I Should've Let My Werewolf Friend Party Alone

Submitted into Contest #104 in response to: End your story with the line, “I’m never going out with you again.”... view prompt

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Funny Urban Fantasy

The last thing I wanted was for Jo to pull me out of my coffin first thing in the night and drag me into a sketchy ass bar. She had been begging to go out to this new place for weeks and for some reason she wanted me, the hermit vampire, to tag along instead of the other werewolf friends Jo has.

When we arrive at the small building, the loud music bleeds through the brick walls. A group of people decked in all black except for their golden medallions stop their chatting to glare daggers at us. My nails dig into Jo’s arm.

All she gives is a laugh. “It’ll be fun, Nat.”

“But what if there are hunters inside?” I whisper frantically. “What if they find out about us and try to stake me or shoot you with a silver bullet? And what about the full moon? That’s happening tonight, isn’t-”

Jo shushes me and muffles my escalating questions with a hug. “You worry too much. We’ll have a couple of drinks-at least I will-hang around a bit, and leave before midnight hits. Does that plan work for you?”

“No.”

“Good.” She drags me inside with a grin.

The moment the guard opens the door, the stench of garlic makes me nauseous, and I cover my nose and mouth to avoid throwing up. Most of the walls on the main floor are covered in mirrors that make me pull my hoodie over my face and my sleeves over my hands to cover for my lack of reflection. Any mirrorless wall is either a one-sided window looking out or has large wooden spikes hanging and ready to be taken and used as spears against a vampire’s heart. The floor above has chairs and tables looking to the dancefloor and bar on the main floor.

My body sticks to Jo’s like a hungry leech as I avoid eye and body contact with the dancing partygoers crowding the place, their dark clothes making them near indistinct from each other. What if they touch my bare skin and flinch away from its lack of heat? What if they are a hunter in disguise with a stake under their coat?

“Overthinking everything again?” Jo’s words cut through the loud music and the earplugs stuffed into my drums to protect my sensitive hearing. Jo doesn’t bother, probably because she’s been to so many parties her eardrums must be blown already.

“Maybe,” I mumble.

I can’t tell if she heard me, but I hear back, “Don’t you dare turn into a bat and leave me here on my own.”

“There are too many witnesses to risk it,” I say as she drags me through walls of people. Their fast-beating hearts make it through my plugged ears. My throat is parched.

I take out my phone for a second to check the time left before the full moon reaches its peak. Before I can put my phone back, a large guy bumps into me and my tight grip on Jo’s arm slips. My voice gets drowned by the music when I yell for her to wait for me and she continues through without me. Another song plays, and a bunch of people swarm the floor and crash into me, pushing me further away from her.

By the time they leave me alone, my hands hold onto the bar and Jo is nowhere to be seen.

I hear someone behind me and turn around. “What?”

The barista's lips move, but I can’t hear a thing. They must’ve sensed my confusion, because they rip an earplug from my ear.

“What drink do you want?” They yell.

Clutching my ear, I respond, “Water, thanks!” I search for my wallet in my jeans and they leave a small glass of water on the table by the time I slap the cash on the waxed wooden surface. I clutch the drink close to my chest but I don’t take a sip as my eyes dart around the dancefloor for Jo’s yellow flannel jacket or the red beanie that covers her mess of hair.

“Looking for someone?” A voice asks beside me. Smiling as I turn is a blonde girl, hair cascading down her shoulders. Her spiked leather jacket and large combat boots make me shrink back. “Don’t worry. I don’t bite.”

I chuckle. The biting joke never gets old. “I’m looking for a friend,” I say, scared to leave her question hanging.

“You come with someone, then?” I hear disappointment in her voice.

“She’s a friend,” I blurt out. “We’re not together. I hope you don’t think she and I have anything going on cause she’s not my type. I don’t know if you’re my type but you seem amazing. Not to say I’m interested in you-well, I am a bit. But not if you don’t like me-”

A hard laugh cones out of her mouth, and she bends over to catch herself. An object in her belt pokes out and shakes with her laughter. If I had a heartbeat, my face would be beet red from the embarrassment and my skin would be the temperature of a burning star.

She inhales deeply and smiles, meeting my eyes. “You’re cute. Are you new around here?”

“To the bar, yeah. My friend dragged me out of my co-” I stop myself from saying coffin, “room. She dragged me out of my room to come here. I don’t go out often, as you may see.” My clothes are baggy and loose, all dark colors to make me stick out less.

“That explains it a bit,” I think I hear her murmur as she takes another sip from her drink.

“If you ask me,” I continue, “I’d rather play video games on my monitor setup than walk into any place with more than three people in it.”

“You play videogames?” she asks with interest.

“Mostly, though many people don't care much.” I shrug. “Hope you don’t mind me asking for your name.”

She takes a large gulp from her drink and extends her hand. “Lyra.”

“Nat. Pleasure.” I touch her skin and immediately regret it as her arm recoils. I sink back unto myself. God, I’m an idiot.

“Your skin is so cold,” she remarks with more intrighe than disgust.

I resort to my typical excuse, though I can barely hear it coming out. “Low blood pressure...and my drink.” I raise my glass as the drops of condensing water drip onto the table.

“I see…” She glances around the room as she fidgets with the medallion in her necklace, its golden sheen tarnished. It’s similar to the ones the people outside wore. On its surface there’s a star with a letter engraved on each point. I squint at it to make each letter out.

She reaches behind her neck. “Want to check it out?” Before I can object, her necklace lands on my hands, and the engravings are clearer. She orders another drink.

The letters H-A-G-G-S are written clockwise starting from the top point of the star. On the center the name Greaves is engraved in cursive.

“Who’s Greaves?” I ask.

“Family name.”

“So, you’re Lyra Greaves? Quite unique!”

“Not really. I was surprised you didn’t have one, but I guess the place is open to the general public and not just us.” She gives me a wink.

I give her a weird look as she takes another sip from her drink. My fingers find more engravings on the other side, so I flip over the medallion.

Hunter’s Alliance Against Supernaturals. Slaying Since 1703.

If I still needed air to live, the engraving would’ve knocked the life out of my lungs. I place the necklace on the table and push it back to her. She receives it with a smile as she puts it back on. Meanwhile, my eyes search through the crowd for Jo.

As I search, I notice more of those necklaces and medallions hanging around people’s necks or dangling on bracelets. Most of the people wearing black have them. Some of them have knives in belts or grips poking out of boots. Above the door is a symbol. The same symbol engraved in the medallions.

This is more than a bar. This is a hunter’s den.

“You know,” Lyra says as she slams her empty glass on the table so hard I jump from my seat, “I found it weird how during our entire conversation I was able to finish two of these, yet your lips never touched your tiny glass of water.” She crosses her arms and places them on the table, her look penetrating. “I wonder why.”

“I guess I’m not thirsty,” I say.

“Does water not quench your thirst?”

“No.” My voice wavers.

“Would blood do the job better?” She smiles, but I find myself unable to speak.

“What am I, a vampire?” I try to laugh, but choke instead as my eyes search for the exit, and for Jo.

Hunters stand guard on both exits, watching us. Watching me.

My eyes find Jo, not on the dance floor but being carried by a muscled guy’s shoulder into another room, unconscious. The man is followed by a couple of hunters before they shut the door.

“Nat,” she says, taking out what I now realize is a knife from her belt, “I’m not the one without a reflection.” She nods to the mirror behind the bar, and a glance reveals my empty hoodie looking back. I am an idiot.

I swallow hard, searching all around the room for any other escape. Some hunters from the dance floor make their way towards me. A person leaves a unisex bathroom close to a corner of the room.

Before Lyra can cut me to pieces, I dash to the bathroom, my speed faster than the blink of an eye. Once I’m in, I lock the door behind me.

If my heart could beat, it would be pumping faster than a locomotive.

I have to get out of here. More importantly, I have to find Jo and get her out of here too. My phone says there are five minutes left before midnight. Five minutes before she transforms and starts tearing shit apart.

A knock comes to the door. My time is running out.

I search close to the roof to find any windows. A vent is bolted above the mirror in the sink. I climb it and rip the grate open as hunters fiddle with the door lock.

My normal form wouldn’t fit into the vents, so I shift into my small bat form and crawl inside.

As I leave the confused and angry yells of hunters behind, I focus my hearing on finding Jo. She may be knocked out, but the second loudest thing to her howls is her snoring. I crawl, travelling through several paths before I catch her distinct snores.

A large room greets me through the other side of the grate. In its center was the cage housing my knocked out friend wrapped in heavy chains. Walls were covered with hanging weapons like holy symbols, stakes, daggers, axes, guns, and other deadly devices.

I grab onto the grate and push its bars as far apart as I can to fit through. Once my small body makes it out, I fly to the cage and slip between its bars.

“Jo!” I whisper in her ear as I try to slap her awake with my wing. “Jo, wake up!” I pull her hair and bite her ear, but all she does is moan in annoyance and turn her head away from me.

“Unbelievable!” I whisper at her. “Even when you’re about to die, your biggest worry is your nap.”

I look at the thick chains and the lock keeping them tight. The keyhole is big enough to fit one of my feet. I reach in and tinker with the pins, pushing them until all release and I turn the lock open, slipping it off the chains and throwing it far away.

I fly out of the cage and do the same with its door, leaving it closed but unlocked to not alert the hunters. How a large group of hunters houses such abysmal werewolf containment and security measures is beyond me.

The door clicks open and I fly into a dark corner of the room, hanging onto one of the weapon racks. A large group of hunters swarm in followed by Lyra at the end, knife in hand as she barks orders.

“The vampire couldn’t have gone far,” she says before splitting all the hunters into groups. “You, search the upper floors. You search the roofs. You watch outside for any movement. You stay on the main floor. You two stay here with me.” The assigned groups leave while Lyra and the two other hunters watch over Jo.

I want to stay in this little corner and not say a word, stay here invisible until they leave and I can escape with my friend. But I want to screw with them for Jo’s sake. God knows she would love that.

One of the hunters sits on a chair as Lyra sharpens her knife and the other hunter looks at the equipment on the walls. The guy sitting, the same guy that brought Jo into the room, wears boots whose laces have gotten untied.

I crawl as carefully as I can under his feet and tie the laces together. The excitement is so great a chuckle escapes my mouth in the form of a hiss.

All the hunters pause and turn to look at my spot under the chair, and I quickly fly out in front of the sitting hunter.

“It’s the vampire!” He yells, arms outstretched as he tries to reach my small form, but the moment he stands and tries to walk, he trips forward and falls on his face.

Lyra tries to reach out at me with the knife, but I dodge her swings and land on her face, covering her view and holding on for dear life. She wanders around as she tries to tear me off her without success, and I  move when the hunter still standing grabs a bottle of holy water and throws it at me. The water splashes Lyra instead.

Laughing my ass off, I try to fly back into the grate, but a hand covers the hole. Before I can stop, its fingers wrap themselves around me and I’m thrown into a wall.

The hit to my back is so hard, I revert to my human form and slide to the floor, stunned by pain. When I look up, the hunter whose shoes I tied stands grinning.

Lyra grabs me by my hoodie and lifts me to my feet. She presses a silver dagger onto my chest, right where my heart is. The two hunters stand beside her as a couple more come through the door.

“Hi, Lyra,” I sigh, kicking myself mentally. I should’ve insisted on staying home.

“Nat...” Her voice is endearing as she presses the dagger deeper into me, threatening to penetrate my clothes and my skin. “Any last words?”

There are so many final words going through my mind. A plea for her not to kill me, a confession to a secret I’ve hidden for decades, a sendoff that makes these hunters question their morality, a quote from a video game…

A question pops into my mind as I lay my eyes unto Jo’s shifting body rising from her slumber.

“What time is it?”

Lyra gives me a confused look before taking out her phone from her pocket and looking at the screen.

“It's midnight. Why-” Her eyes go wide as ragged breathing emanates from the cage and turns into a core-shaking howl. Hunters grab weapons from the walls and draw them at the cage.

Jo shrugs her chains off. Brown fur covers her body, large claws grow from her fingers and toes, and her new wolf-like form stretches her clothes to near tearing. She pushes the door to the cage open and throws every hunter in her way against the walls of the closed room. Some hunters get the end of her claws, which sweep and cut mercilessly as they spray blood on the gray concrete.

With Lyra distracted and wide-mouthed, I turn back into my bat form and dodge all her attempts to slash at me before I land unto Jo’s back and climb onto the scruff of her neck.

“Let’s get out of here!” I yell into her ear and hold tight to her fur as she pushes the hunters blocking the door away and bends the metal open. She runs on her four legs out of the room, jumping over the dancefloor before crashing into a one-sided window and landing on the road.

She runs on all fours as fast as possible through the empty streets of the city with me clinging to her neck so hard I’m afraid I’m choking her. The large buildings soon turn into small homes. The homes turn into thick trees.

Jo runs for a minute longer before her legs skitter on the grass and pants. I roll off her neck, reverting to my normal form and hugging myself through all the sick excitement. I comb my hair with my fingers, my nerves shot. Never in my one-hundred years had I been so afraid to die at the hands of hunters.

Jo, on the other hand, howls at the full moon as if this had been one of the best nights of her life and wanted to relive it. She looks down on me, her tongue out, with a smile on her face as she licks my cheek and proceeds to jump all over me like the excited puppy she is.

I look up at the starless night, my arms and legs splayed on the grass. “I’m never going out with you again.”

July 29, 2021 16:35

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