Don't Do This

The young couple, Megan and Alan, had barely slept at all. They rushed through breakfast, which they never did during Sacred Saturday Snuggles and Silliness. They rarely left their house before noon on those days; heck, they usually didn’t even change out of their pajamas until somewhere around lunchtime. They had a great life and each of them loved their way of living.

But today there would be an exciting change, they were out to buy their first new car. The hand-me-down that Megan had gotten from her parents was fine, but it was old and small, and they had already outgrown its usefulness. Alan still drove the clunker pick-up he’d bought while he was in college, and it was, well, a clunker. They were adults, they were married, a family now, and they were ready to move forward.

Megan chattered almost nervously as they drove, going on about safety features, mini-van verses SUV, warranties, she just went on and on. Alan drove on, mulling his own thoughts of what their new car would be. He worked hard, saved his money so one day he would be able to buy his dream car. Hopefully, this would be the day.

The dealership was huge, cars for miles, it seemed. Megan pulled a notebook from her bag, referring to notes she had been making over the past week or so. Alan was flabbergasted, it was like she planned on looking at every car on the lot.

Megan walked to the mini-van section first, admiring the sleekness of the newer models, not at all like the ones when she was a kid.

“Oh, look! Alan, come look at the video display screen. It even has Bluetooth.” Megan seemed about to swoon. Alan looked on with bewilderment. What did they need a video display screen for the backseats of their car? Was Megan planning on riding in the back? Did she think he would? Why did they need that many seats anyway?

“Megan,” Alan called to her, “come look at this car. This is exactly was we are looking for. It even has Bluetooth.” Megan’s eyes followed Alan as he walked over to the convertibles. What was he thinking? Was he even thinking? He couldn’t be.

“Alan,” Megan began as she walked over to him, “I know you’ve always wanted a convertible, but that’s just not practical now. We’re a family and we need a family car.”

Alan’s tension was obvious. This was not how this day was supposed to be. He looked at his wife as she stood next to him, back ramrod straight, staring at the convertible before her as if she had laser-vision and could vaporize it with her eyes.

“Yes, I have always wanted a car like this. Now I can afford it. I want to get it. I don’t see the problem.” Alan realized he sounded petulant, but he was feeling like a kid asking his mom for the new video game and she didn’t understand its importance.

Megan turned to face him; her arms tightly crossed. She knew this was bound to become a serious fight and felt helpless to stop it. Probably because she didn’t know why they were fighting to begin with. They left the house with a singular purpose, buy a new car for their family. This convertible was not a family car.

On the verge of tears, Megan slowly turned and walked away, trying to understand how this perfect day had gotten so far off track. She felt rather than heard Alan approach her. She stopped, and in a strained voice asked, “What is the problem with the mini-van? It is safe and has plenty of room. How can you possibly think a convertible would be an appropriate family car for us?”

Oh, that was it! Alan could feel his irritation getting the best of him, and right now he didn’t care. “Megan,” Alan said, while working hard to maintain his poise, “now is the perfect time for us to get a convertible. Great weekend trips, riding along the beach with the top down, hell, riding anywhere with the top down!”

“What do you think a family car is for, Alan?” Megan felt the tears filling her eyes, but she no longer cared. Something was terribly wrong, but she couldn’t quite grasp it. “We can’t raise a family with a convertible. It isn’t very safe. There’s hardly any trunk space. And I don’t think a car seat would even fit in that backseat.”

Alan ran his hands through his hair. He saw what had to be at least the third salesman walking toward them; they seemed to sense the friction, though, and each one had done an about-face and returned to the showroom.

“No, Megan, it probably won’t fit a car seat, and that’s okay because we don’t need a car seat. When we talked these past weeks about getting a family car, I meant for our family. You and me. Why do we need something bigger? A video display screen?” Alan gave her the look that she always knew meant he was digging his heels in and didn’t plan to budge.

But he was also a practical man, so she tried again. “Alan, this purchase of a car is a big investment for something we’re going to have for a long time. No, we don’t need a car seat now, but someday….” She let her words trail off for a moment, hoping to see a glimmer of realization and acceptance on her husband’s face. His mastery of stoicism was so frustrating to her.

“I see what you’re saying, Babe,” Alan deliberately softened his tone. “You want to get the car that will suit us now and a few years in the future when you expect we would need additional space, distractions, and all the best safety features. But what I want… what I expect to still need, what I mean to say is…”

Her look of confusion with a growing hurt dawning caused Alan to stumble on his words. “Megan, you’re so genuinely hopeful and optimistic about life and people, but you seem to turn the words you hear into the words you wanted to hear. Or you believe that undesirable situations will eventually turn around to the way you want them.”

Megan shot him an angry glare. “Don’t do this. You are not going to do this. Not now. Not here, in the middle of the car dealership lot.” Her words were mere hisses.

Alan reached out to stroke her arm, but Megan took a step back, just out of his reach. “Babe,” he said, “the convertible will be a good car for us, now, and still in the years to come. I have never wanted, and still don’t want, to have kids.”

Before she turned to walk back to the hand-me-down, she gave him one more brief glance, and what he saw was a look of true hatred.