So Sure

Topic: Write a story about a character driving and getting lost.

So Sure

Friends and family that claim they really know me say that I exhibit obsessive behaviors. Usually, they use words such as persnickety, finicky, or picky to describe me. How can these words be character enhancing? After all they contain an “ick” derivative. I rebut them by saying that I need to be this way because I travel the highways and byways of the country for a living with the certainty of knowing where I was going.  Yes, I am a traveling salesman (or person if you prefer). My territories cover Utah, Wyoming, and Colorado. Splendid country! Splendid views of the mountains and clean air. I am quite familiar with the major thoroughfares and back roads to my clients. 

I painstakingly route out my travels to my destinations being cognizant of travel times, road construction, weather, and even potential congestion areas.  Speaking of congestion, when I left for my most recent destination I had been suffering severe sinusitis. Ahh chew! (excuse me). I am not a proponent of cellular phone technology using GPS. In the mountains and highlands contact with cell towers is variable. Sporadic interruptions with GPS usually result in lost time and direction. This is my one and only excuse that allows me to explain away my obsessive compulsiveness and my lack of a decent cell phone. I still use to this day an old Motorola flip phone. Works like a charm when you have power, connectivity, and the time to enter text via the 1 to 9 alphabet (3 letters per number).

Perhaps understanding a few things about myself might help to unravel my troubled nature and enlighten you about the situation I encountered.

For many months leading up to my most recent sales call, I have been experiencing anxiety and even depression. I used to pride myself on how fixated I would become keeping up with current events. Nonetheless, this past year has been wrought with great sadness and turmoil in the world and especially in the U.S. I feel so burdened by all of the strife and hostility among American people regarding race, ethnicity, culture, politics, and now religious ideology. I could not exert any influence on these things. I decided long ago to forsake any of my religious upbringing. It did not seem to help me or anyone for that matter. Quietly I asked myself where is God anyway when you need Him? Young people should be embracing one another with song and dance. Instead, they are now engaging countrymen in anger, resentment, and deep hatred.   My heart just aches. I stopped listening or watching the news altogether. On top of this, my own life was replete with unhappiness, bordering on despair. I really have no close friends and my immediate family is estranged from me because of my quirky behavior and lack of priorities. My ex-wife sadly called me a lost soul. My travel and work were my outlet for satisfaction and peace of mind. I could control these things. They added to my own self-identity and credibility that keep me going.

Strangely, I received a call one afternoon from a potential client outside my normal territory. I agreed to meet him the next day.  I calculated that a one-way trip would take about 5 hours assuming no hiccups. In my haste to get on the road (not in my character), I failed to get exact directions. Apparently, the client was deep in the mountains in Dixie National Forest, Utah. The client was perched near or on top of Haycock Mountain. I was not familiar with that area, although I was aware of route 143 that ran east to southwest through the forest and highway 89 that ran north and south through Panguitch, UT. I searched maps of the area discovering that many of the smaller roads in the area were closed off. The best I could discern was that they were incomplete or dead-ends because of thick forest, creeks, or rock formations. I figured that I would have to follow signs and use my experienced sense of direction to navigate the remaining journey (again not in my character).  I loaded up my car with an overnight bag, my emergency road kit (cables, first-aid kit, flares, canned air, an outdated MRE) and water. I made sure I had my trusty flip phone, a half-pack of cigarettes (I started smoking again) and a full tank of gas. I was so sure I would make good time. My quick arrival on the same day would show the client how serious I am about his business. I was so sure I could close the deal.

It was late morning when I left my apartment. Weather conditions looked good for an early April so I assumed it to be the case for my 5-hour journey (an assumption not in my character). Highway traffic was moderate for the first hour. As I headed closer to the mountain range, I noticed deep grey ominous clouds were gathering at the peaks.  As I climbed higher in elevation, the altitude change clogged my already aching sinuses. I popped a few antihistamines to reduce the pressure. I reluctantly turned on the radio to hear for any local weather forecasts. Instead, the few stations I was able to tune into had incessantly long newscasts about the national news. More shootings in Chicago, LA, and New York. The college protesters were inciting violence across the campuses. Ukraine and the Gaza Strip were targeted with incendiary bombs.  Women’s rights, LBGTQ rights, political rights, unborn rights, everyone’s rights were all up for grabs. The world’s woes, my personal strife, and now inclement weather bore down upon me! 

Paranoia was settling into my thoughts. It started to drizzle.  I was now 3.5 hours into my journey. I knew I had crossed into the Dixie Forest because I was heading south on state road 89 passing through Panguitch. I felt I was getting close to my destination, but I had no idea what turnoff road would allow me access to Haycock Mountain. The rain turned into sleet. The roads were getting icy and I struggled to find any kind of turnoff road. I decided to keep going west until I came upon an access road that would lead me up to the mountain. 

At last, I saw on the right another rocky dirt road heading up on an incline. The sleet turned into a mixture of freezing rain and snow. At this point I had no feel for the road. At times my tires would glide over the icy dirt. Where am I? I had to find another way, another road. I had traveled too far on this dirt path to go back. Through my glazed windshield I noticed another dirt road heading west as well. I began to whimper quietly, “I am so lost.” The car kept sliding. My peripheral vision caught images of sheep roaming the mountainside. I felt the need to calm my nerves by having a smoke. I reached for the pack laying on the passenger seat. I was still in control of my situation. In the instant I took my eyes of the road the car slid into thick brush. The car quickly stopped with a thud as I hit a rock embankment. Momentarily, I was dazed but still conscious. Once I gathered my wits, I assessed the damage. Not good. The front frame of the car was bent and the radiator was split open. Oh, my head hurt! My body ached! My spirit was crushed! I was so lost, and such a fool!

The sleet turned back into cold rain. The drops felt like pellets slapping my face. Perhaps that was a good thing because I remembered the grazing sheep. If there were sheep, then there was likely someone tending over them. With great trepidation, I walked back to the place where I had seen the sheep. As I came upon the flock, I noticed a shepherd’s hut with a small fire burning near its entry. Sitting right outside the doorway, sat a man huddled by the fire. He looked up from the fire and said, “You are not lost.” He surprised me by his statement thinking he had meant to say that ‘I was lost.’ But then he added, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep.  All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them.  I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out and find pasture.  The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10: 7-10, NIV)

I asked Him, who are you really? “I am the Good Shepherd.” (John 10:11, NIV). “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (Luke 19:10, NIV).

His words penetrated my heart like a saber. I was lost but He said I was not. He said He was the Son of Man, a title used in the Bible referring to the Messiah, the Chosen One, the Anointed One. I ruminated over those words carefully. I was so sure of myself. I always thought I was in control. I was not lost. But I had rejected my faith. In doing so I had rejected God. Oh, this was worse than death itself! A deep despair came upon me. 

I awoke to flashing lights and people scurrying around me. I was in a forest ranger’s vehicle laying in the back seat. My head ached miserably.  The ranger told me he had been making his rounds when a GPS alert sounded on his phone indicating a stranded motorist in his vicinity. The air bag had failed to deploy and I had hit my head on the steering wheel.  I wondered about that little flip phone of mine and the GPS alert. No doubt that my survival was more than good fortune. I believe my trip was more than just seeking out a new prospect.

Whether I was dreaming or actually had witnessed the shepherd and his hut, I am SO SURE from this point I needed to restart my life by living in faith. A faith that trusts God under all circumstances especially in a dark, uncaring, corrupt world. It was time for me to reach out to those who were estranged to me and to the lost sheep of this world.  I had to live as an example of the love given to me from the Good Shepherd, Jesus Christ who gave His life for His sheep. This now is the beginning of my new life, enriched and full of God’s hope to come.

Acknowledgement: Reedsy.com

(NIV: New International Version Bible)