Email from Arnie

Settling myself at my desk I powered up my Macbook as I sipped my freshly brewed coffee. I was working from home today. As usual, I connected to my Wifi and opened my email inbox. Glancing idly at the list of emails I received, I sat bolt upright. I had noticed an email which made me stop right in my tracks. Fortunately for me, I had put down my coffee cup by then.

It was from my old friend Arnold, inviting me to chat with him on Whatsapp. My mind went back to those days when Arnold and I were bosom pals. Our other friends called us the 'peas of a pod.' Well, we had similar tastes and then were working in the same organisation. Arnold was also, like me a bibliophile and we would keep talking about the authors and books we read or were intending to read. Both of us dabbled in some writing and would share those experiences too. I remember Arnold sharing how he felt so depressed when he got his first rejection slip from a literary magazine. Having had a similar experience the other day, I sat with him and made sure he came out of his despair.

But then we had a great falling out. It was over a trifle, as usually, these things are. But the result was that we split. It was sudden and complete. It helped that I had secured a job elsewhere and had to leave the town. All this was seven years ago.

Going up North I slowly rid myself of all my old memories. Acquired new friends and haunts. Making new friends, getting adjusted to the new work ethic, and so on. In fact, I forgot Arnold almost completely. Suddenly, today, without any indication I got this email, asking me to reconnect to him.

"Should I respond positively?" I wondered. One part of me was telling me to ignore the email and get on with my life. After all, I was doing capitally by myself. But the other half was pleading, "What if Arnie needs some help? Can't I for old time’s sake help him out? How can I be so ruthless?"

I was torn between the two half inside me, suffered a severe headache. I went to the kitchen and brewed myself another cup of fresh hot coffee. Nursing the dup in my hands I returned and sat before my Macbook.

The two in me argue:

"Well, Martin, be Christian. Forgive, forget and get a move on. You can say yes."

"No way, Martin, just because he sends an email you don't have to know tow and suck up to him. Where is your self-esteem?"

"The more you harbour this bitterness, the more it will affect you. Forgiving is healing to yourself too."

"Forgive! That stupid fellow Arnie? I can still recall the hurtful words he said of me at the last party. That too in front of our boss. How can I forget?"

The see-saw continued between my Mr Jekyll and my Dr Hyde. The effect was, a splitting headache for me. Having to abandon my attempt at any semblance of work, I had to retreat to my living room to get some solace. My favourite cosy mystery on my kindle, while listening to some soothing classical music, I tried. But the inner voices continued to quarrel. Somehow I survived till the end of the day, had a Thai takeaway curry for my supper and went to bed early. But the muse of sleep continued to evade me successfully.

Tossing and turning, I spent the night half-awake and still pondering my dilemma. Got some nightmares too which I could not, fortunately, recall in the morning. Bleary-eyed, I got up and stumbled my way to the kitchen. The burbling of the percolator and the waft of the coffee aroma woke me up completely. Nursing my first cup of coffee, I settled into my seat in the den. The curling steam from my cup tickled my nostrils as I nursed the cup in my hands.

"What shall I do with this email?"

"Shall I just ignore and banish it into my bin?"

"Or shall I take it up and try to reconnect with Arnie?"

I powered my Macbook up and opened my email. Looked at Arnie's mail again. Read it properly again.

"Dear Martin," it read, "I would like us to let past be past. Let's reconcile and get back together at least now. I would like you to forgive me even as I forgive you, unconditionally. Will you do it, Martin? I ask this because I was forgiven by my Saviour and Lord just recently. I took the step of repenting and asking to forgive me. And he did! What a relief Marty! I strongly recommend that you do this as I did. Let us be brothers together in the Lord. God bless and direct you Martin. Love, Arnie."

Having read it, I took a deep breath and sat ruminating a while.

My mind was a whirligig of emotions and feelings. I recalled how I would find my mum kneeling down in prayer most of the time. She would keep telling me, "Marty! the only thing that finally matters is how you relate to God. Please read the Bible and follow the Lord Jesus Christ." She would repeatedly request me to go with her to church and to gospel meetings. But I was stubborn and refused to listen to her. Spurned her many times. Even when she pleaded with tears. Somehow I was cruel and heartless on that issue. Those memories swirled in my mind now.

Finally, after my third cup of coffee, I decided.

I searched for and got the Bible my mother has gifted me with, years ago. Took a dust-cloth and wiped it. Opened it and started reading. I didn't know where to start, so I opened at random and read. I kept reading.

Hours later, tears streaming from my eyes, I repented. Remembering how I strayed far from the faith of my mother, I came back to God. Knelt before him and offered my broken heart to him. Peace and joy filled my heart then. Real peace and Shalom! I was overwhelmed and felt satisfied.

Of course, the first thing I did was to email my brother Arnie with the good news. Fully forgiving him and reconnecting was so easy now!

I somehow was sure that my Mom, in heaven above would be very happy for me today! One email in my inbox yesterday, what a great turn my life has taken!