My Senior Year In High School

He used the newspaper he had in his hand to touch me in my private part on the train, it was so uncomfortable, but I was so young I did not know what to do. I was on my way home from school, and I took the train because I had to get to New Jersey. I did not tell my mother what happened because I felt like it was my fault, plus her, and I did not have a normal mother and daughter relationship. When I got married, I told my then-husband about the incident, and he said to me, " did you enjoy it?" I was shocked when he said that, and I realized that the devil possessed him. So she could not talk to her mother or then-husband because they are different from her.

I experienced so many traumas, but somehow, I learned to forget them. For example, I had to continue my high school year in NYC while I resided in NJ, and something happened to me on the train, and I kept it a secret for so many years. 

I understand now, how come my ex-husband was not nice at times.

The father of my children probably had too much to drink when he celebrated his new wife's birthday with her mother and some other family members at his home. Apparently, he revealed a lot from his past that I did not know about. His karate teacher was a drug dealer in Paterson, and he also got shot many times. If I remembered his karate teacher died from a drug overdose. The father of my children was not too decent when he was younger, he sold drugs, and he witnessed so people who got shot and also committed suicide. My son heard his stories, and when I called my son, he asked me to tell him my stories. Fist, I explained to my son that I met his father at Union Hospital, and he worked as a radiology technician, and he excelled in the department and all the doctors like his work ethic. The doctors wanted him to pursue his career and become a doctor. I started to work at Union hospital as per diem, and the manager of the department like my work ethic and offered me a full-time position. I was born in Haiti, and Haitians take pride in their careers and their lives because they understand the privilege that the USA offers to others. We are not afraid to work and acquire wealth that is available o us.

I am sure that my ex-husband knows that I would not have to get involved with him if I knew how bad he was. I am so glad that God helped me when he tried to destroy me with his cohorts. So now, I am sure that my children understand him so much better, and they might even realize how he wanted to hurt me.

I am so grateful for my children, and I love them so much, they are the best part of me, and I am glad that they are following their purposes and they are happy, and they get along with each other. They trust each other and rely on each other. They have a powerful bond, and they love me.

Based on everything that I learned about my ex-husband, the father of my children, I genuinely say that he and his new wife are a great match made in heaven. They deserve each other and may their lives so connect that they learn to spend so many times together and let my children have peace times so they can grow and find great people to help them in their journey. Although I want the man that God has for me will show up in my life, and I could continue to be a good role model for my children.

I am a light to the Haitian community and the Blacks in the United States. I went and married a man who kept his past from me. I guess he knew I was raised like a princess. I also do not care much about money, and I know I am born to be wealthy, so I follow my purposes. I let him get away with so much because I had to stay healthy to see my grandchildren and great-grandchildren later in life. I remembered I was home resting when my attorney's secretary called me and said: " We are waiting at the courthouse for you." How did I forget that I was supposed to be in court that day? I managed to make it to court, and when I faced the judge, and he asked me to do I want to change my last name, I answered "no" because I was thinking about my children. The judge also asked me if I wished to child support and alimony I answered "no." I did not want to be greedy since we made the decision that I could get the business in Belleville, NJ. It was almost like I was under the influence because I made so many bad decisions. I allowed the white woman to win, and she ended up with my children and the father of my children.

I had to focus on my health, mainly because I camouflage my pain with alcohol, which was something I did before when I got pregnant the first time I had intercourse with the wrong man. I like his brother but somehow the person I told about the man I want to make a mistake. It took me about thirty years to realized that he was not the man I like but his brother. 

What happened on the train to me stayed dormant for many years, and it also makes me aware of what was going on with me. I tried to be charming most of the time and expect others to be nice too, however people are people, and they can be mean at times.