Adolescent Love

They say you don't find love, but rather love finds you. Well to say the least, Diana had not foreseen finding love, nor love finding her. With all that she had been through with him, after all that had been said and done, she didn't believe that they would find their way back to each other this time. It just couldn't be possible, not after everything that had been said and done. Yet there she was, hanging her feet off her bed on a dry afternoon, hoping for a sliver of happiness to reach her, when she received a..... * DING * Imessage from Isaiah. Diana's heart began to sink to her feet. What the heck is he looking for this time? She reflected, and in that moment, she realized that she didn't pine for Isaiah so much as she yearned for the idea of him. "I miss you." Ugh, he's so CLASSIC. Diana kept her feet hanging off the edge of her bunk, pondering what she could possibly say to this boy that she hadn't said before. The boy who comes and goes as he pleases, stealing a bit of her heart in the process. OKAY, this is IT. I don't need him, nor do I need this. I believe it is beyond time for me to start giving back what I have received. "Id miss me too lol". She typed, throwing her phone half way across the room letting out a obnoxious laugh. * DING* Wow . She thought to herself, he must really be desperate this time. And like fire to an old flame, she picked her phone up responding to his every message, conversations like lightning. Unfortunately he was the one person that could make her laugh, and though on paper they were not a perfect match, when she was with him Diana forgot about everything that was wrong in the world. But could she? How could she just move on this time and pretend everything was okay? "Come back to ruin my life again? lol." And there it was, reality seeping its way into there relationship again. What Diana failed to acknowledge was that, every time he left she lost a bit of her respect for him, she lost a bit of hope. And the one question burning a hole in both their minds that very night was whether or not they would make it through this time. "I want you back" Diana rolled her eyes. Love had always been a fickle part of Diana life. She hadn't grown up in an affectionate home, but through her high school years her best friends had forced love into her life. Classic again, tell me something I haven't heard before. She said to herself. "You say you want me back and yet Ive seen you do nothing to prove it Isaiah. Im tired of you, and Im tired of this and to be honest with you I think we both know I can do better than you but I stayed because I genuinely believed you would change. That was my bad though, wont let it happen again." Pretending to hurt him, hurt her more than it hurt him. Though she felt every word that she wrote, it the back of her head, somewhere in her heart she still held out hope for him. She so badly wanted it to be him and her in the end. Thats what they had agreed on, him and her against everything. But recently it had been him against her, on top of everything. " You know what, I don't need this either but here I am Diana. Here I am, year after year. Summer after summer. Does that not count for anything? You know I love you." And that was the part that hurt the most, the " I love you's ". It didn't make sense to her. Was love supposed to be this hard? Was it even real? How could someone who claims to love me, treat me so bad, TALK to me so disgustingly. " Like I said before, my love for you does not and never will obligate me to stick around and put up with your nonsense. Don't get it twisted." There was a point in time where they would've done anything for each other but like anything else in this cruel world, time and age draws out disaster. " Alright. Alright. Relax. I just don't want to lose you, I dont know what Id do without you." His words always cut through her like knives. It was just so funny to think about how far they had come and how much they had actually been through together. It seemed unnatural and unreal and yet every night she went to bed, she pictured herself laying on his chest just to find comfort. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, he was her safe place. “If you actually valued our relationship or whatever we had left of it then we wouldn't be where we are today.” She didn’t want to keep pushing him because if she did, it would end badly. I just don't know anymore. It's like I can't win, I feel like everything I do just completely backfires. Diana paced around her room for ten minutes… and then twenty…. and then thiry and then… * DING* “ HELLO?” She couldn't help but laugh, see that was just it. For someone that used to wholesomely try to prove that they're nonchalant he sure does do a lot in hopes of getting me back. UGH What on earth am I going to do with this boy. I can't live with him and I can't live without him. In the back of her head she knew that she would always find a way back to him. It really just was a matter of time. “Okay. Give me two weeks. I want to take some time to myself, work on my mental health and then I'll let you know.” She said putting her faith into him once again, hoping that he would be the loving, loyal, and supportive guy that she knows he could be if he wanted. “I love you Diana. I don't care what you say. You're always going to be mine, and I'll be right here for you when you’re done taking your time to yourself.” She read his message, rolled into bed, slipped under her satin sheets, and drifted off into a deep sleep...