The Moon

Standing in a field, Bruce gazed up at the starless sky. The wind tore at his skin, its icy breath beckoning him to go back inside to his house where the warmth would thaw him through and he’d be safe from whatever was out with him under the cover of darkness.

But he couldn't. He wouldn’t. His eyes were fixed on the sky, the starless ink void. Where was she??? He couldn’t find her anywhere on the expansive canvas of quiet hell, a sight of which had used to comfort him. She was always there for him, hanging up in the sky, shining quietly down on the world. She had watched him since he was born. She had raised him when his parents didn't, keeping him safe and in line.

People always told him he was crazy. The moon wasn't alive, everyone knows that. It's just a giant chunk of rock locked into orbit by the earth's gravitational pull. But Bruce didn't believe them. He knew her. She was a beautiful woman, standing stoically every night, watching. She had watched the birth of everyone, she watched them grow old, and she watched them die. She never left, she stayed with each person all their life. 

The moon had told Bruce that she loved each new baby born, and always wished the best for everyone, and she was sad when they didn't get that. She told him that she was jealous of earth and all her children, something none of the other planets had ever had the chance to have. Mars always said she would raise the best, strongest children, and Neptune cried sometimes knowing any child of theirs wouldn't survive the brutality of their storms. Saturn was proud of his moons. He was the only planet with children, the adoptive kind – they all twirled around him, circling their father with love and adoration. Saturn wasn’t lonely anymore, he was loved.

The moon told Bruce about the sun and how she was always grateful for her and the warmth she had brung to the children of earth. She thanked her for bathing her in a sliver of silver light every night, lending her illumination lovingly to the moon so she could bring light to those lost little ones down on earth. She loved the sun for the radiance she caressed on her surface, and sometimes she wished they were closer so she could feel the warmth of the giant beautiful woman that she had danced in circles with for millions and millions of years. But getting too close spelled her doom, as the sun's heat and sheer luminosity would kill the moon. So, they smiled at each other from afar, and the sun bathed her in that lustrous glow she had for millions of years.

The moon had told Bruce that sometimes she was afraid. She was small compared to all the other planets, and Venus and Mars who were earth's close sisters could be so intense sometimes.

Every month the Moon would take a break, turning her back to the children of earth for a few days to recollect herself, and the Sun would reign in the bleed of her glow to give her Love some much needed alone time. Bruce would always be sad when it was her time, but he knew she’d turn back around, brighter than ever, to face and guide the children of the earth again.

But it wasn't the time. She had told him she would always leave only once a month, and he had those days when she said she'd be gone marked on his calendar. This wasn't one of those times. She was supposed to be here. He needed her now, desperately.

Tears started forming in his eyes, he wasn’t sure whether they were from the cold bite of the icy night wind stinging them or the much greater pain of being utterly and completely abandoned. There were no clouds in the sky, nor stars. Venus was hiding too. Wiping his eyes, Bruce screamed, calling out to her. He cried into the sky, asking her where she had gone. His screams echoed around the valley and after a few seconds devolved into just sobs. He doubled over before dropping to his knees, rubbing his tears away with his palms. He could finally feel how cold the wind was, and it bled into his bones, making him shiver. He didn't want to go inside though, he wasn't going to leave. Bruce laid down on the grass and rolled onto his back. He was going to lay out there until the moon came back for him. 

Staring determinedly into the sky at night reminded him of the days when he and his sister would sneak outside and hide in the grass. They’d stay out so late, just counting stars and telling stories as the moon watched and listened overhead. He talked to them more back then. He hadn’t heard much from the moon in months, not since she went to the hospital. 

He really wished she was here with him now, then they could count stars again just like they used to and ignore the rest of the world. Ignore all the fear, and all the loss. But now it was only Bruce.

His breath formed fleeting clouds as he stared up at the sky, without the moon, without the stars, without his sister, without his mom. He closed his eyes as another tear rolled into the grass, attracting the bite of the cold night air to its slick wet surface. He shakily sighed another stream of misty breath as he felt his exhaustion start to creep around the edges of his mind, making his body heavy and oddly weighted, tied to the frigid earth he laid upon. Soon, he was asleep, freezing slowly as he dreamt about the family he lost. Worst case scenario, he’d be with them again soon.

Then, he felt a familiar glow bathe him. He felt warm, his body strangely numb, and he woke up. 

Shining down on him was the soft gentle gaze of the moon. She smiled softly down at him, and he felt the breath leave his body. She had come back. She was there, hanging in the sky, looking down at him as he sat on the icy ground. 

My child, her voice rang in his mind, full of love, and the slightest hint of amusement. What are you doing down there in the grass?? Bruce sniffed and wiped off his face.

“I- I was waiting for you.” his voice was shaky and weak, but right then he didn’t care. “I- I was alone. I needed someone but- but you weren’t there.”

She hummed softly. I’m sorry you couldn’t find me, my dear, but I promise to you, I’ve been here the whole time. I couldn’t find you.

Bruce furrowed his brows a bit. “What… what do you mean??”

There was something… obscuring you. You were lost. I tried to find you too, but… I couldn’t until just now when you fell asleep.

“But that- that doesn’t make sense, I was right here!”

But your mind wasn't. Your mind was too cloudy and cluttered for me to find. But you've calmed down now… I can see you again.

Bruce brought his eyes off of the moon and turned them to the frozen earth beneath him. He didn’t understand what that meant, or what it meant for him. His head was starting to feel a bit dizzy, like his brain was tingling, and his breath became shakier. 

“I don’t- I don’t know why-” but his voice just cut off. He was too cold, his body too numb.

The moon hummed softly, a soft low buzz inside his mind. My son, you need to go inside. You're freezing.

“I’m… not…..” 

Please go in. I know they’re not around anymore, and I know you feel alone, but you can’t stay out here. You can’t. You must go on.

Bruce dragged his eyes back up to the sky, feeling like his face was lead. The moon seemed so close now, so big she covered most of the sky. A beam of her moonlight stretched down from her pale figure and gently held him in its luminance. No matter what happens, Bruce, just remember that you're not alone. You will always have me, and the stars, and the memories. Your sister and mother will always be with you, even if they’re up here with me, and my love, and all the stars. They’ll stay with you just like I do.

Bruce felt a cold tear roll down his face as he choked out a strangled exhale.

“But… I’m not ready for them to go…”

You never will be, but you will always recover. You’ll never be the same, and it will always hurt, but the pain will get softer. The agony always passes, leaving only faint scars in its wake. And someday, you may even find someone who will help fill the void they’ve left— not replace them, nor their memories, but add to the preexisting memories and love. Someday, something will come who eases your pain, whether it be a person, animal, or a cacophony of things you’ll find comfort in. Someday, the pain will dull. Maybe not soon, but it will get better. 

Bruce sniffed and closed his eyes before just quickly rubbing the tears from them. He stood up slowly, body slightly stiff from the cold, and he looked up at her again.

“…thank you. I’m- I’m sorry I worried you.”

The moon just chuckled softly, a deep, warm sound saturated in love.

I worry for everyone, darling. Don’t feel bad. It’s my job. Now run along, warm up, child, I’m not leaving anytime soon.

So Bruce did. He slowly limped back home and was greeted at the door by his dog. She wagged her tail excitedly as she licked his hands, happy to see him. He smiled down at her and pet her face.

“Hi, Holly.” he croaked as they walked over to his couch. He laid down and brought a blanket over himself, but not before Holly jumped up beside him and laid beside him, warming him up gently. He sighed shakily as the heat of his house made his skin feel like it was burning.

But he wasn’t alone. He had the moon, and he had Holly. He had his cats, his coworkers, and his singular friend. But he was young, barely 23, and he had many, many, many years yet to come. There were so many people he had yet to meet, so many things yet to do. He had no idea what the future had in store for him, but he did know that no matter what, no matter who he lost, he would always have the moon, the stars, the sun. He would always have the grass, the trees, the bugs, the wind, and the sea. He would always love for everything surrounding him. He would always live down here on earth.

And so with a soft smile and his dog in his arms, Bruce fell asleep on the couch, in his house, in the woods, in the Earth which continued to spin, steadily and slowly on its axis, just as it had in millennia past, and just as it will for millennia yet to come.