End to the beginning

Usually, many people would expect a happy ending from many stories, but I always wondered whether there would be such thing as a 'bad ending' and not necessarily a 'happily ever after'. Stories are always so unrealistic, as if it were all in a dream since not everything in life turns out to be happy and many things turn out to be sad; so what really is...a...'happily ever after'?

I am born, I am living, but am I from the beginning or the end? I seem to be elderly and feeble, but I don't remember my beginning; did I even have a time in my life where I was young and fearless? There are so many things that I can't seem to remember, one of them which I try hard to search, through the ancient books of time and scroll down every single second of my life which I remember. The answer isn't simply here; here I am, sitting on a wheelchair, lost and afraid, going through the memories which I still contain, ones of happiness, and depression.

Questions start to jumble up in my head, scrambling from one place to another, I can't seem to catch one since another new question keeps appearing. Alas, I finally caught one! It asked, what is my purpose of living now that I am alone and lost, in the never ending fear of death, and how it will reach it's blade through the claws and take a person into the afterworld. What other purpose and meaning living in fear and confusion would I have to serve myself now? I...I-...really don't know. I started wondering about something, just as simple as a chilly breeze blowing in the hot summer day as I drifted off to sleep on my bed.

Dreams are always so of fantasy. I couldn't remember what I was dreaming of...It seemed like a little boy, as I recalled, walking through the dark woods. Suddenly, I remembered! The little boy was definitely and obviously me! But when did I evoke the feeling of walking in the dark, scary woods? There were no woods; nor forests near my area. I lived in this cozy, comfy cabin near a pond. Trees lay far out in my area, about three miles away. I never went to the woods, but here I am in my dream, seeing a little boy, which was me, walking to the woods. I didn't want to go in the woods, but I didn't want to stop my past self either..oh what am I to do?

The little boy went farther in the woods, hearing ominous sounds that sounded for some reason, like death. Trees at first seemed like a good thing of good shape and appearance, but when the night drew out; everything was pitch black, revealing no sign of daylight. Trees now started to haunt the young boy, having frightened expressions of worry and anxiety, the boy seemed lost, and in every direction he ran, he could not find the cabin. He ran, and ran, soon out of breath, and gasping at what was behind him; it looked like a monster to him. He started running with his two legs, faster than stars screaming in the night sky..aware of the monster behind him. He fell down on his knees, not daring to look back. Then the ground collapsed, and he fell in the darkness, reaching his hand out to the sky and screaming a silent, quiet scream. He fell and fell, until he landed on a soft surface, and right then when I awoke in bed.

Still the question came up many times as I stayed awake in bed during the creeping night. Was this my end, or my beginning? Where can I find this answer? Who can help me? A sensation of adventure suddenly arose and I automatically pushed it away. I cannot leave this cabin, it is my home. What am I doing anyway? Then, as if inevitable fate depended on this, the answer became clear. I needed to find my beginning before my end, death.

It was already too late. Death came for me. A arose from my bed into a dark world of lights. There, I saw golden keys that I thought, represented life. I try to reach out automatically for the one that shined the brightest. Unfortunately, a monster came snatching all the keys. This is it..I said. I needed to find out my beginning. Who am I? I know I was not just an elderly old man dreaming of bizarre things. WHO AM I?!

I rewinded into time, seeing my every form, that I was not just a human, but an object too...An object of destruction. I was used in World War II, a bomb that destroyed and conquered.

I was also a symbol of peace.

Also the very monster that haunted my previous self as a child in the woods, the black, demon that I absolute feared.

I took many forms, but what did it actually mean? Nothing..I thought... it meant absolutely nothing, what am I supposed to do now since it all meant nothing?

Or did it?...

I tried to flee from the dark place with the golden keys, but a feeling of yearning and desperateness brought me back. I did not want to to go back. Why is my body not listening to my commands? As I recalled, it was no longer my body. I had already died in my sleep. So what am I now? A ghost? A ghoul? A spirit? No..I thought. I am the end, and also the beginning. I have found my death, which is the end, and I also found my beginning, which were the different lives, forms, and shapes I took. But I did not end in a happy ending, in fact, I found myself actually in living hell and fighting the very monster that haunted me in all my lives, the one in the deep...dark...scary and ominous woods.