The Mind is A Time Thief

 The Mind is A Time Thief

The announcement came over the loudspeaker strategically placed on the corner and in the middle of every road, since the beginning of lock-down. “Get up and be thankful for this day, for you are alive and breathing. Take a shower, eat breakfast, and get ready for another exciting day of being alive. And most importantly, don’t forget to sanitize, sanitize, sanitize!” Ugh, I mumbled to myself. The morning announcements never got easier. When the lock-down happened, everyone was moved into a prefab house, dragged from our homes, our belongings were taken, and our worlds ripped apart. The virus had wiped out half the population. If you weren’t hospitalized by the virus, you were quarantined and re-homed. If you had a fever of more than 100 degrees, showing signs of coughing, fatigue, or just any signs of being sick, you were automatically taken to the hospital and placed in isolation. I was lucky. I hadn’t had any signs or symptoms of any kind of illness.

I got up out of bed. I turned my nose up to the excessive amount of white in my room. Everywhere I looked I saw white. White sheets, white blankets, white towels, white clothes. I’m so sick of white, I thought to myself. White meant sanitary. If it wasn’t perfectly white, it wasn’t perfectly sanitized. A stupid saying that I’ve almost convinced myself was true with as many times as I have heard it. I walked into my bathroom and grabbed a disposable toothbrush from the toiletries cabinet and placed my new toothbrush under the dispenser for the toothpaste. I brushed for the recommended amount of time, then grabbed a disposal bag and placed my now used toothbrush inside. I twist-tied the bag, then dropped it down into the garbage bin. We weren’t allowed to go outside, so we had to place full bags in a designated spot right inside of our door. A “keeper” as they were called, would come to collect our daily garbage and sanitize the area. A keeper. As if we're in a friggen zoo.

I thought about how life was simple before the virus as I turned the water on in my shower. Showers were even complicated at this point. Everyone was given a 10-minute shower once daily to conserve water. With the authorities not knowing how much of the World’s water supply had been contaminated from the virus, the water supply was on Code Red. Water rations were laughable. Although without having to do our own laundry or dishes every day, the only real need for water was drinking and toileting. I hopped out of my white, boring clothes and jumped into the shower. The water seemed a little warmer today than usual. They must have a new person working the facilities today, I thought. I wasn’t going to argue. Anything over piss warm was a blessing, so I washed my hair and finished up. The water pressure had begun to lower, so I knew my time was almost up. I just wanted to stand under the water a few seconds longer. It felt like warm rain. I let the droplets caress my body and daydreamed about what it would be like to see a rainbow outside again. The water cut off. I grabbed the towel and unwrapped it. Even the towels were wrapped, for our safety of course. After drying off, I placed the towel back into the plastic it came in and dropped it into the laundry container. I walked to my bedroom, already feeling a little better about my day. I reached into my dresser and pulled out a pair of white socks, white panties, and a white bra. I put them on and walked to my closet. In the closet, a row of white crew neck tee shirts hung on one side, and a row of white joggers hung on the other. I grabbed one of each and threw them on. I quickly grabbed my laundry and stuck the container by my door. It was almost 7 a.m. and that meant breakfast, if that’s what you want to call it, was on its way. I didn’t know for sure it was almost seven, but it was a guess. When they yanked us out of our homes and stuck us in these prefab pieces of crap, they took any means of telling time, watching the news, getting on the internet, or anything that could give us any insight to the outside world, away from us. I sat on my sofa and waited for the morning knock. I kind of liked it when breakfast was brought, because that meant I got a few minutes to talk to one of my favorite people, Sam. Sam was a tall and thin, handsome man, whom I think sort of liked me too. We didn’t get to talk a whole lot, but when we did I always had a smile on my face. Sometimes, I even got butterflies before breakfast just thinking about being able to talk to him. I think I may even have started crushing. “Tap tap tap”, came the knock at the door. I stood at the “stand here” mark and waited for Sam to open the door. It wasn’t Sam. My heart sank. “W-where's the usual guy?”, I asked the unfamiliar face in front of me. “Fever ma’am”, the man said. I felt the familiar sting of tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t let him know that this news had hurt me somehow, or he might get suspicious. I turned around and went back to the sofa. “Ma’am? Your breakfast?”, he said. “Silly me, I guess I got sidetracked.”, I said to the man as I reached for the styrofoam container. The man reached into his apron and pulled out a plastic envelope that contained a knife, fork, spoon, a salt and pepper packet, and a wet wipe. He handed the envelope to me and with a smile on his face, turned and shut the door. I heard the familiar sound of the locking mechanisms as he locked my door.

I placed the container on my table. I didn’t feel like eating. I just wanted to cry. Instead, I went to my bed. I raised the mattress off of its box springs. Under the mattress was a plastic knife, I had hidden away. I walked to my closet and began etching another tally mark in the very bottom of the wall. I kept track of the days that way. If my calculations were correct, this would be December 31st. The virus started in March. That means, Sam and I have been talking every day for the last nine months. Will I ever get to see him again? Will he survive this sickness? Was it even the virus that gave him a fever? So many questions that I will not find an answer to any time soon. Only time will tell. Tomorrow starts a new year. Hopefully a better year. Before being taken out of our homes, the news covered the virus in depth. “We will have this virus eradicated in less than a year.”, the reports were always the same. “Just do what you’re supposed to, sanitize, stay in your homes, and this will all be over soon.” I was so sick of hearing that. Soon seems like an awfully long way away now. I decided it was time to take a nap. I put my knife back under my bed, replaced the mattress, and got into bed.

I was almost asleep when I heard another knock at the door. I jolted awake. Who would be knocking right now? I couldn’t have been asleep for more than a few minutes, I thought to myself. Someone knocked again. This time the knocks seemed hurried, forceful. I was almost scared to stand on the stand here line. This was quite out of the ordinary. No one has ever knocked on my door this soon after breakfast. “Knock knock knock”. The knocks got louder. “Paisley! I’m coming in please answer me.”, I heard from beyond my door. I recognized the voice. It was from Sam! “Sam!”, I called out. “Sam? What are”, before I could finish my sentence, Sam had burst through my door. “Sam, what are you doing here, I thought you ha…”, I stopped. Sam had interrupted me again. “Paisley”, he said, “It’s true, I do have a fever, but I wanted to be here with you. I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. I ran Paisley! I ran from the hospital. I escaped. I ran all the way here to see you.”, he said in a frantic tone. “Sam! What have you done? How can you? What if someone finds you here?”, I said panicked. “What will happen if they catch you here with me?”, I added. I could see by the look on his face that he didn’t get the response he had hoped for. “We just have to make it one more day Paisley, then we're fine. Just one more day and things can all go back to normal.”, he said with a halfhearted smile on his face. “Sam the virus, it’s killed half the population, you know this better than I do.”, I reminded him. “Oh you don’t really believe that do you Paisley?”, he asked almost sarcastically. “If it hadn’t why put everyone through all of this for the last nine months?”, I retorted back. “Sam you have to go, I don’t want you to, trust me, but you have to go.” Sam looked at me with a bewildered look on his face. I’ll never forget that look. Like I had killed him. My choices were justified. I didn’t want to catch the virus. And now that he has been in my home with a fever, there’s a good chance I could. “Sam”, I said with my head pointed down, eyes locked on the floor, “Sam, I’ll give you until tomorrow morning to make a plan, then you have to go. If they catch us, you more importantly, voluntarily spreading a deadly virus, they’ll put you in prison. Let’s just make the most of this while we can.” I finally had the courage to look at him. His eyes were down as well. At that moment, I knew that he knew he had messed up. “Say something.”, I stammered. “I’ll be gone before breakfast in the morning.”, he said, still not looking up. I walked over to Sam and threw my arms around him. “Thought you were scared of catching the virus.”, he said sarcastically. I didn’t care. At this point, he had already entered my house with a fever. There’s a good chance I could already be infected.

The hours went by quickly. By dinner rations, we were getting good at hiding the fact that someone else was in my house. The keeper came to retrieve my garbage and laundry, took a quick look around, sanitized the stand here location, and walked out, locking the doors as he went. Sam and I spent the rest of the night talking about the lives that we may have had either together or apart before the virus. Apart from the constant worry that someone was going to find out he was there, the night went blissfully. We both grew tired and decided to lay down for a while.

Something startled me awake. “Get up and be thankful for this day, for you are alive and breathing. Take a shower, eat breakfast, and get ready for another exciting day of being alive. And most importantly, don’t forget to sanitize, sanitize, sanitize!”, rang the voice from the loudspeaker. “Shit!”, I exclaimed. I rolled over only to realize that Sam had made good on his promise. He had left during the night. Although I was sad, a wave of relief rushed over me, and it felt good to wash my hands of this. I decided I was going to go about my day, acting completely normal, as if nothing ever happened. I went to my bathroom, which I never thought would make me happy, and grabbed my disposable toothbrush. I ran it under the toothpaste dispenser and proceeded to brush my teeth. I grabbed a towel and unwrapped it. I undressed and got into the shower. Everything will be okay, I kept thinking to myself. Things are back to the way they should be. After my shower, I dried off and placed my clothes in the laundry bin. I went to my dresser and grabbed my white socks, panties, and bra, and put them on. I walked to my closet and grabbed a white tee, and a pair of joggers. Then I remembered. Today was the 1^st. A new year. If Sam and the news before the quarantine were right, we should be done with this whole mess and life will be back to normal. Instead of getting dressed at that moment, I decided to grab my knife and make another tally mark on my wall. A reminder of the last nine months in a prison-like home. Nine months in quarantine. After grabbing my knife, I walked to my closet. I bent down on my knees and moved the clothes away to make my tally mark.

In complete and total awe, I dropped my knife. Every single one of the tally marks that I had meticulously placed over the last nine months, were gone. Every single mark is just gone. Disappeared into thin air. “How can this be?”, I said out loud, frantically. “It’s like they weren’t even there in the first place.”, I continued. I turned to the side of the closet. Nothing. Knock knock knock. “Shit, breakfast!” I grabbed my clothes and tried to scramble towards the door. Something held me back. “Knock knock knock” I heard again. Why couldn’t I move? In an instant, it felt like a ton of bricks had been dumped on me to keep me in place. What was happening? I managed to look down. Somehow I had already put my clothes on. The same white tee, same white joggers. I don’t remember putting these on yet. I tried to move again to no avail. I tried to move my arms. Immovable. There was a leather strap tied to both of my wrists and tied to both ankles. “Knock knock knock”. “Just calm down Paisley. I know you’re confused.” Said a voice behind the door. I looked around, scared, and realized I’m not in my home anymore. I was in a room. A completely white room. There was padding on the wall. A doctor walked to the bed I was being held down on. “You’re up!”, the doctor said. “I’m so happy you’ve awakened.”, he continued. “What happened? Where’s Sam? What am I doing here? Did I catch the virus?”, I asked, my voice shaky. “Paisley, we’ve been over this. Sam passed away in your home. Remember? He got sick. This was nine months ago. Remember? We’ve agreed that you had made the virus up as a coping mechanism to get through losing your boyfriend.”, the doctor said in a condescending way. “What? No! I just talked to Sam last night. He had a fever but came over to my house after leaving the hospital.”, I said. “What do you mean he died?”, I said through welled up eyes. “Tell me!”, I screamed. “What do you mean he died?”, I screamed again, pulling at my restraints. “Nurse! We need to tranq her!”, yelled the doctor to the nurse positioned outside of the room. “No! Tell me what happened to Sam!” I yelled. “Tell me wha…..