Over

Emily and Ethan shot out of their seats as soon as the bell rang, amidst the clamor of other juniors. They grabbed their backpacks and headed for the door.

"Can you believe we're seniors next year?" Emily asked.

"You know it! I didn't spend all those years in school not to be at the top of the trash heap!" Ethan yanked on her backpack for emphasis.

"Hey, stop that! You know I hate it when you do that!"

Ethan took on a sultry voice, "I'm the baaaaad guy."

Emily wrinkled her nose, "Ugh, you WERE always such an Eilish stan."

"Shut up, you love her just as much as I do," he elbowed her.

“I’m not the one who SWEARS she wrote ‘Ocean Eyes’ about me. Despite the fact my eyes are BROWN and I only started wearing blue contacts after the song came out.”

Ethan feigned a huff of indignation, taking on a Downton Abbey accent. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you are referring to.” Emily rolled her eyes as he switched back to his usual way of speaking. “So what are you most excited about next year? The senior prom? Field trip? GRADUATING?”

She laughed. “All of it! My niece is gonna be born next year too, and I’m going to spoil her. I love the senior field trip they chose, and I’m really excited about prom -”

“‘Cause you’re hoping Jacob finally notices you, despite history of being left on read.” He winked at her in an obvious and annoying way. 

“He does NOT leave me on read,” she said.

“Oh, should I pull up the receipts then? Or do you plan to come back to reality on your own?” Ethan pointed at his phone.

“Just because you’re my best friend doesn’t mean you get to be a jerk.”

“Hey, I’m ‘full send’ friend mode, OK? Not some fake who’s gonna hype you up with lies.” 

“Fine, you have a point,” Emily confessed. “What are YOU most excited about for next year?”

“Me? I just want it to be OVER. You know how things are at home. I hate it there. It’s why I’m always at your place. I swear it’s not just ‘cause your dad smokes brisket and tri-tip all day and keeps me this lovely shape.” He patted his belly. 

I just want it to be over… over… over… 

Emily was jarred awake from her dream. It was 2 AM on March 11, 2025. It was so hard to sleep, despite constant exhaustion. She was 24 years old and still found 2020 difficult to think about. It was the year that stole everything from her. She stayed in bed and grabbed her dream journal. Sighing, she wrote the dream down, then flipped to the beginning of the book and began reading: 

March 11th, 2020

Everything’s been shut down. I figure I don’t have much else to do but write in this journal. Ethan and I talk a little. He’s ALWAYS on social media though. He says he misses Dad’s brisket but I think he really just misses being here. His nana lives with him and is super-high risk. He doesn’t want to end up giving her anything.

April 1, 2020

Not gonna lie, I was kinda hoping Fauci would jump out and be like, “April Fools!” and tell us we could all get back to our normal lives. Wishful thinking, I guess. I live in PJs now. Not sure when I last brushed my teeth. Not gonna see anyone anyway.

April 7th, 2020

Grandpa is sick. Mom said he should be tested for COVID but he thinks it’s nothing. Mom said he’d better go in or she’s gonna harass him every day until he does. She said he sounds terrible over the phone. He finally agreed to get tested. I guess we’ll get the results in a week or so? Ethan reminded me that Grandpa promised to teach him to fish this summer. Next time I talk to Grandpa on the phone I’ll tell him.  

April 9, 2020

Grandpa’s getting worse. Mom keeps yelling at him to go to the hospital to be checked out but he said he doesn’t even know for sure what to do. She called his hospital to ask and they said he should come in. I don’t remember all mom told me he needs to do but it’s a lot. COVID precautions, I guess. I called while he was in the waiting room to remind him about fishing. He laughed a little bit. It was kind of wheezy sounding. He’s been coughing a lot too. It’s late so I’ll write more tomorrow. He’s still there, waiting. 

April 10

They admitted Grandpa. He tested positive. I remember how nice he was to me when we went fishing together. Always excited when I caught the tiniest fish. I hope Ethan and I can fish with him again after all this. I think we’d all have a great time.

April 13

He died today. No fishing trips. Can’t go to his funeral either.

I’m so tired.

May 2

Mike and Sarah had their baby girl. Ava Harper Brown is SO precious. I want to meet her and hold her but we can’t. He video chatted us though. Grandpa would have loved her. I just want this to be over so things can get back to normal. So I can meet Ava in person. Ethan says she looks like me but I told her she’s way too cute for that.

May 19? 20?

I don’t know what day it is anymore.  It doesn’t matter, right? We’re still stuck home, no end in sight. They’re supposed to come up with a vaccine, but I’m not getting my hopes up. I missed prom. I missed senior breakfast. I won’t be walking the stage. Everything I was excited about for my senior year, I’ve missed. This is a nightmare. I miss Grandpa and I want to meet Ava and hug my brother again. 

June

Talked to Ethan on the phone today. He sounds just as depressed as I am. He’s been posting a lot more Tik Tok videos, so that’s cool. Neither of us can dance worth anything but it’s fun to try. Something to do. But on the phone today… I don’t know. He said he couldn’t even job hunt because of the mandates. He was really looking forward to getting out on his own. We all want this to be over.

November 5

I can’t believe this year is taking MORE from me. Just when I thought it was done, that things might start getting better.

Ethan, you were the best. Why did you do it? All you left us with were memories and notes.

Emily lifted the tear-stained paper from her journal. She glanced at the clock - she was supposed to be at work in 20 minutes, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. Body shaking with grief, she read the note he’d scrawled next to a hand-drawn sunflower:

Thanks for being my best friend, Emily. I’m sorry, I tried to hold on. I just want it to be over.