Trust once broken can't be healed

MISE EN PLACE that's what she said.

I hope I don't forget to mention y'all that this story starts with a girl joining the business school for her higher studies. The no 1 b- school actually, it was her first day to her school. She asked for the way to her classroom. She was just on time and sat in the middle row so that she won't be the one seated on the last,ofcourse she wanted to make some friends so by sitting at last won't help. She didn't choose to sit on the first because she wasn't the shining armour who placed first in her middle school.

She sit on the middle row but does that help dude? Classroom was filled with people but she didn't said a word till now, someone greet her and she does too in return, I mean wtf why can't she be the one to take first step after all she has to spend the upcoming three years with them. Forget it! The class started and ended, since it's the first day they all were planning to hang out together so they asked her for join in but she said she will let them know. I mean again you are doing that how are you going to make friends if you don't hang out with them? But she had reasons she was not a geek nor a princess of Big Daddy, she was short of money and came from a poor household. She doesn't belong to this place, every time she has to remind herself.

She join in unwillingly, she wasn't fun type and can only speak properly in her native language which is for sure not going to help her in staying within the group of this b-school geeks. They choose to hangout at the nearby cafe cum bar, where throughout all the evening she felt unsecured, outcast. She was still smiling and having a positive approach that atleast this is the first time she visited such a place with these people. Since all were waiting for cabs to reach their home, she silently ran away from there because she has to take a bus. Next day, a topic was given and some discussion was going on in the class. Her eyes stuck at a boy who seems friendly and can be her good friend in this school life. So in her dorm she search him online and was disappointed as he was friends with some of the popular people of her class which she was not friends with. But still she started chatting with him and became his friend. She was finally Ben's friend,what a joy for her.

They don't talk much in their classroom but online they were really good friends. One day she got friends with another boy named as Robin who was just like her not so good in studies as you know the like elements attracts each other. They became best of friends but the problem was that Robin was like best of friends with the whole class.

She was insecured that she didn't have any group to showoff in front of others. So for making a group she played the battle of love and war, oops I mean battle against whole class and her just friends. She bring out the point wisely to Ben that whatever he does to be friends with the "popular people" they will always make feel outcast, he denied her completely but she said you will get to know soon. She knew that there's goin to be presentation soon so she eavesdrops "popular people" and was sure of Ben heartbreak. She team with Robin as she knew nobody goin to be his teammate. She asked Robin on one fine day when they two were having chit-chat why does he make fool of himself after knowing that nobody believe in thing called best friends with whole class. He went in deep thought process and replied after taking his time that look I know nobody goin to be friends with me if I don't act friendly with them and join them so I have to act like a fool in order to survive in this school. She felt like he didn't left with any self esteem after becoming a part of this b-school. Later in night she got a message by Ben that he got ditched by "popular people" and now he's not goin to waste any time on keeping friendship with them. So he got in their group for presentation. They performed well in their test. They are now like best of friends and known as "three musketeers".

One day mistakenly I brought my diary with me and my best of friends keep asking to see my personal diary. That's not gonna happen I cried. How can I let them know about that one of my best friend is low self esteem and another one is just want to be cool.

One fine evening I got a message from Ben that he's back in "popular people". I just can't handle that and now my whole day turns pale. I will find some ways to get him back for sure.

Thats for today my dear diary lia!!!

A secret is kept to be hidden but you know my reasons. If I tell them now they would really be disappointed in me but they would surely understand me afterall I made such a bond with them by spending my fruitful time with them.

Best wishes erica

One morning I greeted them with a large smile but I could tell by their faces that they were disappointed and in rage. Robin revealed the diary and ask you too think that I want to be cool by residing with "popular group" and Ben states that you think I am low self esteem who can't take a stand for himself. While I was thinking they decode the diary wrongly. But if I told them that they were thinking wrong that's also not goin to help as they are not goin to believe me further anymore. I tried to give them explanation but they just don't wanna listen. They were very outrageous and told me to not to talk with them as they are breaking our friendship. What to do now? I lost my best of friends. Now I am back a girl with no friends. It's seems true now "what goes around,comes around". I tried contacting and meeting with them but they shouted and asking me to just get lost.

I realise that Ben was cool within our group and Robin was full of confidence, our entertainer. The memories flashed in my mind, our good times together I was so wrong. I was their best friend but still try to nitpick. I was the one who was faulty so I have to apologise to them. As soon as I heard that our school radio program theme for the day is friendship, I ran to the station and apologised to both of them because the least could ask now is forgiveness. They forgive me because "sometimes actions speaks louder than words". But we were not the "three musketeers" anymore.

I started afresh and still improving myself but now I am real with my friends. We sometimes run into each other and pass smiles. But you know the trust can't be healed if once it's broken so their forgiveness is enough for me to live my new life without their friendship.