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Funny Fiction Friendship

The phone rang, waking up Iris from a sound sleep and a nice dream.  She knew it could only be one person at that hour of the morning. She glanced at the cell phone near her bed  on her nightstand and it was 3 am and the caller ID said  “Willie Calling.” Willie was Iris’s younger brother and the troublemaker of the family. He was the youngest of 8 kids and the shortest and the one with the infuriating personality. He never kept a job longer than a year and he drove cream-colored station wagons riddled with roaches at times.  The roaches crawled over the empty cartons of cigarettes, beer bottles, cupcake cartons, fast food containers and lots of empty  candy wrappers  purchased over the weeks and months. It was a safe guess that more times than not that station wagon was his home although he would never admit it.  Nobody liked to ride with him and most everyone  he knew called it the roach mobile. His siblings all assumed he  didn’t seem to care at all about evading  his car. Once he gave Iris a stereo he said he got from one of his girlfriends. Iris opened  the lid to play a record and 5 roaches jumped to the floor. Iris screamed and ran to get the  can of Raid insect spray.

Iris sat up in bed and adjusted the covers  from her arms and hands so she could easily answer the phone. She prepared herself to hear  Willie’s weekly problem. 

“Hey Iris. Can I come over? I just came from Jett's house and I told her that I was going to come back  home and dig up my dynamite  in the backyard and come back to her house and show it to her so she won’t mess with me anymore.” Willie said, talking fast. 

“Willie, it is too early in the morning for this crap. You know good and well that you don’t have anything like that in any backyard or anywhere else and can you please just find somewhere to go because I am not opening the door. I have work in the morning.”

“Iris, I have work too. I was just calling you…” Willie started to talk again.

“No, don’t call me before 9 am,'' Iris snapped. “ I have to go.” Iris hung up the phone.

Willie didn’t like most of his siblings and he knew that their opinion of him was not very favorable. He would be right it wasn’t.  Willie worked odd jobs and never graduated from high school. He had a few girlfriends over the years. His girlfriend’s are always older and always had kids his age or older. His sister Iris was the only sibling who would occasionally let him spend the night and give him loans when he was in between jobs. Willie drove to the bakery where Iris worked and owned. He was going to ask her for two things she had always given him, a loan and a place to stay. He hoped that she was feeling generous.

Iris looked up from the counter and saw her brother walking from his car to the door. She wished she could run over there and turn the sign around from open to closed. But it was the middle of the day and she had a line of customers so that was not feasible. She did the next best thing. She waited for him to come in and say his peace. 

Willie  waited until Iris acknowledged him. He didn’t acknowledge the customers  standing in line; he just stood there in  her little bakery in the middle of downtown. He stood there watching the dozens of cookies going into boxes and bags and the coffee, donuts and muffins being consumed by the customers sitting at the tables chatting and drinking hot tea and coffee in the paper cups with plastic lids.  The aroma of the baked goods embraced  him like a warm blanket on a chilly day. He noticed Iris saying something to one of her employees  and she walked from behind the counter and headed towards him. He was standing near the front door. He would have sat but there was not an empty table. He stood wearing his very  worn out and dirty leather coat, torn jeans and good dress shoes that had a nice shine to them. He sniffed under his arms and his nostrils filled  up with a faint onion smell.  He hoped the smell was not noticeable to anyone else.  He waved to Iris as she walked over to him. Iris rolled her eyes and motioned for him to step outside. 

“What is it Willie? Why are you here?” Iris asked. 

“I didn’t mean to bother you at work but I need a small loan. I am going to start a job tomorrow at Rich’s car lot. I am going to wash the cars on the lot and clean out the inside of them. I need some gas money though. I promise to pay you back when I get paid. You know that I am getting paid every day after I am done because Rich is doing me a favor.” Willie explained.

He thought better of asking for a place to stay. Iris didn’t look like she was in that charitable mood. 

“How much do you need?” Iris asked.

“About $40.” Willie answered looking at the ground.

Iris reached into her pocket and pulled out a hundred  dollar bill and handed it to her brother. She patted him on the back as he left. She loved her brother but wished he would get his life together. 

As soon as Iris walked into her house after work her cell rang again. She sighed and said,  “Oh please don’t let this be Willie.” But, the caller ID said it was a totally different person.

“Jett, what’s up?” She asked her older sister.

“Have you heard from Willie?” Jett asked.

“I just saw him today. What did he do now?” Iris asked.

“Just the usual. Calling saying he was going to bring his dynamite to my house and he was pissed at me because I would not give him money. Did you give him anything?” Jett said.

“No, not much.” Iris lied.

Jett and Willie fought like mortal enemies and Iris didn’t want to get in the middle of their latest family feud. 

“What do you mean not much?” Jett asked

“Just what I said. Now, if that is all you wanted I have to go.” Iris hung up before her sister could say another word. 

Willie went to work for his friend Rich and kept the job for over a year. In that year nobody saw or heard from him. Him and the roach coach, as everyone called his car, were missing in action. Iris had mixed feelings. She was worried but  also had a sense of relief.  Life was peaceful. Then there was a knock on the door. Iris almost jumped out of her skin. She was not expecting anyone and had no idea who it could be. She put the chain on the door and cracked it open enough for her to see the face standing there peeping in through the chain.  Iris took the chain off of the door and opened the door wider. 

“Hey Willie. Long time no see.” Iris said as she opened her front door.

Willie was dressed in a new designer suit, newly shined dress shoes and was holding a bouquet of  multi -colored  beautiful flowers in his hand. His life had changed for the better and he wanted to share the news with Iris. He handed Iris the flowers and smiled. She cautiously took them and smiled back. 

“Iris. I got married two months ago. Her name is Louise and  she has a son and a daughter. She is out in the car if you want to meet her.” Willie said.

Iris stood there with a dumb expression on her face somewhere in between disbelief and horror. Willie noticed the look and laughed. He didn’t say anything, just turned and walked to his car. In a few seconds he was back with a tall, slim woman with a  big  afro  and   huge hoop gold earrings dangling from her ears. She was dressed equally as nice as Willie in a long purple dress, a gold chain around her small neck and matching low heeled pumps.  Louise was holding onto his arm and  had a struts like she was royalty with her head held high. She didn’t look that much older than Willie but most of his girlfriends didn’t.  Iris stuck out her hand for Louise to shake but Louise drew Iris into a tight bear hug. 

Iris politely ended the hug after a few seconds. Louise’s perfume was an intoxicating floral scent. Iris thought that Louise put just a tad too much on for her taste. Louise invited both she and Willie inside for some coffee.  Iris went into her small kitchen and put on a pot of strong coffee. Louise was not a shy woman and talked about everything that popped into her mind including the fact that she met Willie in a strip club. She was not stripping just the bartender she wanted to make clear to Iris. Iris smiled and nodded for most of the hour-long one sided conversation. When the coffee was done she brought out three mugs of piping hot coffee and some chocolate muffins from the bakery. Louise happily chatted for another 30 minutes and munched on muffins before  Iris got a word in; she asked the one question which was on her mind ever since Willie uttered the word married. 

“Louise, I know my brother very well and  he has asked a few women to marry him but they all declined. What made you say yes?” Iris was trying to be tactful with the question but she knew that there was no way she could ask it any other way. 

Louise cleared her throat, picked up her now cold cup of coffee and took a tiny sip. She returned the cup to the table, took a napkin and blotted her cherry red lipstick and the corners of her mouth. She glanced at Willie and grabbed his right hand and turned her glance to Iris. She smiled sweetly at Iris  before she answered. 

“Iris dear, I married your brother because I love him and for his dynamite in the backyard.” 

Iris nearly fainted.

January 27, 2022 05:32

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