New School, Same Principle

      What is going to be different? Boarding school, a place for the elite as a lot of people say. What does that even mean? Am I going to be an elite loner now in this new place? Am I in the upper echelon now of loser and geeks? Well, it doesn’t matter. You change schools, meet new people, new teachers, and all that jazz. But is it any different in the grand scheme of things? No. I am going to be just another face in a school that has stricter rules, more work, and have to join a stupid club. I would like to say I hate it here but…no I hate it here.

I sigh heavily as I walk through the door to my dorm and sat my bag down on my bed. I didn't want any decorations, pictures, or anything that could remind me of home. Nothing bad happened or anything heartbreaking, but it just was an unnecessary commodity. The only thing I brought with me is a small tank with my pet tortoise. He is pretty low maintenance and easy to care for. I look over at my roommate's side of the room and see everything she put up. She had pictures of friends, her family, an 80s band poster secured with scotch tape, and her bed comforter had a picture of a sleeping puppy on it. It’s easy to tell that she is a lively person just from looking at her stuff.

           "This is going to be a drag. I haven't done a single thing here and I already hate everything." I plop down face first on my stale gray bed, groaning as I can hear the door open. I sat up, seeing my roommate on her phone and texting. I am already dreading talking to her.

           "Hello Willow," I say dryly as I fix my skirt. The wrinkles on my clothes bothering me as I try to smooth them out. I initially try to avoid eye contact with her, but I was always told to at least look a person in the eyes once when you talk with them

           "Hey, Brooke. I can see that you are still as dreary and ghostly as you were a week ago," Willow responded as she stood in front of the mirror, brushing her long brown hair. I can see that she is at least trying to engage as she looks at me through the mirror.

           "What can I say. I didn't want this. Public school was just fine, but I guess my potential hasn't been unleashed yet." I rub my hand on the back of my neck, looking at my pale skin as I close my eyes. I can feel my mood begin to diminish slower as I talk with her. I need a distraction.

           "Well, it could be worse. You could be going to a radical Christian school where you are brainwashed into believing that gay people shouldn't exist." The venom in her tone is very evident and I can tell she had a falling out at a previous school.

           "How would they feel about a person who doesn't even want to make babies and doesn't feel romantic love?" I lean back against the wall, bringing my knees up to my chest as I wrap my arms around them. "Is burning at the stake still a thing?"

            "Sorry, but we outlawed that just two months ago. If you like me to appeal it, I will happily oblige." Brooke gave a small laugh as she put the brush down and looked over at me. "But seriously, I think you will be fine. You only have about two more years and then you are finished. You can make a lot of friends here and over at Chesterfield a few blocks away."

           I look up at the girl, almost forgetting how she towers over me no matter if I stand or sit. I can feel myself sink lower and bring my knees tighter against my person. That feeling in the pit of my stomach starts to crawl its way up through me.

           "I know. It's just...I am not good with people. I had a handful of friends I could hang out with and just chill. It's gonna take time for me to feel that way towards these people." I close my eyes and rest my forehead against my kneecaps. I can feel my insecurity building up more just at the thought of this. I feel like I might have a panic attack when I feel Brooke's hand touch my shoulder.

           "You don't have to worry about a thing. Because you got me." I look up at her as she says this, her smile wide and eyes shining for a moment. I can feel my face flush. I am not used to strangers showing blind kindness to me in such a capacity. “Besides, there are kids of every caliber here at this school. If you want to be a loner, then you can join the others at Princeton Hall when they get out of class. All they do is sit there and just…exist in one another’s company.”

           I cock my head slightly as I hear these words. I shake my head some while processing this information. “I don’t want to be a loner. It’s just what I am. I would like friends, but I am at my best when I am by myself. And with Tortoise Hemmingway.” I cast my gaze over at the pet staring at the both of us, eating a piece of lettuce without a care in the world.

           “The reason I bring them up is that I hung out with them for the first few months of my freshman year. I had asked the senior of the group, Tommy I believe, why he formed it. Said he didn’t. It was formed 10 years ago when a group of students just got together and did nothing. Think of it as the first club many students go to. They unknowingly help you find yourself.”

            I look down for a moment before releasing my grip on my legs. I take a deep breath and look up at Brooke.

           “Thanks. I do feel better now. But before anything happens…can you show me to the dining hall? I am starving.”

           “Of course. Just follow me.”