The quagmire

My friend stared into the night sky with an empty gaze. His heart was like an empty vessel that could never be satiated. He felt he was sinking slowly into a self-made quagmire. Deep in his heart, he knew he was not happy. This was just one of the many nights he would stay awake late into the night. He feared he was becoming insomniac.

 He was a good looking guy with a confident stature and was successful as modern society would put it. Success is an individualistic term, but as far as society is concerned, success tantamounts to one's pecuniary status, the car he drives, the house he lives in, and other materialistic possessions.

He was the epitome of a successful citizen in the coveted eyes of the common man.

He was the son of an illustrious lawyer, and as destiny befalls, he was fated to be a

lawyer and carry on the family legacy. As you can imagine, the propensity to

carry on the family's legacy was an enforced endeavor rather than his heart's

wish. Yet my friend stood by his father's desire. He was tender of age to make

any decisions by himself and never dared to go against his father's wish.

He studied law and emerged from law school with impeccable grades. The brilliant type he was, he passed out the law school with flying colors.

He started as a junior lawyer under the aegis of his father's firm. The clique comprised few acute lawyers, where some were partners, and few were juniors working at the firm.

So started the professional journey of my friend. He was very young at that time, and more importantly, was brimming with confidence. Being the precocious type, he soon was confident enough that he started to attend the court sessions with his father

very quickly. Though he was generally reticent, in the courtroom, he was a

different man. He was very eloquent and made cogent arguments that were

appreciated by all. Before long, he began to represent his father for some of

the cases in the court.

Time flows in a jiffy, and my friend reached the 30s. He was now a reputed lawyer.

His life was mostly his profession with the occasional parties and trips he used to have with his close friends. To put in a nutshell, it seemed that my friend had touched

the heavens.

He lived happily ever after…..

Well, if life was really so considerate! No doubt my friend had reached the pinnacle of

success. He had drunk his share of nectar, is what we may feel.

Was he really happy? Irrespective of his material status, deep in his heart, he knew he was not happy. The successes all seemed to be very shallow. All the enigmatic

questions that afflict every one of us also tortured him. He was human, after

all. He had everything in the world a common man aspires for. But deep within

himself, he knew he was not happy. The job, the money, the weekend parties,

friends or anything else happening in his life would not give him a real joy,

but only ephemeral pleasures. He often felt that there was a substantial hollow in his heart that was never to be filled to satiety by what he was doing.

As he pondered all these questions, he started to become introverted. As he questioned himself, it became clear as to the root cause of his unhappiness!

From his childhood, he was very passionate about nature and wildlife. Nothing gave him more joy and happiness than going to jungles, watching the birds, mammals, and flora. The wonders of nature smote him, and a seed was deposited deep within. He dreamt of becoming an ecologist or a naturalist. He always wanted to be a student of nature.

But he never had the colossal effrontery to stand before his father and speak his heart out. He also didn't want to hurt his parent's feelings. He acquiesced to pursue his

father's dream rather than listen to his heart.

Every now and then, when he listened to the song of a bird, or when he saw a beautiful flower attracting bees or other insects to pollinate, he used to become maudlin. The past would come and haunt him in a flash. A terrible itch used to overtake him as he lay in despondency, gazing pointlessly at the skies in the night.

Gradually, he started to despise his work. His job no longer enthralled him. He became more and more introverted with each passing day.

He found no meaning to his existence. What was he living for? He definitely didn't want to collapse and die sitting in his office chair or the courtroom.

One day, he was browsing the computer, and an advertisement popped up regarding an expedition in the Amazon jungle. The advertisement was calling people who would be interested in going to Amazon on an expedition, and interested volunteers could

apply. As my friend kept thinking about this expedition late into the night, a

barn owl screeched outside his house. As he gazed outside the window, he was

able to see the outline of the owl perched on a branch. My friend had an

epiphany; he then and there decided that he was to follow his heart's wish

rather than putrefy gradually by living as someone else.

The next day, my friend got ready to face his father with a determined will. His

father sat on his office chair, with a cigar in his hand. My friend entered the

room sweating profusely. He suddenly felt an inclination to get out, but

gathering all his wits, he stuttered "father". His father stared at him surprisingly as he leaned back on his chair.

"Father," he said, "I have decided to follow my heart. This profession is taking the

joy out of my life. It no longer is enthusiastic as before. It feels like I am

being confined and not living my life to the fullest. I no longer want to

continue on the same path. I feel I have to follow what my heart says. I

believe you can understand what I am saying. I am more interested in living a

fuller life than living to be more materialistic and lead a life I was not

meant to. Please remember that we have but one life to lead. We have to make

the most out of it. You have supported me all this life, and I hope you will

wish me good luck in whatever I want to do. Please do not think that I am

deserting you. Please bless me."

Saying thus, my friend dashed out to collect his packings for the Amazon expedition as his father saw in disbelief his son dash out of the room.