream to become a reality.

They became their own story, their fairytale.