I quit

           “I quit”. I'm tired, I'm exhausted. I do everything in every grouping so, I quit. I've been Director of Community Relations for RUFS, I've been program assitant at a Senior Day care, I was a member of SAM's, I'm a member of a GYM, I'm a member of ATD, I'm a member of AA. I'm a member of everything and I quit. I'm tired of being tired and not being able to sleep. I'm tired of cramming my memory with all the club events and business meetings. I'm just flat out tired and I quit everything. I'm going to stay home, sleep in, masturbate, eat, wash up, and repeat. I quit. I'm tired of getting the phone calls asking me if I can trade places from people. I'm tired of having to call relatives and friends to keep in touch. I'm tired of helping other who don't reciprocate. I'm tired and I quit. I quit everything. I quit.

*

           Night before day one is great. I click on the middle button of my alarm clock until all the lights turn off. I don't have to be anywhere. I quit. There will be bills but I have a well-stocked 401k, so I'll be fine. I could also win the lotto or the PCH. You never know. But, my kitchen is well stocked, I have an emergency store house in case the world ends, so I quit. I'm good for about twenty years. I don't need sun light, don't need socialization. I needed to quit and not be needed so I quit. I quit. There's a joke:  “A rabbi, a priest, and a minister are talking about when life begins. The priest says life begins at conception. The minister says life begins at child birth. The rabbi says life begins when the kids move out and the dog dies.” So, I quit. I have enough coffee, but won't need it since I can sleep in forever. I have a soda machine with boxes of syrup and selzter water. I have everything I need and nothing and nobody I don't. I quit. The world existed before I was born and will exist after I quit. I quit. I'm the opposite of lonely. I'm too popular. Too many need me and I can't anymore. I can't. I quit. I turn off my cell phone. I quit apps like crossword puzzles, brain games, coloring games, money games, texts, phone calls, meditations: “Congratulations! 456 continuous days of meditation,” Who cares? I quit ESP training. I quit Zoom calls, churches, Anonomymous groups. I quit. Who cares if I relapse? I quit doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, calls from friends, calls to friends. “No man is an island” so my name is now “No man”. I don't have women arguing over who's dating me. I don't have porn, I just have my right hand and rest. Nobody's inspecting my room for cleanliness, nobody's looking at e-mail, nobody's hugging others and not me, nobody's preventing me from having a pet, nobody's guarding the gate. I live underground in tunnels and sewage units. No one's complaning about varnish smells or fires. Nobody's having fire drills in the bomb shelter. No one's gossiping. There's R and R, a chigi, and a fake yard with a fake fire hydrant. There's no TV shows to catch up on, no bowling trips, no books to read and return to the library. I've returned them all without reading any of them. I quit. No more family events, no kvetching. Me, dog, bathtub, and a male vibrator. There's no more tasks to complete because there are no more tasks. My dog, Pegasus, loves cuddling and hugging. He/she has learned all the tricks Finn knew. We have enough dog food and treats to last the dog's lifetime. I get up, take Pegasus to the fake hydrant, he/she goes, does tricks, gets a treat, and we go back to sleep. I quit working out. No more showers, only baths. I quit. I quit. There's no more stories to write. No more art work to make. No instruments to practice.  No volunteer positions. No woman stalker. No loud dining hall. There's nothing to do but cuddle with my warm dog and run. 

           I have flea and heartworm pills Pegasus loves. I am content and there is nothing I'm seeking. “The Lord is my shepheard, I shall not want.” My dog and I are a tribe, a family. I understand Pegasus and Pegasus understands me. He/she is happy to see me and we're just content. There's nothing being started and there's nothing to be completed. I've accomplished all my goals. I'm published, married with a boy and a girl, I own this house, four cars, a backyard, health care. They're grown up and happy. I'm content. I'm an ordained minister, NST, CM, CH, LM, and certified physical medium. It's all complete. There's nothing else I have to pursue. My parents are proud of me, they're talking to their family and my family. Everyone is happy and content. Pegasus and I have two way conversations: he/she listens to me and I listen to him/her. My muscles grow on their own without working out. My blood pressure stays down on its own. My hair is regrown. Everyone loves me and I love everyone and there's nothing else I have to do. I've accomplished my dreams and am content. I am content so I can now quit. I quit. I quit. I walk around my bomb shelter naked and Pegasus doesn't care. I'm published and a best selling author. I no longer need any medication. My blood pressure is normal and consistent: 120/80. Every time I take it, it's 120/80. Always. I've also been on mainstage 2^nd City, Chicago. I've completed the classes in the conservatory. I've been on SNL and been on TV and in movies. Everybody knows me so now I can relax. I can relax. I can enjoy a single Bass without having to drink more. I am okay. I never have to call, play, or hear Bingo again, ever. I understand the game Bridge. I'm smart and already know everything so I can just relax. I quit. I've won the PCH and the jackpot in the Mega Millions. I quit. I quit. I'm content and I quit. I quit. I have water brought in front Seattle, Washington to make coffee. I get to go to any concerts I want. I'm content and I quit. I quit. 

           I have inner peace and outer peace. My family all talk to each other. I'm writing scripts for SNL and acting for SNL. It feels like family. I can drive or fly anywhere I want. I've also gotten my CDL A, helicopter license, and pilot license. I can go anywhere I want any time I want. I know how to fold clothes, tie my shoes, put blinds up and down, paint, I'm flexible, I'm the person everyone asks for sermons from at church. I'm complete. I'm content. There's nothing else I have to do, ever. I'm retired, I'm happy. I quit. Pegasus comes over to my leather couch and I pick him/her up and they cuddle with me. “Life is good.” There's nothing else I have to do. I quit. “Life is good”.